Monthly Archive

July 2011

Welcome to our Archives page. On this page you will find a total of 1932 of our articles broken down into Months and Years.
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2065

Prison Library Books

THE GANGSTERS by Robin SteeleMY LIFE IN CRIME by Upton O. GoodeBAD MONEY by Count R. FitzYOU ALWAYS GET CAUGHT by Sue Nora Later... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1711

Prison Quartet

While I was preaching in a church in Mississippi, the pastor announced that their prison quartet would be singing the following evening. I wasn't aware there was a prison in the vicinity and I looked ... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
3002

Promise

“Vowing to avoid poison ivy is making a rash promise.”... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
4907

Proper Attire

Proper attire is required in the cafeteria at the University of Maine. To enforce that rule, the management posted this notice: "Shoes are required to eat in this cafeteria." Next to it, a student add... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1923

Pullover Question

Atlanta State trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-75.He says to the driver, "Got any ID?"The driver says, "Bout what?"... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
4930

Pumping Pun

There was a man at a gas station, pumping gas into his truck. While pumping he got gas on his arm. He wiped some of it off, then forgot about it. He paid for his gas and got in the truck.As he was ... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2147

Pumpkin Math

Q: What do you get if you divide the circumference of your pumpkin by its diameter?A: Pumpkin Pi... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1707

Pun Pun 1

A good pun is its own reword.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2541

Pun Pun 2

The Head of The Church of Humor is the Puntiff.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1678

Punishment

An American history teacher, lecturing the class on the Puritans, asked "What sort of people were punished in the stocks?"To which a small voice from the back of the room responded "The small investor... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1848

Pup Pun

A father gave his teenage daughter an untrained pedigreed pup for her birthday.An hour later, while wandering through the house, he found her looking at a puddle in the center of the kitchen floor. "... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2554

Putting

A teacher was taking her first golf lesson. "Is the word spelled 'put' or 'putt'?" she asked the instructor."'Putt' is correct," he replied."'Put' means to place a thing where you want it. 'Putt' mean... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1795

Quarter Horse

One evening while I was preparing dinner, my daughter came into the kitchen asking for homework help on her vocabulary words. "Mom," she asked, "what's a quarter horse?"As I thought of a simple explan... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
3587

Quarter Pun 1

The British threatened to draw and quarter George Washington if they caught him.Isn't it ironic that Americans drew him on a quarter?... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2471

Quartet Pun 2

While I was preaching in a church in Mississippi, the pastor announced that their prison quartet would be singing the following evening. I wasn't aware there was a prison in the vicinity and I looked... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
6520

Quilt Pun

Sunday after church a mom asked her very young daughter what the lesson was about. The daughter answered, "Don't be scared, you'll get your quilt." Needless to say, the mom was perplexed. Later in the... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
3807

Rabbi Pun

Once upon a time there was a village up in the mountains and in this village lived the Tibet Refugees Isolated from Danger, or TRIDs. Now, the TRIDs of this village had a problem. There was a giant ... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2913

Racetrack

A racetrack is a place where the windows clean the people.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1693

Radio City Music Hall

“There probably aren't many Jewish girls dancing at Radio City Music Hall, but it doesn't take a Rockette Zionist to figure that one out.“~ Gary Hallock... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
4574

Rain Pun

Late one evening, while sitting and looking out their kitchen window somewhere in northern Russia, Rudolf and his wife Tanya were observing the inclement weather."This rain is going to make a mess out... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2039

Raise

Our boss told us that she is planning a salary raise. One of the guys asked, "When does it become effective?"The boss answered, "As soon as you do."... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1728

Raise Request

"I have to have a raise," the man said to his boss. "There are three other companies after me.""Is that so?" asked the manager. "What other companies are after you?""The electric company, the telepho read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2627

Raisin Bran Crime

Two police officers respond to a crime scene behind a grocery store. The homicide detective is already there. "What happened?" asks the first officer. "Male, about twenty-five, covered in Raisin Bran ... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2304

Rancher Pun

A rancher let his cows roam anywhere they wished. He lets the chips fall where they may.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
15176

RaPUNzel

Fair Ladies and Noble Gentlemen:I, RaPUNzel, have a HAIR-raising tale to SHEAR with you written by the Brothers TRIMM.When I was a young CURL, a jealous queen LOCKed me in a tower.I was STRANDed and w... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1786

Rat Presentation

Rodents had overrun a posh private school near New York City. So the headmaster asked a health inspector to deliver a slide presentation to teachers and students, showing how to remedy the situation, ... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2147

Realization Pun

A couple months ago, I entered a contest and ended up winning a few acres of swamp land below the flood plane in Mississippi.Before I knew it, right after that I won a $250,000 house, so naturally I b... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1914

Recession

I'm writing a book about the recession. It starts with Chapter 11.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1688

Recipe

A new young bride calls her mother in tears.She sobs, "Robert doesn't appreciate what I do for him.""Now, now," her mother comforted, "I am sure it was all just a misunderstanding.""No, mother, you do... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1887

Recipe Pun

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.... read more..