In an upscale pet-supply store, a customer wanted to buy a yellow sweater for her dog. The clerk suggested that she bring her dog in for a proper fit. "I can't do that!" the lady said. "The sweater is going to be a surprise!"

Now here's one for all you combat veterans, corporate bureaucrats, folks in the marketplace and those with "emotionally challenged" relationships. Notice that the rules are generally transferable from one to the other and that the consequences are roughly…