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Entertainment

Class Reunions

Details
Published: 08 October 2005

Every ten years, as summertime nears,

An announcement arrives in the mail,

A reunion is planned; it'll be really grand;

Make plans to attend without fail.

I'll never forget the first time we met;

We tried so hard to impress.

We drove fancy cars, smoked big cigars,

And wore our most elegant dress.

It was quite an affair; the whole class was there.

It was held at a fancy hotel.

We wined, and we dined, and we acted refined,

And everyone thought it was swell.

The men all conversed about who had been first

To achieve great fortune and fame.

Meanwhile, their spouses described their fine houses

And how beautiful their children became.

The homecoming queen, who once had been lean,

Now weighed in at one-ninety-six.

The jocks who were there had all lost their hair,

And the cheerleaders could no longer do kicks.

No one had heard about the class nerd

Who'd guided a spacecraft to the moon;

Or poor little Jane, who's always been plain;

She married a shipping tycoon.

The boy we'd decreed "most apt to succeed"

Was serving ten years in the pen,

While the one voted "least" now was a priest;

Just shows you can be wrong now and then.

They awarded a prize to one of the guys

Who seemed to have aged the least.

Another was given to the grad who had driven

The farthest to attend the feast.

They took a class picture, a curious mixture

Of beehives, crew cuts and wide ties.

Tall, short, or skinny, the style was the mini;

You never saw so many thighs.

At our next get-together, no one cared whether

They impressed their classmates or not.

The mood was informal, a whole lot more normal;

By this time we'd all gone to pot.

It was held out-of-doors, at the lake shores;

We ate hamburgers, coleslaw, and beans.

Then most of us lay around in the shade,

In our comfortable T-shirts and jeans.

By the fortieth year, it was abundantly clear,

We were definitely over the hill.

Those who weren't dead had to crawl out of bed,

And be home in time for their pill.

And now I can't wait as they've set the date;

Our sixtieth is coming, I'm told.

It should be a ball, they've rented a hall

At the Shady Rest Home for the old.

Repairs have been made on my old hearing aid;

My pacemaker's been turned up on high.

My wheelchair is oiled, and my teeth have been boiled;

And I've bought a new wig and glass eye.

I'm feeling quite hearty; I'm ready to party,

I'll dance until dawn's early light.

It'll be lots of fun; and I hope at least one

Other person can make it that night.

Author Unknown

Last Updated: 13 July 2011

That's the Way . . .

Details
Published: 07 October 2005

Start with a cage containing five apes.

In the cage, hang a banana on a string and put stairs under it. Before long, an ape will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the apes with cold water.

After a while, another ape makes an attempt with the same result - all the apes are sprayed with cold water. This continues through several more attempts. Pretty soon, when another ape tries to climb the stairs, the other apes all try to prevent it.

Now, turn off the cold water. Remove one ape from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new ape sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs. To his horror, all of the other apes attack him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted.

Next, remove another of the original five apes and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm. Again, replace a third original ape with a new one. The new one makes it to the stairs and is attacked as well. Two of the four apes that beat him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs, or why they are participating in the beating of the newest ape.

After replacing the fourth and fifth original apes, all the apes, which have been sprayed with cold water, have been replaced. Nevertheless, no ape ever again approaches the stairs. Why not?

Because that's the way they've always done it and that's the way it's always been around here.

And that's how company policy begins....

Last Updated: 13 July 2011

Brick Order

Details
Published: 07 October 2005

A man goes into his local building supply store and orders 10,000 bricks.

"May I ask what you're building?" asks the man behind the counter.

"It's going to be a barbecue."

"Wow, that's a lot of bricks for one barbecue,"

"Not really; I live on the 12th floor."

Last Updated: 13 July 2011

Vet's Guarantee

Details
Published: 06 October 2005

There was once an aspiring veterinarian who put himself through veterinary school working nights as a taxidermist.

Upon graduation, he decided he could combine his two vocations to better serve the needs of his patients and their owners, while doubling his practice and, therefore, his income.

He opened his own offices with a shingle on the door saying, "Dr.  Jones, Veterinary Medicine and Taxidermy -- Either way, you get your dog back!"

Last Updated: 13 July 2011

Charity Answer

Details
Published: 06 October 2005

Father O'Shea, the parish priest in the village, was giving a sermon about charity. He said, "The trouble with the world today is that some people have too much and others have too little. We must give of ourselves and our worldly goods to help the less fortunate."

He said to Harrigan, "If you had ten thousand pounds, wouldn't you give half of it to the poor?"

He said, "I would that, Father."

The priest said, "If you had two greyhounds, wouldn't you give one of them to your neighbor next door?"

Harrigan said, "No."

The priest said, "And why not?"

He said, "I have two greyhounds."

Last Updated: 13 July 2011
  1. Johnny's Prayer
  2. Argument Settled
  3. Halloween Pun
  4. Dear Abby, Dear Reader

Subcategories

Clean Jokes Article Count:  3612

Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you?  Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 2050
 

Christmas Jokes Article Count:  77

a picture of christmas ballsWe think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.

If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!

Your Turn to Be Funny Article Count:  3

It's your turn to be funny.  Submit your funny caption today.

Funny Elephant Pictures Article Count:  16

Are you looking for funny elephant pictures?  You've come to the right place!

Cybersalt Digest Archive Article Count:  13

Games Article Count:  15

Here are the games we have on the site so far.  There aren't many but they're loads of fun.

Funny Pictures Article Count:  679

Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow.  We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often.  Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.

Funny Car Pictures Article Count:  169

Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.

Funny Cat Pictures Article Count:  231

catmelonhead150x127.jpgOver the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.

And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.

  

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 2050

 

 

 

Funny Dog Pictures Article Count:  149

dog_maggie.jpgSome say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.

It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.

Funny Horse Pictures Article Count:  24

Here's our funny horse pictures collection.

Funny Christmas Pictures Article Count:  53

christmas cakeWe think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.

We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.

Merry Christmas!

Pearly Gates Jokes Article Count:  541

Here are some clean, theologically incorrect jokes.  Most of them have been featured in the PearlyGates section of the free Cybersalt Digest Newsletter - which you can subscribe to by clicking here.

FunBlog Article Count:  534

When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here.  If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!

Cartoons Article Count:  3119

These are some of our favorite cartoons.

Backpew Article Count:  2944

Clean Puns Article Count:  1873

Our collection of puns.

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 2050

 

Funny Signs Article Count:  167

Our collection of funny signs.

One-liners Article Count:  1928

A great collection of clean, funny one-liners! 

Chicken Humor Article Count:  1

Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart! 

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