Monthly Archive

The chief of staff of the Air Force decided that he would personally intervene in a recruiting crisis affecting all of our armed services. So he directed that a nearby Air Force base be opened and th... read more..

A man opens his refrigerator, and the mayonnaise yells, "Close the door! I'm dressing!"... read more..

The game show contestant was only 200 points behind the leader and about to answer the final question - worth 500 points!"To be today's champion," the show's smiling host intoned, "name two of Santa's... read more..

(This is an absolutely aweful pun - included here only because I know some of you sick pun lovers need your fix of torturing co-workers with it all day.)As you know, it is very important for Santa and read more..

It was the night before Christmas when Santa Claus' sleigh team became one member short because of a sudden illness.When an inflatable plastic reindeer was used to fill the void in the team, so no one... read more..

Village Dry Cleaners has relocated to High Street, right next door to St. Joseph's Church.After March 1, Cleanliness Is Next to Godliness.... read more..

An amateur genealogical researcher discovered that his great-great uncle, Remus Starr, a fellow lacking in character, was hanged for horse stealing and train robbery in Montana in 1889. The only known... read more..

"Those who research and write about diseases could become ill-literate." read more..

Asked why she was leaving her position, a secretary explained in her letter of resignation: "Dear Boss, My reason for leaving will soon be apparent - and so will I. Signed: Mary."... read more..

Did you hear about the new restaurant chain opening nationwide? It is a partnership between Kareem Abdul Jabarr, Ryan Coffee, and Sugar Ray Leonard.They're going to call it: "Coffee, with Kareem and S... read more..

I was having dinner at a nice restaurant the other night. The couple at the next table were smooching from the moment they sat down. Oh how romantic, young love! But I couldn't figure out what was goi... read more..

I went into a French restaurant and asked the waiter, "Have you got frog'slegs?"He said, "Yes."So I said, "Well hop into the kitchen and get me a cheese sandwich."... read more..

"As the chef in the restaurant knows,The beluga is old, and it shows.For a food that's a tempter,It's caviar emptor:Beware of those secondhand roes!"- Chris Doyle read more..

A woman walks in a store to return a pair of eyeglasses that she had purchased for her husband a week before. "What seems to be the problem, madam?""I'm returning these glasses I bought for my husband... read more..

A young woman really thought she'd been very patient, through a protracted period of dating with no talk of marriage. One night her steady boyfriend took her to a Chinese restaurant.As he perused the... read more..

Years ago there was a baker's assistant whose sole job was to pour the dough mixture for making sausage rolls (apparently the royal family loved sausage). Because people were identified by their profe... read more..

He's a forthright character: Right about a forth of the time.... read more..

Once some burglars broke out in the bank, one of them pointing the gun to the cashier said, "Give me all your money, or you'll be GEOGRAPHY!" The cashier laughed and said, "You mean to say HISTORY." T... read more..

Robin Hood and his merry men were in Sherwood Forest one night celebrating, and imbibing. They all became inebriated. And then Friar Tuck began to sing. He became louder with each drink.Robin Hood,... read more..

With all the borscht they consume, I don't understand why Russians aren't the world's greatest rock stars. I mean, everyone knows that the heart of rock and roll is the beet.... read more..

With all the borscht they consume, I don't understand why Russians aren't the world's greatest rock stars.I mean, everyone knows that the heart of rock and roll is the beet.... read more..

Everybody is remaking their oldies hits! - Herman's Hermits - "Mrs. Brown, You've Got A Lovely Walker" - The Bee Gees - "How Can You Mend A Broken Hip" - The Temptations - "Papa's Got A Kidney Stone" ... read more..

The best way to find a screeching rock star is with a Heavy Metal Detector.... read more..

A rock store was closed by the police.They were taking too much for granite.... read more..

A young cowboy asked his father, "Do you think I can make a good living riding wild horses in a rodeo?"His dad replied, "You should get a couple of bucks out of it."... read more..

A girl was visiting her friend who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were.The friend responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.Her friend said, "Whoe... read more..

My friend Judy was working at a Maine costal resort when she answered a call for information about the inn. After finishing the conversation, Judy stepped away from the desk. When the phone rang again... read more..

A minister had just finished an excellent dinner at the home of a congregation member when he saw a rooster come strutting through the yard."That's certainly a proud-looking rooster," the minister com... read more..

Happy New Year everyone! It is my sincere hope and prayer that you have a peace filled and blessed 2004.Here is today's CleanPun.A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. "My dog's cross-eyed, is there... read more..

Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.... read more..