Monthly Archive

With all the borscht they consume, I don't understand why Russians aren't the world's greatest rock stars. I mean, everyone knows that the heart of rock and roll is the beet.... read more..

With all the borscht they consume, I don't understand why Russians aren't the world's greatest rock stars.I mean, everyone knows that the heart of rock and roll is the beet.... read more..

Everybody is remaking their oldies hits! - Herman's Hermits - "Mrs. Brown, You've Got A Lovely Walker" - The Bee Gees - "How Can You Mend A Broken Hip" - The Temptations - "Papa's Got A Kidney Stone" ... read more..

The best way to find a screeching rock star is with a Heavy Metal Detector.... read more..

A rock store was closed by the police.They were taking too much for granite.... read more..

A young cowboy asked his father, "Do you think I can make a good living riding wild horses in a rodeo?"His dad replied, "You should get a couple of bucks out of it."... read more..

A girl was visiting her friend who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were.The friend responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.Her friend said, "Whoe... read more..

My friend Judy was working at a Maine costal resort when she answered a call for information about the inn. After finishing the conversation, Judy stepped away from the desk. When the phone rang again... read more..

A minister had just finished an excellent dinner at the home of a congregation member when he saw a rooster come strutting through the yard."That's certainly a proud-looking rooster," the minister com... read more..

Happy New Year everyone! It is my sincere hope and prayer that you have a peace filled and blessed 2004.Here is today's CleanPun.A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. "My dog's cross-eyed, is there... read more..

Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.... read more..

I've done a little searching in FBI files under the Freedom of Information Act. Turns out a few years ago, the Russians were looking to save money, as paying soldiers was getting to be a real dilemma... read more..

Ruth rode upon my motor bike, directly back of me.I hit a bump at 95, and rode on Ruthlessly.... read more..

Don't learn safety rules by accident.... read more..

While the driver is safer when the road is dry, the road is safer when the driver is dry.... read more..

While attending college, I worked evenings at a retail store. On slow nights my co-worker Susan would often sing along with the radio while we did paperwork or restocked merchandise.One evening as th... read more..

Safety is something a lot of people learn by accident.... read more..

We childproofed our home 3 years ago and they're still getting in!... read more..

Who was the smallest man in history?The sailor who went to sleep on his watch.... read more..

Blame Saint Andreas. Its all his fault.... read more..

A sandwich walks into a bar.The barman says, "Sorry we don't serve food in here."... read more..

As ham sandwiches go, it was perfection. A thick slab of ham, a fresh bun, crisp lettuce and plenty of expensive, light brown, gourmet mustard. The corners of my jaw aching in anticipation, I carried ... read more..

“Walking To School The First Day Back” by Misty Bus “The Day the Car Pool Forgot Me” by I. Rhoda Bike “Can't See The Chalkboard” by Sidney Backrow “Practical Jokes I Played On The First Day Of School”... read more..

A scientist, unjustly accused and convicted of a major crime, found himself sentenced to hard time in a prison out in the Arizona desert. His cellmate turned out to be another scientist. Determined to... read more..

A scoutmaster and his wife were driving along a rural highway when they found the road blocked by a herd of cows that had escaped through a broken fence.The scoutmaster tried beeping his horn to scare... read more..

Relief: What a tree does in the spring.... read more..

Sam and Ruth from Maine had just bought a new car when winter hit with all its fury. "I wonder if the car has seat warmers," Ruth wondered. "It sure does," said Sam, looking through the owner's manu... read more..

A group of medical researchers have published data indicating that Seder participants should NOT partake of both chopped liver and Charoses. It seems that this combination can lead to Charoses of the... read more..

At our seder, we had whole wheat and bran matzoh fortified with Metamucil. The brand name is..."Let my people go."... read more..

One afternoon The Sea rolled into the office of Dr. Alfred Werner, clinical psychologist.The doctor smiled; he hadn't seen his old friend in ages. "Well, well! Long time no sea! How are you doing?" "S... read more..