Monthly Archive

It's not just the stock market that's been telegraphing "trouble" about the economy. The price of thoroughbreds has matched Wall Street's gyrations. Yearlings that sold for an average of $27,295 in ... read more..

Walking into a lingerie store, a customer says to the clerk, "I'd like to buy a pair of stockings for my wife."The clerk asks, "Sheer?"The man replies "No. She's in another store."... read more..

An American history teacher, lecturing the class on the Puritans, asked: "What sort of people were punished in the stocks?" To which a small voice from the back of the room responded: "The small inves... read more..

I couldn't believe that the statue was not made of stone. Next time, I won't take a work of art for granite.... read more..

I had given our daughter, who was 14 at the time, a drivers manual. On the way to town one day, I was coaching her as I drove. I told her to be studying her book so as to be ready when it came time ... read more..

A guy walks into a doctor's office with a strawberry growing out of his head.The doctor says, "I'll give you some cream to put on it."... read more..

The workers at the Federal Mint went on strike today. They are demanding to make less money!... read more..

The other day I saw school students applying cosmetics. They were taking a makeup test.... read more..

Ben: One of our pigs was sick so I gave him some sugar.Dan: Sugar! What for?Ben: Haven't you ever heard of sugar-cured ham?... read more..

He said he bought his suit for a ridiculous price.The truth is, he bought it for an absurd figure.... read more..

Did you hear about the goober who stayed up all night wondering where the sun went?It finally dawned on him.... read more..

Reading whilst sunbathing makes you well-red.... read more..

A Sunday School teacher began her lesson with a question."Boys and girls, what do we know about God?"A hand shot up in the air."He is an artist!" said the kindergarten boy."Really?! How do you know?"... read more..

One morning a man got up early to watch the sun rise.As he sat in the dark it suddenly dawned on him!... read more..

An old couple was just settling in to bed one night when the phone rang. The husband got out of bed and went into the living room to answer the phone. His wife could hear him say, "Hello?" Then he ... read more..

If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one here. A goober was making his first visit to a hospital where his teenage son was about to have an operation. Watching the doctor's e... read more..

A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, "No change yet."... read more..

Sweat: Workman's Condensation... read more..

A grandmother sent her grandson a sweater for his birthday.Unfortunately, he had a size 14 neck and she sent a size 12 sweater. His mother insisted that he send a thank you note.So he wrote, "Dear Gr... read more..

Morty and Saul, are out one afternoon on a lake when their boat starts sinking. Saul the banker says to Morty, "So listen, Morty, you know I don't swim so well." Morty remembered how to carry another ... read more..

Syntax is all the money collected at church from sinners.... read more..

A Jewish couple won twenty-million dollars in the lottery. They immediately set out to begin a life of luxury. They bought a magnificent mansion estate in Southampton and surrounded themselves with ... read more..

On her 15th birthday, my daughter opened a package from her mom and her sisters. Out came a beauty case containing many samples of makeup."Neat!" I exclaimed. "Your own tackle box!"My wife calmly expl... read more..

A woman was working in her yard with the weed whacker, when she accidentally cut off the tail of her cat.She ran screaming into the house, and told her husband, wondering what to do.He replied calmly,... read more..

I have a dog that talks in its sleep. One day a visitor was astonished to hear the dog bellow, "My name is Christopher Columbus! I am seven hundred years old! I own America! I married Marilyn Monroe!"... read more..

I was in the kitchen one day, trying to reach the baking powder on the top shelf of a cabinet. Being only five feet tall, I had to stretch, but still couldn't grab the box.Fortunately, I have two six... read more..

"I don't know why my wife is mad at me for the tank top she wanted for her Christmas present. I found the turret but just could not get anyone to sell me the howitzer."- Lawrence Brotherton read more..

I need some duct tape - my duck has a quack in it.... read more..

Sweet, Red, and Idaho are all favorite kinds of taters (potatoes). Here are some lesser known ones.1. Some people are very bossy and like to tell everyone what to do, but of course they do not wish ... read more..

Seen on a Taxidermist's sign:"We really know our stuff."... read more..