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Monthly Archive

February 2005

Welcome to our Archives page. On this page you will find a total of 71 of our articles broken down into Months and Years.
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3777

Lemon-Aid

A local bar was so sure its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a $1000 bet that the bartender could squeeze a lemon so dry no one could get another drop out.  Many people tr... read more..

The Spur
Marcia Lee Laycock
3118

Bringing Jesus To Life

"Double, double, toil and trouble. Fire burn and cauldron bubble." The woman was hunched over, her hands clasped around an imaginary ladle, as she stirred an imaginary cauldron and continued to recite read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3197

Rich Uncle

Two men are talking. One says to the other, "I shouldn't have told my fiancée about my rich uncle."He friend asks, "Why not?"The first man replies, "Because now she's my aunt."... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3848

Bubba's Friends

Bubba was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know.  Just name someone, anyone, and I know them." Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Bubba ho... read more..

Pastor Bert Nieuwenhuis
Pastor Bert Nieuwenhuis
4181

Faith and Determination

The following is supposedly a true story. Shortly after the 911 emergency number became available, an elderly and quite ill lady appeared in a Rochester hospital emergency room, having driven herself ... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3116

Abstract Noun

"An abstract noun," the teacher said, "is something you can think of, but you can't touch it. Can you give me an example of one?""Sure," a teenage boy replied. "My father's new car." read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4174

The friars of Flowers (pun alert)

Some friars were behind in their belfry payments, so they opened a small florist shop to raise the funds.  Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, the rival florist across town t... read more..

Dr. Harold McNabb
Dr. Harold McNabb
2730

One Temptation is as Good as Another

A couple of days ago I arrived at the church in the morning on a beautiful sunny day. Allen Houghton arrived at almost the same time for a meeting we would both attend. "Another meeting", I thought to... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3852

Today I didn't Do It

One afternoon a man came home from work to find total mayhem in his house.  His three children were outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn ... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3802

Pilot Pride

As one of relatively few female airline pilots, I've often been mistaken for a flight attendant, ticket agent or even a snack bar employee. Occasionally people will see me in uniform and ask if I'm a... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4095

You Know You're Really A Mom When . . .

You Know You're Really A Mom When . . . 1.  You count the sprinkles on each kid's cupcake to make sure they're equal. 2.  You want to take out a contract on the kid who broke your child's... read more..

God's Penman
Rev. James L. Snyder
3112

Romance Around The Parsonage Fireplace

There is no greater place for personal reflection than before a fireplace with a cheery fire. Since our parsonage does not have a fireplace, the Mistress of the Parsonage has improvised. She purchase... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2553

Tough Kids

Three little boys were bragging about how tough they were."I'm so tough", said the first boy, "that I can wear out a pair of shoes in a week"."Well", said the second little boy, "I'm so tough, I can w... read more..

Barb's Mantle
Barbara Sanders
3625

After My Heart

Valentine Day is upon us again . I reflect back to the time when my husband and I were dating. We started dating in March, so we missed that year's Valentine Day. And, when the next year's Valentine D... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2377

Work Show and Tell

Stopping to pick up my daughter at kindergarten, I found out that the topic of show and tell that day had been parents' occupations. The teacher pulled me aside. Whispering, she advised, "You might ... read more..

Peggie's Den
Peggie Bohanon
3407

You Light Up My Life...or Don?t Darken my Door!?!

The title says it all--it's either all or nothing for the Valentine lovers or ex-lovers preparing to celebrate - or un-celebrate Valentine's Day on its way to the USA. You either catch the fever and k... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2557

Country Tunes

My wife and I were browsing in a crafts store when I noticed a display of country-style musical instruments. After looking over the flutes, dulcimers and recorders, I picked up a shiny, one-stringed ... read more..

The Spur
Marcia Lee Laycock
3861

A Little Imagination

What do you imagine? A better job, a better house, more money, perhaps a vacation in the South Pacific? We all let our imagination run away with us from time to time. Some of our greatest inventions a... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
12306

Jericho Walls

The new pastor decided to visit the children's Sunday school. The teacher introduced him and said, "Pastor, this morning we're studying Joshua.""That's wonderful," said the new pastor, "let's see wha... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4464

Waking Up Mad

One day a man took the train from Paris to Frankfurt.  When he got in he said to the ticket man: "Sir.  I really need you to do me a favor, I have to get out of this train in Mannheim, but I... read more..

Guest Authors
Pastor Tim
4243

My Cloud of Witnesses

One of my heroes is someone I've never met. Perhaps you've heard of her--Gladys Aylward. Her story has been told in a popular biography, a film starring Ingrid Bergman, and a BBC "This Is Your Life" f... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2353

Sermon Sub

A minister was called away unexpectedly by the illness of a close family member. He entrusted his new assistant with filling the pulpit. The Pastor's wife stayed home. When he returned, the ministe... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
5434

Cake Baking for Mom's of Small Children

Cake Baking for Mom's of Small Children Preheat oven, get out utensils and ingredients. Remove blocks and toy cars from table. Grease pan, crack nuts. Measure two cups flour. Remove b... read more..

Dr. Harold McNabb
Dr. Harold McNabb
3615

Rockin? Goliath

We all know the story of David and Goliath, and even if we don't know the real story, we have same version of it that most folks do.   David vs. Goliath has become a by-word, symbolic of a one... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2725

Unbreakable

If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one at:https://www.cybersalt.org/pastor-tim-s-cleanlaugh-site/what-is-a-gooberA man walks into a glass shop, interested in buying an expens... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
7089

Diary of A House Husband

"Diary of A House Husband" This week I am at home & playing house husband.  My wife left a list of things I need to do.  This is soooooo easy I thought I would share it with you. 1).&n read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3006

School Curlers

ONE MORNING I was called to pick up my son at the school nurse's office. When I walked through the main entrance, I noticed a woman, curlers in her hair, wearing pajamas. "Why are you dressed like t... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3951

Because I Am A Guy

Because I am A Guy... ..I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV.  If the thing has been misplaced, I'll miss a whole show looking for it, though one time I was able... read more..

Peggie's Den
Peggie Bohanon
2721

Time And Space

Now I'm not a rocket scientist and have no clue to the inner workings of science--I leave that to my husband, an organic chemistry professor--who can have your brain spinning as he lectures on the eno... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2489

Fried Eggs

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen.” Careful .. CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh Good Grief! You're cooking too many at onc... read more..

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