Hall of Flames

Hall of Flames - Pastor Tim's Hate MailThe world (and unfortunately some churches) have many discontented people and spiritual bullies. So when you try to uplift, entertain and encourage people, (and maybe even make them laugh) it only stands to reason that every now and then someone is going to go off the deep end on you. On the internet that deep end usually manifests itself through a vitrious and gall filled e-mail sent so the author can get his/her jollies by blasting you (otherwise known as a "flame").

Here is a collection of some of the more entertaining flames I have received. Don't worry about me. I've been around enough to know that such people come with the territory. Only, my approach is different that most other's. Most usually just get quiet or apologize in order to either placate the flamer and avoid getting burned up totally.

Me, I'd rather have a good laugh at their expense (after all I didn't make them type what they typed) and, in the case where they may attend the church I pastor, tell them to straighten up or go find another church to wreck.

Nobody eats sheep while this shepherd is on duty!

OK.  So each day in my Cybersalt Digest newsletter I try to put pithy (BTW I don't have a lisp) comments to describe things that are new on the Cybersalt Site.  I put this news under a heading that says "Cybersalt News".

Yesterday there was no news so instead of leaving that section blank I put:

"I have good news for you; well, they say no news is good news."

Helen C. replied:

"This isn't funny, esp coming from a man of God.  The Gospel is literally GOOD NEWS."

I wrote Helen back:

This flame I orignally didn't bother putting here but when the sender contacted me again out of the blue months later it was clear it owned a spot here.

So back on January 19th (today is March 27th) B***** Baker unsubscibed from one of my lists and gave the following reason for doing so:

I only wanted jokes, not to be preached to.  Left the cult of mormonism, and at this point I just don't want to be force fed about any religion, cause I found out that the Mormons were and still are a bunch of liars and I have no idea where their theory of theology came from along with all those secrets. Of course they never told me any of this when I was recruited,which is why I left.  I have since rejoined my Catholic church,and am much happier, but I only go when I want to go.  They don't take "attendance" like the mormons do.  I am currently helping a gal leave mormonism as well, as she was lied to also.I feel that God must be asking me to help her as she seems to be going through a very hard time right now, and has now gotten rid of all her mormon literature.  I guess she had been praying to the mormon version of God, and not the real one, or to the real Jesus.  That is where I come in, to show her right and wrong, but not to force any faith on her, as she needs my total support right now, and if she decides to go to any church, then that is her decision.  Thank you.

To busy to really diagnose what causes a person to feel force fed while reading an e-mail they signed up for from a pastor, I replied:

Shelly W.  wrote (in repsonce to one of my newsletters that she sign up for herself):

"stop sending me this stupid bull#!%* i dont belive in god you can shove him up your ^&# have a nice day dont send me anymore of your #!%*"

It was a few days before I got to reading her e-mail so I replied:

In response to this item on the PearlyGates list:

If you get an envelope from a company called the Internal Revenue Service,"DO NOT OPEN IT!

This group operates a scam around this time every year. Their letter claims that you owe them money, which they will take and use to pay for the operation of essential functions of the United States government. This is untrue!

The money the IRS collects is used to fund various inefficient and pointless social engineering projects and favorite pork-barrel projects like studying sneezing and the swimming habits of insects.

This organization has ties to another shady outfit called the Social Security Administration, who claim to take money from your regular paychecks and save it for your retirement. In truth, the SSA uses the money to pay for the same misguided make-work projects the IRS helps mastermind.

These scam artists have bilked honest, hard working Americans out of billions of dollars. Don't be among them!

Simply send that letter back marked, "Return to Sender". If they inquire by phone, please don't use my name; I'm shy and modest about receiving the credit.

Deane W wrote:

Brenden wrote:

"Look man I hate Jesus Christ. He is a f***ing g*y b***ard and I never liked him so send me no more emails about the b***ard."

Pastor Tim replied:

"Really? When did you meet him and form this opinion?"