Entertainment

My job as a land surveyor took me to a golf course that was expanding from 9 holes to 18 holes.

Using a machete to clear thick brush in an area I was mapping, I came upon a golf club that an irate player must have tossed away. It was in good condition, so I picked it up and continued on.

When I broke out of the brush onto a putting green, two golfers stared at me in awe. I had a machete in one hand, a golf club in the other, and behind me was a clear-cut swath leading out of the woods.

"There," said one of the golfers, "is a guy who hates to lose his ball!"

There are some internet companies (listed at the end of this page) that will not deliver our e-mail to their clients.

Why?

One reason is their spam filters. We don't send spam. We don't add e-mail addresses without a request, and we don't sell our subscribers' addresses either. But sometimes those pesky spam filters mistakenly think our mail is unsolicited. We've tried to contact these companies without any success. For the most part, we've never even heard back from our inquiries to sort things out.

Another reason we get blocked is because sometimes someone reports our mail as spam instead of using our simple unsubscribe system (there is a link to it at the end of every mailing we send out). I guess it's easier to complain sometimes than to simply read how to unsubscribe from something you signed up for. Again, when this happens we try to contact the blocking company

So, if your e-mail is with any of the following companies, there are basicaly two things you can do to try to get our e-mail delivered to you. First, you can try contacting your support department and asking them to "whitelist" mail from Pastor Tim's address ([email protected]). The other sure way to get our mail is to sign up for a free e-mail address - like those offered by www.christian.net, www.hotmail.com, www.yahoo.com, or others - and sign up with that address.

These companies are not delivering our mail to their customers:

nipcsecuremail.com
gbr.pl
sify.com
sancharnet.in
sify.com
ingdirect.com
satyam.net.in

Here are some of our favorite and most entertaining reasons people have given for unsubscribing from some or all of our lists.

• "You are retarded." - Jenny

• "not send something everyday, because it takes up space and is kinda annoying. also if you were funny too. that may help." - funke_sheena

• "dont want anything to do with religon" - midnightlove_au

• "to shallow" - jdoon

•  "The congregation just doesn't find the jokes that funny. I'm sorry." - dramadr 

• "you suck" - cardinals_center_66

A bounce is a system message that is returned with information about why an e-mail could not be delivered.

Bounces matching the following rules result in the bouncing e-mail address being deleted from our system.

• Rule #5 - Any one of a number of servers returns a string containing "mailbox unavailable" (see http://www.pobox.com/bounce-common.mhtml)
• Rule #8 - Any one of a number of servers returns a string containing "no such user"
• Rule #13 - A Yahoo.com server returns a string containing "This user doesn't have a sbcglobal.net account"
• Rule #41 - Any one of a number of servers returns a string containing "no mailbox here by that name"
• Rule #42 - A Yahoo.com server returns a string containing "Doesn't have a yahoo.*"
• Rule #45 - A Yahoo.com server returns a string containing "User unknown in virtual alias table"
• Rule #47 - Any one of a number of servers returns a string containing "user unknown" (see http://www.pobox.com/bounce-common.mhtml)  
• Rule #49 - A Yahoo.com server returns a string containing "This account has been disabled or discontinued"
• Rule #55 - An sbcglobal.net or pacbell.net server returns a string containing "Adressee Unknown"
• Rule #61 - Any one of a number of servers returns string containing "Invalid recipient" 
• Rule #74 - Any one of a number of servers returns a string containing "no mailbox here by that name"
• Rule #76 - A juno.com or netzero.com server returns a string containing "Account Inactive"
• Rule #77 - Any one of a number of servers returns string containing "Inactive User"
• Rule #78 - Any one of a number of servers returns a string containing "501 #5.1.1 bad address" 
• Rule #104 - Any one of a number of servers returns a string containing "Bad destination mailbox address" 
• Rule #119 - Any one of a number of servers returns a string containing "recipient no longer on server"  
• Rule #165 - A Yahoo.ca server returns a string containing "Doesn't have a yahoo.ca account."
• Rule #167 - Any one of a number of servers returns a string containing "unknown .* user" "
• Rule #168 - A Yahoo.co.uk server returns a string containing "This user doesn't have a yahoo.co.uk account"
• Rule #169 - A wacad.edu server returns a string containing "Rule #168 - A Yahoo.co.uk server returns a string containing "Not a wacad user"
• Rule #191 - Any one of a number of servers returns a string containing "551 not our customer"
• Rule #193 - Any one of a number of servers returns a string containing "No account by that name here"
• Rule #195 - A btinternet.com server returns a string containing "This user doesn't have a btinternet.com account"
• Rule #198 - Any server returns a string containing "The specified user does not exist on our system"
• Rule #199 - Any server returns a string containing "no such mailbox"
• Rule #200 - Any server returns a string containing "no valid recipients"
• Rule #201 - Any server returns a string containing "that user does not exist here"
• Rule #202 - Any server returns a string containing "Recipient Rejected: Account Suspended"
• Rule #203 - Any server returns a string containing "Unknown address error 550-'5.1.1 unknown or illegal alias"
• Rule #204 - Any server returns a string containing "recipient account suspended"
• Rule #205 - Any server returns a string containing "550 account expired"
• Rule #208 - A rediffmail.com server returns a string containing "rediffmail.com .* your envelope sender is in my badmailfrom list"
• Rule #209 - Any server returns a string containing "mail to that recipient is not accepted on this system"
• Rule #210 - Any server returns a string containing "user does not exist"
• Rule #211 - Any server returns a string containing "550 Administrative prohibition - unable to validate recipient"
• Rule #212 - Any server returns a string containing "User .* not listed in Domino"
• Rule #213 - Any server returns a string containing "550 .* recipient rejected"