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Monthly Archive

2011

Welcome to our Archives page. On this page you will find a total of 3787 of our articles broken down into Months and Years.
Quotes
Pastor Tim
1237

Quote #1229

"Promises are like babies: Fun to make but hard to deliver." read more..

Cybersalt News
Pastor Tim
888

Cybersalt News - November 30, 2011

I am happy to report I have found a way to reactivate the Random Joke Page on the Cybersalt site. You'll find it at:www.cybersalt.org/clean-jokes/random-jokes Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.... read more..

Illustrations
Pastor Tim
1383

Dog's Life Complaint

A woman told a marriage counselor that her husband's complaint that he leads a dog's life is probably well founded. "He comes in the house with muddy feet," she said, "tracks across my clean floors, ... read more..

Pearly Gates Jokes
Pastor Tim
4312

Lucky, The Guide Dog

"We will not have him put down. Lucky is basically a darn good guide dog," Ernst Gerber, a dog trainer from Wuppertal told reporters. "He just needs a little brush-up on some elementary skills, t read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
6535

Favorite Candy

Our phone rang late one night, and my wife Nancy picked it up. She said, "KitKat," and hung up. "Who was that?" "Some boy for Carolyn," she said, referring to our daughter. "What now?" I asked. "H... read more..

Quotes
Pastor Tim
1109

Quote #1228

"You know you're old if you can remember when bacon, eggs and sunshine were good for you." read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1296

One-liner #0775

People at my workplace have started a funny new tradition where they put names on food in the office fridge - today I ate sandwich called Mark.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
5330

Captain Kirk Ears

Q: How many ears does Captain Kirk of Star Trek have? A: Three: the left ear, the right ear, and the final front ear.... read more..

Cybersalt News
Pastor Tim
989

Cybersalt News - November 29, 2011

As we approach Christmas, keep in mind that some of your short term festivity may have long term consequences - as you can imagine in "The Cat's Christmas Revenge" at:www.cybersalt.org/funny-christmas... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3338

Marry An Actor

An aspiring young actor asked a young lady's father if he could have his daughter's hand in marriage. The father said, "I would never let my daughter marry an actor." The actor said, "Sir, I think yo... read more..

Illustrations
Pastor Tim
1396

The Oyster

"The Oyster" There once was an oyster Whose story I tell Who found that some sand Had got into his shell. It was only a grain but it gave him great pain. For oysters have feelings Although they're s read more..

Quotes
Pastor Tim
1175

Quote #1227

"I like Christmas presents, Christmas music, Christmas trees, Christmas cards. I like the Christmas spirit. What I don’t like is the way people, whose only interest in Christmas is money, have moved i read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2185

Holiday Overeating

"He ate so much over the holidays that he decided to quit cold turkey." read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1346

One-liner #0774

"Half the people you know are below average." read more..

Simply Susan
Susan Davis
7801

Grief

Those of you who get the Cybersalt Digest regularly already know that my Mom died November 12th. My thoughts have been fragmented and scattered, so today I’ll just tell you about that day and save my ... read more..

Cybersalt News
Pastor Tim
912

Cybersalt News - November 28, 2011

I know many of you had a very busy, long, and food-filled weekend so please pay attention because I don't want to have to pepperspray anyone - AGAIN! It's a drag to be back at work but try ... read more..

Illustrations
Pastor Tim
1658

Portrait of a Friend

"Portrait of a Friend" I can't give solutions to all of life's problems, doubts, or fears. But I can listen to you, and together we will search for answers. I can't change your past with all it's he read more..

Pearly Gates Jokes
Pastor Tim
1970

Holiday Restaurant

I almost got thrown out of my sister-in-law's house one year at the holidays. I told them that I was thinking of opening a restaurant (I did this with a straight face, so they thought I was serious). ... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1357

One-liner #0773

"Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back." read more..

Quotes
Pastor Tim
1346

Quote #1226

"The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when he discovers that someo read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2886

The War of the Navels

The War of the Navels People have navels of different kinds,Ineys and outeys, to that we're resigned;And so it has happened as it has before,The difference became a reason for war. Each side said th... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1832

Pork Delivery

A German farmer with relatives in the US sent them a package consisting of some pork sausages made from his old pig. When they complained that the package had not yet arrived, he wrote: "C... read more..

Christmas
Pastor Tim
1056

The Calling of the Favored

If God calls you to something you can be sure you have His favor - even if you wonder what His call means or how it could ever come true. Listen Online:{audio}podcast/sm20111127.mp3{/audio}... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
5595

How Does This Work?

Bob was on vacation, visiting a Las Vegas casino for the first time. He decided to play the slots. Since he wasn't sure how to play a slot machine, he called an attendant over. "Excuse me," Bob said... read more..

Illustrations
Pastor Tim
1473

Move Your Mind Forward

Whatever you dwell upon in your mind, you give power to. So of course it makes sense to focus on what you want rather than what you don't want. Yet there are many ways in which the things you don't wa... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1329

One-liner #0772

"I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize." read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2059

Salary Increase

Our boss told us that she is planning a salary raise. One of the guys asked, "When does it become effective?" The boss answered, "As soon as you do."... read more..

Quotes
Pastor Tim
1042

Quote #1225

"Man does not live by a turkey in every oven or a color TV set in every home. Man lives by faith and hope and love, by the star on the horizon, by the trumpet that will not call retreat read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1682

Daycare Police

"Breaking News at the Daycare: Police called to deal with a three-year-old who was resisting a rest." read more..

Funny Pictures
Pastor Tim
26419

Smiling At Work Is Easy

Are you stuck in a miserable job but your boss expects (perhaps demands) that you always smile at work? Here's a cheap, easy, and simple solution guaranteed to put a smile on your face. Step One: Co... read more..

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