Cybersalt News
Sunday greetings everyone!
Grandma Cybersalt and I are on the road this weekend. Yesterday we attended a piano recital that a granddaughter and grandson were playing in, and today we are at a Highland Dance recital that that same granddaughter is dancing in.
Enjoy the rest of today's Digest.
~ Pastor Tim
Christmas Postage
A woman went to the Post Office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards.
"What denomination?" asked the clerk.
"Oh, good heavens! Have we come to this?" said the woman.
"Well give me 50 Baptist and 50 Catholic."
One-Liner #1981
Holiday Safety Tip:
If your birth year starts with 19, you should no longer wrap gifts on the floor.
A Royal Riddle
If a king sleeps on a kin-sized bed and a queen sleeps on a queen-sized bed, where does a prince sleep?
On an heir mattress.
Quote #2417
"Once in our world, a stable had something in it that was bigger than our whole world."
- C. S. Lewis
You Stink!
It was a particularly tough football game, and nerves were on edge. The home team had been the victim of three or four close calls, and they were now trailing the visitors by a touchdown and a field goal. When the official called yet another close one in the visitors' favor, the home quarterback blew his top.
"How many times can you do this to us in a single game?" he screamed. "You were wrong on the out-of-bounds call, you were wrong on that last holding call, and you failed to say anything about a late hit in the first quarter."
The official just stared.
The quarterback seethed, but he tried to suppress language that might get him tossed out of the game.
"What it comes down to," he bellowed, "is that YOU STINK!"
The official stared a few more seconds. Then he bent down, picked up the ball, paced off 15 yards, and put the ball down. He turned to face the steaming quarterback.
"And how do I smell from here?" he asked.
There are so many times when it is hard to "bite the tongue" and say nothing. The urge to say "something" seems so overpowering that the words sometimes erupt before we have a chance to think them through.
Unfortunately, those words have consequences. The minor offenses result in 15-yard penalties. The more serious offenses result in years of regret and heartache, or perhaps broken relationships that take years to rebuild.
No wonder James had such strong words of praise concerning the person who is always able to control what he says (James 3:2).
"He who has knowledge spares his words, and a man of understanding is of a calm spirit. Even a fool is counted wise when he holds his peace; When he shuts his lips, he is considered perceptive." (Prov. 17:27-28)
May your words today be few, calm, and carefully thought out.
- Author Unknown
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . .
Did I Really Just Say That?
As far back as I can remember, I wanted to be a writer. My maternal grandmother wrote poems and would read one at the family gathering. I don't know if that's where I got it, but I got it.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
10. Anne of Avonlea/Anne of Green Gables Collectors Edition with 74 minutes of extra footage
Not saying I'm old, but ... When I was in school, we made our parents ashtrays for Christmas.
Yesterday I spotted an albino Dalmatian. It was the least I could do for him.
"Christmas is an indictment before it becomes a delight. It will not have its intended effect until we feel desperately the need for a Savior."
Dewey had collected lots of money from doing chores and he went to the candy store to buy some chocolate.
At church one Sunday Joe asked the pastor, "Would you pray for my hearing."
I dance like people wish they weren't watching.
Will an underperforming scuba diver with chickenpox ever come up to scratch?
"Sometimes faith will make you look stupid ... until it starts to rain."
This morning, on my way to work, I found myself behind a car with a handwritten sign taped to the back window:
What I enjoy the most about holidays is the “eating frenzy.” It gives me opportunity to get away with a lot behind The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage’s back, which is a great challenge. I’m not always successful, but I try and I have my family to thank for that.
And after all is said and done...the kitchen cleaned up, the football game is over, the kids have FINALLY gone to bed and you lie quietly thinking about your day... your tummy starts to rumble...
I dropped a can of Thanksgiving fruit on top of my bare foot. Now I cranberry walk.
Kurt Vonnegut, American author, satirist, and humanist known for his darkly humorous and influential novels wrote:
My daughter's third-grade teacher had assigned the children to write a story titled "My Biggest Surprise."
I just found out I'm colorblind; the diagnosis came completely out of the purple.
Someone tried to sell me a coffin today.
"Being a Christian is less about cautiously avoiding sin than about courageously and actively doing God's will."
Thought I'd let my doctor check me,
This past week, I thought of my maternal grandfather. I haven't thought of him for a long time because he died over 50 years ago. I'm not sure what inspired me to think about my old grandpa.