Cybersalt News
Oh look, Chicken Thursday on Christmas Day!
Susan and I wish you and your loved ones a blessed Christmas! Whether this is a time of great happiness, great difficulty, or a mixture of both, we pray that the love and light of Jesus will shine upon and in your hearts as we celebrate the birth of Jesus - God come to be with us so He could make a way for us to be with Him.
Enjoy the rest of today's Digest.
~ Pastor Tim
Santa a Guy?
I think Santa Claus is a woman....
I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I believe he's a she.
Think about it. Christmas is a big, organized, warm, fuzzy, nurturing social deal, and I have a tough time believing a guy could possibly pull it all off!
For starters, the vast majority of men don't even think about selecting gifts until Christmas Eve. It's as if they are all frozen in some kind of Ebenezerian Time Warp until 3 p.m. on Dec. 24th, when they--with amazing calm--call other errant men and plan for a last-minute shopping spree.
Once at the mall, they always seem surprised to find only Ronco products, socket wrench sets, and mood rings left on the shelves. (You might think this would send them into a fit of panic and guilt, but my husband tells me it's an enormous relief because it lessens the 11th hour decision-making burden.) On this count alone, I'm convinced Santa is a woman.
Surely, if he were a man, everyone in the universe would wake up Christmas morning to find a rotating musical Chia Pet under the tree, still in the bag.
Another problem for a he-Santa would be getting there. First of all, there would be no reindeer because they would all be dead, gutted, and strapped on to the rear bumper of the sleigh, amid wide-eyed, desperate claims that buck season had been extended. Blitzen's rack would already be on the way to the taxidermist.
Even if the male Santa DID have reindeer, he'd still have transportation problems because he would inevitably get lost up there in the snow and clouds and then refuse to stop and ask for directions.
Add to this the fact that there would be unavoidable delays in the chimney, where the Bob Vila-like Santa would stop to inspect and repoint bricks in the flue. He would also need to check for carbon monoxide fumes in every gas fireplace, and get under every Christmas tree that is crooked to straighten it to a perfectly upright 90-degree angle.
Other reasons why Santa can't possibly be a man:
~ Men can't pack a bag.
~ Men would rather be dead than caught wearing red velvet.
~ Men would feel their masculinity is threatened, having to be seen with all those elves.
~ Men don't answer their mail.
~ Men would refuse to allow their physique to be described even in jest as anything remotely resembling a "bowlful of jelly."
~ Men aren't interested in stockings unless somebody's wearing them.
~ Finally, being responsible for Christmas would require a commitment.
I can buy the fact that other mythical holiday characters are men. Father Time shows up once a year unshaven and looking ominous. Definite guy. Cupid flies around carrying weapons. Uncle Sam is a politician who likes to point fingers. Any one of these individuals could pass the testosterone screening test. But not St. Nick.
Not a chance.
- Unknown
One-Liner #1986
Paleontologists recently unearthed the largest tibia ever recorded ...
It was quite the shindig.
The Ultimate Cold Call
Someone just called my phone, sneezed and then hung up. I'm getting sick and tired of these cold calls.
Quote #2422
“But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people.”
- Luke 2:10
At Christmas
A man is at his finest
towards the finish of the year;
He is almost what he should be
when the Christmas season is here;
Then he's thinking more of others
than he's thought the months before,
And the laughter of his children
is a joy worth toiling for.
He is less a selfish creature than
at any other time;
When the Christmas spirit rules him
he comes close to the sublime.
When it's Christmas man is bigger
and is better in his part;
He is keener for the service
that is prompted by the heart.
All the petty thoughts and narrow
seem to vanish for a while
And the true reward he's seeking
is the glory of a smile.
Then for others he is toiling and
somehow it seems to me
That at Christmas he is almost
what God wanted him to be.
If I had to paint a picture of a man
I think I'd wait
Till he'd fought his selfish battles
and had put aside his hate.
I'd not catch him at his labors
when his thoughts are all of self,
On the long days and the dreary
when he's striving for himself.
I'd not take him when he's sneering,
when he's scornful or depressed,
But I'd look for him at Christmas
when he's shining at his best.
Man is ever in a struggle
and he's oft misunderstood;
There are days the worst that's in him
is the master of the good,
But at Christmas kindness rules him
and he puts himself aside
And his petty hates are vanquished
and his heart is opened wide.
Oh, I don't know how to say it,
but somehow it seems to me
That at Christmas man is almost
what God sent him here to be.
from Collected Verse of Edgar Guest
NY: Buccaneer Books, 1976, pg. 239
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Susan Page writes . . . .
O Holy Night
“O holy night! The stars are brightly shining; it is the night of our dear Saviour’s birth. Long lay the world in sin and error pining, till He appeared and the soul felt its worth.”
It’s hard to imagine that these lyrics were written in 1847, and yet, they have survived the test of time. The relevance of this beautiful Christmas carol reaches deep, touching the soul.
As the words, “A thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices, for yonder breaks a new and glorious morn,” run through my mind, emotions erupt, and tears flow. The significance behind these lyrics sinks into the core of my being. This has always been one of my favourite Christmas carols, but each year it takes on a whole new meaning.
Read moreThe Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
My ducks may not be in a row, but at least they're having fun; your ducks probably hate you for making them line up like that.
“Jesus Christ became Incarnate for one purpose, to make a way back to God that man might stand before Him as He was created to do, the friend and lover of God Himself.”
To your enemy, forgiveness.
Christmas is my favorite holiday. A time of celebration and enjoying family time together.
On the 12th day of the Eurocentrically-imposed midwinter festival, my potential acquaintance gave to me,
Choose a major you love and you'll never work a day in your life ... because that field isn't hiring.
Santa had a bit of an accident while playing golf today. His ball hit a bird on the second hole.
“Christmas celebrates the awesome and amazing fact that God is grander, wiser and more mysterious than we could have ever imagined.”
It's said that Abraham Lincoln once sized up the case of a prospective client as follows:
As flocks of birds by instinct gather
1. You'd never be expected to make the coffee.
According to my chocolate Advent calendar, there are only 3 days until Christmas.
There are eleven types of people in the world ...
"If you can only make Christmas exciting with material things, how will the children get a thirst for God? Bend the efforts of your imagination to make the wonder of the King's arrival visible for the children."
Two women who were having lunch in an elegant hotel were approached by a mutual friend who asked the occasion for the meal.
The similarities between Santa and System Admins:
My husband just fixed all of my anxiety... He said, "Just don't worry about it" and I can't believe I didn't think of that myself.
Friends who eat together are taste buds.
"'Is not my word like fire, say the Lord!' Gather 'round that fire this Advent season. It is warm. It is sparkling with colors of grace. It is healing for a thousand hurts. It is light for dark nights."
A pastor attended a men's breakfast in the middle of a rural farming area of the country.
Like everyone, I enjoy the Christmas holiday from beginning to end. It's my favorite time of the year. The most important thing is the family gathering in the celebration.