Monthly Archive

Mathematicians are all wrong! They're always talking about "Pi R squared." No! No! No!... Pie R round, it's cornbread that R squared!... read more..

I did my nurse's training at a hospital in Liverpool, England. My fellow students and I had little money for meals, so we ate the awful food provided at the hospital complex. We often took our break... read more..

A farmer brought his daughter a pet pig, which she called "Stinky" when it was in her room but she called it "Ballpoint" when it was in the sty."Tell me," he asked her father, "Why do you have two nam... read more..

Why is five o'clock in the morning like a pig's tail?It's twirly.... read more..

Corduroy pillows are making headlines.... read more..

"I can't believe I ate that whole pineapple!" Bill said, dolefully. read more..

A pink elephant is a beast of bourbon.... read more..

The Italian government is considering installing a clock in the Leaning Tower of Pisa. The reason? What good is it to have the inclination if you don't have the time?... read more..

Seen on a plumber's truck:"We repair what your husband fixed. - Don't sleep with a drip."... read more..

In a Podiatrist's office:"Time wounds all heels."... read more..

A backward poet writes inverse.... read more..

Tony Blair is visiting an Edinburgh hospital. He enters a ward full of patients with no obvious sign of injury or illness. He greets the first patient and the patient replies, "Fair fa your honest s... read more..

An English professor was reading Canterbury Tales to his class and noticed that one of his students had fallen asleep. The professor was annoyed enough to send the book spinning through the air and b... read more..

A Congressman is awakened in the middle of the night by his wife who whispers, "I think there's a thief in the house.""Not in the House," her husband says. "Perhaps in the Senate, my dear, but not in... read more..

I took a part time job as an opinion poll sampler. On my very first call, I introduced myself, "Hello, this is a telephone poll."The man replied, "Hello. This is a street lamp."... read more..

A political pollster knocked on the door and a sour-faced lady answered."What party does your husband belong to?" he asked.The lady responded curtly, "I sir, am the party he belongs to."... read more..

Selecting a new Pope, a couple of Popes back, a gentleman from Spain was given weighty consideration. His name was Cardinal Sicola. However the College of Cardinals decided against him in the end. ... read more..

Mary Poppins decides to grow some vegetables one year. When she picks her crop in the Autumn, her carrots, potatoes, onions and spring beans have all failed, but her cauliflowers have grown a treat.S... read more..

One evening, I went with my parents to a fancy restaurant. Dad was about halfway through his meal when he took a hard look at the potato, called the waitress over and said, "This potato is bad!" The w... read more..

In order to move Porto-Potties, will you need a John Derek?... read more..

A young woman went to her priest and asked him if it was all right for her to pray while she knit. The priest seeing a good opportunity to advance the theory of praying without ceasing replied that, ... read more..

There was once a small rural community, so small, in fact, the only church in town is a small Baptist church whose pastor must also double up as the local barber to make ends meet.There happened to be... read more..

Preparing for the most important presentation of his life, a sales rep went to a psychiatrist. "I'll implant a hypnotic suggestion in your mind," said the shrink. "Just say 'one-two-three,' and you'... read more..

A priest rushed from church one day to keep a golf date. He was halfway down the first fairway, waiting to hit his second shot, when he heard the familiar "FORE!" and a ball slammed into his back.Soon... read more..

When a priest makes a mistake in church, it's a clerical error.... read more..

Jimmy was sent to prison for his crimes but he told the warden he wasn't worried at all about serving his full term.The warden asked him why, since most prisoners immediately start planning how they c... read more..

The prison officer tells the warden, “Sir, I have to report that ten prisoners have broken out.”The alarmed warden says, “Blow the whistles, sound the alarms, alert the police.With a surprised look th... read more..

Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to prison. During his stay, he got along well with the guards and all his fellow inmates.The warden knew that, deep down, Andy was a good person. So, the warden m... read more..

THE GANGSTERS by Robin SteeleMY LIFE IN CRIME by Upton O. GoodeBAD MONEY by Count R. FitzYOU ALWAYS GET CAUGHT by Sue Nora Later... read more..

While I was preaching in a church in Mississippi, the pastor announced that their prison quartet would be singing the following evening. I wasn't aware there was a prison in the vicinity and I looked ... read more..