Monthly Archive

One day an ape escaped from the Bronx Zoo. They searched for him everywhere, in every borough. They announced his disappearance on the radio and television as well as the newspapers. But, no one re... read more..

One day, the president of the United States was sitting in the Oval Office reading a newspaper to catch on that day's current events. All of a sudden, one of his secret service men burst through the d... read more..

A first grade class teacher, for the "Natural World" section of her class, had a lesson about owls.She explained to the class about how they are nocturnal, how they can swivel their heads so far in ei... read more..

Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?He walks around saying, "Yo."... read more..

Man works in a hardware store, and all of a sudden one day, a whole lot of tins of paint fall on him.Of course, he's whisked off to hospital where they manage to clean him up physically, but mentally ... read more..

A guy in Paris nearly got away with stealing several paintings from the Louvre. However, after planning the crime, getting in and out past security, he was captured only 2 blocks away when his Ford E... read more..

Do you think Roman paramedics call IV's 4's?... read more..

Working as a cargo handler for a major package delivery company, I came across an express envelope with shipping instructions that puzzled me, particularly the line describing the contents.I finally r... read more..

Here's another great pun from Stan Kegel.I took my two sons, ages seven and five, to the playground at our local park. My seven year old was very proud that he was able to read to his brother the sig... read more..

"Whatever you do, when you stop by the auto-wrecking yard, don't park your small car in a spot marked 'Compact.'"- Lil Owens read more..

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windshield that said "Parking Fine."That was so nice.... read more..

Late for work already, I was annoyed to find a strange car in my reserved parking space again. After locating a spot far away, I stormed into my office determined to have the car towed. As the morni... read more..

Late for work already, I was annoyed to find a strange car in my reserved parking space again. After locating a spot far away, I stormed into my office determined to have the car towed. As the morni... read more..

I was driving around and around a parking garage in search of an available space. Nothing. Then I noticed a couple walking ahead of me."Going out?" I called to them."No," said the man. "Just friends."... read more..

Just as a surgeon was finishing up an operation the patient wakes up, sits up and demands to know what is going on."I'm about to close," the surgeon says.The patient grabs his hand and says, "Oh, no y... read more..

I was told by payroll that they're going to start garnishing my paycheck. It seems pretty silly, but I guess if they want to start tossing some parsley and currants into the envelope every week, it's ... read more..

If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.... read more..

When the customer started through the grocery checkout line, the bag boy asked, "Paper or plastic?"When the cashier presented the bill, he held out a checkbook and credit card asking, "Paper or plasti... read more..

Two peanuts walk into a bar. One was a salted.... read more..

"A pedestrian is a person who should be seen and not hurt." read more..

"A horse may be coaxed to drink, but a pencil must be lead."- Stan Laurel read more..

Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica - where do they go? Wonder no more!!!It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird which lives an extremely... read more..

What do you call a chiropractor for pets?An animal cracker.... read more..

I call my pet amphibian "Tiny" because he's "my newt." --P. Jackson... read more..

Photons have mass!? I didn't even know they were Catholic.... read more..

I got a package envelope in the mail the other day that had written on the front, "Photographs: Do Not Bend." Underneath the mailman wrote, "Oh, yes they do."... read more..

Q: What did Cinderella say when her holiday snapshots were late?A: "Someday my prints will com."... read more..

After getting a physical from my doctor, I asked, "Well Doc, how do I stand?"The doctor said, "That's what puzzles me."... read more..

I dated a girl in high school who was sweet as pi, but she sure was irrational.... read more..

A man approaches a beautiful woman, and says, "Want a little company?" And the woman says, "Why? Do you have one to sell?"... read more..