Monthly Archive

I was driving around and around a parking garage in search of an available space. Nothing. Then I noticed a couple walking ahead of me."Going out?" I called to them."No," said the man. "Just friends."... read more..

Just as a surgeon was finishing up an operation the patient wakes up, sits up and demands to know what is going on."I'm about to close," the surgeon says.The patient grabs his hand and says, "Oh, no y... read more..

I was told by payroll that they're going to start garnishing my paycheck. It seems pretty silly, but I guess if they want to start tossing some parsley and currants into the envelope every week, it's ... read more..

If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.... read more..

When the customer started through the grocery checkout line, the bag boy asked, "Paper or plastic?"When the cashier presented the bill, he held out a checkbook and credit card asking, "Paper or plasti... read more..

Two peanuts walk into a bar. One was a salted.... read more..

"A pedestrian is a person who should be seen and not hurt." read more..

"A horse may be coaxed to drink, but a pencil must be lead."- Stan Laurel read more..

Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica - where do they go? Wonder no more!!!It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird which lives an extremely... read more..

What do you call a chiropractor for pets?An animal cracker.... read more..

I call my pet amphibian "Tiny" because he's "my newt." --P. Jackson... read more..

Photons have mass!? I didn't even know they were Catholic.... read more..

I got a package envelope in the mail the other day that had written on the front, "Photographs: Do Not Bend." Underneath the mailman wrote, "Oh, yes they do."... read more..

Q: What did Cinderella say when her holiday snapshots were late?A: "Someday my prints will com."... read more..

After getting a physical from my doctor, I asked, "Well Doc, how do I stand?"The doctor said, "That's what puzzles me."... read more..

I dated a girl in high school who was sweet as pi, but she sure was irrational.... read more..

A man approaches a beautiful woman, and says, "Want a little company?" And the woman says, "Why? Do you have one to sell?"... read more..

There were two Catholic boys, Timothy Murphy and Antonio Secola, whose lives parallel each other in amazing ways. In the same year Timothy was born in Ireland, Antonio was born in Italy.Faithfully the... read more..

Mathematicians are all wrong! They're always talking about "Pi R squared." No! No! No!... Pie R round, it's cornbread that R squared!... read more..

I did my nurse's training at a hospital in Liverpool, England. My fellow students and I had little money for meals, so we ate the awful food provided at the hospital complex. We often took our break... read more..

A farmer brought his daughter a pet pig, which she called "Stinky" when it was in her room but she called it "Ballpoint" when it was in the sty."Tell me," he asked her father, "Why do you have two nam... read more..

Why is five o'clock in the morning like a pig's tail?It's twirly.... read more..

Corduroy pillows are making headlines.... read more..

"I can't believe I ate that whole pineapple!" Bill said, dolefully. read more..

A pink elephant is a beast of bourbon.... read more..

The Italian government is considering installing a clock in the Leaning Tower of Pisa. The reason? What good is it to have the inclination if you don't have the time?... read more..

Seen on a plumber's truck:"We repair what your husband fixed. - Don't sleep with a drip."... read more..

In a Podiatrist's office:"Time wounds all heels."... read more..

A backward poet writes inverse.... read more..

Tony Blair is visiting an Edinburgh hospital. He enters a ward full of patients with no obvious sign of injury or illness. He greets the first patient and the patient replies, "Fair fa your honest s... read more..