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Cybersalt News
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
The big news, figuratively and literally, around Cybersalt World Headquarters is Grandma Cybersalt have a new grandson!
Isaac Timothy Driver was born at 1:16pm, weighing in at an even 10 pounds!
His mother, father and proud big sister are all doing fine.
That's right, 10 pounds, which is great because it won't be long before he and I can share clothes!
In other news, I just discovered that Sunday's mailing did not go out. I guess I'm ready for this Sunday already!
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.
~ Pastor Tim
Office Dog
A salesman dropped in to see a business customer. Not a soul was in the office except a big dog emptying wastebaskets. The salesman stared at the animal, wondering if his imagination could be playing tricks on him.
The dog looked up and said, "Don't be surprised. This is just part of my job."
"Incredible!" exclaimed the man. "I can't believe it! Does your boss know what a prize he has in you? An animal that can talk!"
"No, no," pleaded the dog. "Please don't! If that man finds out I can talk, he'll have me answering the phone too!"
One-Liner #1580
I'm the type of wife that will help my husband look for his chocolate, that I ate.
"Be a Billionaire!"
and Help
Refugees and
Persecuted Christians
Paying Through the Nose
Drug research companies have created their own cold rush.
Quote #2017
"One of the positive features of a season of liminality is that it provides a pause that lets what has to belong in the past to be left in the past, so that the future can come can as it must and bloom without what is no more."
- Y. Knott
A Survivor
"I've had laryngitis, tonsillitis, hepatitis, meningitis, appendicitis, tendinitis, and colitis. I've also suffered from gastritis, bronchitis, gingivitis, bursitis, and arthritis.
"I've been held up, held down, hung up, strung up, stood-up, bulldozed, bloody-nosed, blackjacked, hijacked, squeezed, frisked, and mooched. Stuck with excess profits tax, personal property tax, utility tax, inheritance tax, sales tax, school tax, gasoline tax, income tax, excise tax, surtax, liberty bonds, savings bonds, a couple of bail bonds, and the bonds of matrimony.
"I've helped the Red Cross, the White Cross, and often been double-crossed. Helped the Girl Scouts, Boy Scouts, and a few Talent Scouts. Helped children's hospitals, mental hospitals, VA hospitals, spoke out for civil rights, women's rights, animal rights, men's relief, and stomach relief.
"I have worked for a dog, and worked like a dog, and still lost all I had. I've been set aside, pushed aside, hit broadside, and had to sit outside. Demoted and misquoted. Walked on, jumped on, dumped on, rained on, snowed on, stomped on, spit on, cut on, and ratted on.
"I've been put off, ran off, and ripped off. Intimidated, interrogated, berated, separated, and violated. I've been cussed, and discussed, boycotted, stunned, shunned, and shocked. Criticized, despised, ostracized, victimized, brutalized, capsized, analyzed, and ill-advised. Slapped, trapped, and wire-tapped. I've been used, abused, bruised, refused, confused, but never excused. Talked about, lied about, lied to, bawled out, chewed out, kicked out, knocked out, but never bailed out.
"I've been assailed, derailed, and blackmailed. Scammed, slammed, burned, stung, stoned, robbed, cheated, booed, sued, misconstrued, and almost drowned.
"And the only reason I'm sticking around is...???
"I just want to see what's gonna happen next!"
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
A woman walks into a convenience store. She walks straight to the manager and asks, "Do you have any small note- books?"
My going out clothes have missed me so much; I put them on yesterday and they hugged me so tightly I couldn't move!
What's made of leather and sounds like a sneeze?
My brother wants me to find him a summer job.
If the saying, "The best things in life are free" is true, kindness has to be one of the best things in life.
A mother asked her small son what he would like for his birthday.
When a teenager is watching TV, listening to her music, and talking on the phone, she is probably doing her homework.
One time we were driving through a construction zone and the sign said, SPEED LIMIT 35mph AHEAD.
Before I could start my first job right out of college, I had to present evidence that I was a U.S. citizen. I showed up with my driver's license and birth certificate. The clerk looked at my driver's license and copied down some information.
Did you ever have a week when it felt like something was missing, but you didn't quite know what it was?
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
- You've read the entire Dilbert page-a-day calendar for 2021
“I think it’s wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.”
The student asked the professor how many problems there would be on the final exam.
One day while shopping, my chatter bug daughter who was three at the time introduced herself to the lady behind us at the check out.
A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo. Knowing that he could hop high, the zoo officials put up a ten-foot fence. He was out the next morning, just sauntering around the zoo. A twenty-foot fence was put up. Again he go out.
Behind every successful working woman is an enormous pile of laundry!
I have always appreciated shortcuts in life. If I can find a shortcut, I will take it because time is valuable to me. I take pride in coming up with a shortcut that actually saves me time. However, not all of my shortcuts have really been that short and I have paid the price.
A woman was waiting at an airport one night.