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Monthly Archive

May 2004

Welcome to our Archives page. On this page you will find a total of 36 of our articles broken down into Months and Years.
Melva's Devotions
Pastor Tim
5171

It Is Well With Your Soul

"?I know that it is well with your soul."III John:2 (RSV) Opening my eyes, I looked at the clock by my bed. It read 4:00 a.m. In that early morning hour my spirit was singing the well-loved hymn, "It read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2288

Newlywed Repairs

A man came home from the office and found his new bride sobbing convulsively. "I feel terrible," she told him. "I was pressing your suit and I burned a big hole in the seat of your trousers.""Oh, ju... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4189

Television Bloopers - British Style

"Liz Taylor is recovering in hospital after having had a benign tuna removed from just behind her right ear." Capital Radio Peter Snow: "In a sense, Deng Xiaoping's death was ine read more..

Laughable
Pastor Tim
5445

Are You Bill Gates' Pastor?

A list member, who recently asked for instructions on how to manage her Cybersalt list subscriptions recently sent me this very humorous response to the detailed instructions I sent her.  Please ... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2686

Mental Test

A noted psychiatrist was a guest at a gathering of humor editors, and his host naturally broached the subject in which the doctor was most at ease. "Would you mind telling me, Doctor," he asked, "how... read more..

Barb's Mantle
Pastor Tim
3911

Become As A Little Child

Watching my grandchildren on the playground, I began to register the actions of the children playing. There were little ones ranging from age one to about age ten. They all seemed to be having a great... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2420

Grandma and God

My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?"I mentally polished my halo while I asked, "No, how are we alike?""You're both old," he replied.... read more..

Dr. Harold McNabb
Dr. Harold McNabb
12452

The Hope, The Blessing And The Power

Luke 24:44-53 Ephesians 1:15-23 When we come back from visiting interesting places, most of us bring  gifts and souvenirs which we then give to family and friends. I know because whenever we go... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2717

Getting Younger

Old Sam Johnson goes to his doctor complaining of aches and pains all over his body. After a thorough examination, the doctor gives him a clean bill of health."Sam, you're in excellent shape for an 8... read more..

Peggie's Den
Pastor Tim
3569

Memories...the Corners of My Mind!

Down the Path to the Well--a thought to remember along the way. Brains...we've all got them, believe it or not--and scientists allege that we use but 10 percent of their capacity! Now I am not a m... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2284

Looking For Mike

After directory assistance gave Glenda her boyfriend's new telephone number, she dialed him - and got a woman."Is Mike there?" Glenda asked."He's in the shower," she responded."Please tell him his gir... read more..

Peggie's Den
Pastor Tim
3817

Remember Me!

A Hurting Word... Memorial Day USA--backyard picnics, Main Street parades, and back to work the next day! A passing reprieve in the busy schedule of life--the significance of the day almost outdone ... read more..

Hall of Flames
Pastor Tim
7007

What's Your Religion?

In response to following joke on the PearlyGates list (which features clean, theologically incorrect jokes) I received the flame immediately after it – after which I have included my reply. &nbs... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
6419

Ugly Baby

A woman got on a bus holding a baby.  The bus driver said, "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen." In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2687

Plane Pontoons

Tiring of the inconvenience of the drive from airport to country cottage, a man equipped his small plane with pontoons so he could land on the lake directly in front of his cottage.On his next trip, h... read more..

Sandra Boyte
Pastor Tim
5764

Behold

Behold the buzzing of the bee As it flits from bough to bud Its entire being testifies To the wonder of God's love.   Behold the singing of the lark As it soars up in the sky It joyfully r... read more..

Peggie's Den
Pastor Tim
4379

Help! I'm On Overload

No, it's not the dryer you've overloaded, nor the computer your husband's overloaded; it's not the travel bag that's full to capacity, nor the tummy that's yielded to too much ice cream....it's YOU...... read more..

The Spur
Pastor Tim
3931

Just a Little Weed

{mosimage}It began slowly, a small patch of weed on the edge of the Sepik River in Papua New Guinea. Able to double its mass within a few days, the plant, called salvinia molesta, spread rapidly. Vi read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4787

The FBI Orders Pizza

FBI agents conducted a raid of a psychiatric hospital in San Diego that was under investigation for medical insurance fraud.  After hours of reviewing thousands of medical records, the dozens... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2371

Sleeping Juror

A lawyer was well into a lengthy cross-examination when he stopped and said: "Your honor, a juror is asleep."The judge ruled: "You put him to sleep; you wake him up."... read more..

Sandra Boyte
Pastor Tim
4718

His Touch

One touch of Your hands And the blind can see One touch of Your hands And the prisoner is free With just one touch You calm the sea Reach out, Dear Lord Touch me.One touch of Your hands And t... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2274

Changing Plates

My friend called his car insurance company to tell them to change his address from Texas to Vermont. The woman who took the call asked where Vermont was.As he tried to explain, she interrupted and sa... read more..

Missions
Pastor Tim
6137

Indonesian Seminary Directory and Student Martyred

(Note from Pastor Tim:  I met Septer Sanabuky - pictured on the right with his wife - when he and a group of singers from Indonesia ministered at our church in February of 2000.  I have fo read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2440

Quantum Date

Every Friday after work, a mathematician goes down to the Ice Cream Parlor, sits in the second-to-last seat, turns to the last seat, which is empty, and asks a girl, who isn't there, if he can buy her... read more..

Dr. Harold McNabb
Dr. Harold McNabb
24388

Our God is Not A Distant God

"Our God is not a distant God" Hosea 1:1-11 In our recent visit to the Grand Canyon we found various view points with views of the Colorado River nearly a mile below the rim. The river looks like a read more..

Dr. Harold McNabb
Dr. Harold McNabb
4847

"The Lord of the Redeemed"

"The Lord of the Redeemed" Hosea 11:1-11 In one of the BC comic strips, there are two ants; a big ant and a little ant. Little ant: "Dad, what mysterious force keeps me from being flung off into o read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2406

Carry A Flashlight

A New York boy was being led through the swamps of Louisiana by his cousin."Is it true that an alligator won't attack you if you carry a flashlight?"The cousin smirked and replied, "Depends on how fas... read more..

Missions
Pastor Tim
13961

The Medicine of Laughter: Spurgeon?s Humor

Some years ago there was a documented case in the British Medical Journal about a man who laughed himself well. He actually had a terminal illness, and through the employment of laughter therapy, he read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2845

How Did You Get Me?

A speeding motorist was caught by radar from a police helicopter in the sky. An officer pulled him over and began to issue a traffic ticket."It seems everyone is out to get me lately. How did you kn... read more..

Guest Authors
Pastor Tim
7080

Is the Sinner's Prayer Effective?

Dear Friend, Usually I start my letter to you talking about an Ambassador skill that enables you to be knowledgeable, winsome, and present wisdom effectively. Here is the twist. Over the years I've b... read more..

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