Monthly Archive

July 2011

Welcome to our Archives page. On this page you will find a total of 1934 of our articles broken down into Months and Years.
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2299

Onion Mishap

Don't panic but I'm in hospital. I have poisoned myself. I ate what I thought was an onion it, turned out it was a daffodil bulb.Doctor says I'll be out in the spring!... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1961

Optometrist's Sign

See on a sign at an Optometrist's Office:"If you don't see what your looking for you've come to the right place."... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1924

Origin Pun

One day an ape escaped from the Bronx Zoo. They searched for him everywhere, in every borough. They announced his disappearance on the radio and television as well as the newspapers. But, no one re... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2921

Oval Office

One day, the president of the United States was sitting in the Oval Office reading a newspaper to catch on that day's current events. All of a sudden, one of his secret service men burst through the d... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2253

Owl Lesson

A first grade class teacher, for the "Natural World" section of her class, had a lesson about owls.She explained to the class about how they are nocturnal, how they can swivel their heads so far in ei... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1887

Oy!

Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?He walks around saying, "Yo."... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2930

Paint Tin Pun

Man works in a hardware store, and all of a sudden one day, a whole lot of tins of paint fall on him.Of course, he's whisked off to hospital where they manage to clean him up physically, but mentally ... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2870

Painting Pun

A guy in Paris nearly got away with stealing several paintings from the Louvre. However, after planning the crime, getting in and out past security, he was captured only 2 blocks away when his Ford E... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
5176

Paramedic Pun

Do you think Roman paramedics call IV's 4's?... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
4747

Parcel Pun

Working as a cargo handler for a major package delivery company, I came across an express envelope with shipping instructions that puzzled me, particularly the line describing the contents.I finally r... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1865

Park Rules

Here's another great pun from Stan Kegel.I took my two sons, ages seven and five, to the playground at our local park. My seven year old was very proud that he was able to read to his brother the sig... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1650

Parking 1

"Whatever you do, when you stop by the auto-wrecking yard, don't park your small car in a spot marked 'Compact.'"- Lil Owens read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2057

Parking 2

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windshield that said "Parking Fine."That was so nice.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
5185

Parking Pun 1

Late for work already, I was annoyed to find a strange car in my reserved parking space again. After locating a spot far away, I stormed into my office determined to have the car towed. As the morni... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1872

Parking Pun 2

Late for work already, I was annoyed to find a strange car in my reserved parking space again. After locating a spot far away, I stormed into my office determined to have the car towed. As the morni... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
3175

Parking Search

I was driving around and around a parking garage in search of an available space. Nothing. Then I noticed a couple walking ahead of me."Going out?" I called to them."No," said the man. "Just friends."... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1559

Patient Wake Up

Just as a surgeon was finishing up an operation the patient wakes up, sits up and demands to know what is going on."I'm about to close," the surgeon says.The patient grabs his hand and says, "Oh, no y... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1908

Paycheck News

I was told by payroll that they're going to start garnishing my paycheck. It seems pretty silly, but I guess if they want to start tossing some parsley and currants into the envelope every week, it's ... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2148

Payment

If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
6030

Payment Pun

When the customer started through the grocery checkout line, the bag boy asked, "Paper or plastic?"When the cashier presented the bill, he held out a checkbook and credit card asking, "Paper or plasti... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
4398

Peanuts

Two peanuts walk into a bar. One was a salted.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1809

Pedestrians

"A pedestrian is a person who should be seen and not hurt." read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1764

Pencils

"A horse may be coaxed to drink, but a pencil must be lead."- Stan Laurel read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2398

Penguin Ritual

Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica - where do they go? Wonder no more!!!It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird which lives an extremely... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2164

Pet Chiropractor

What do you call a chiropractor for pets?An animal cracker.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1877

Pet Pun

I call my pet amphibian "Tiny" because he's "my newt." --P. Jackson... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2697

Photon Pun

Photons have mass!? I didn't even know they were Catholic.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1714

Photos 1

I got a package envelope in the mail the other day that had written on the front, "Photographs: Do Not Bend." Underneath the mailman wrote, "Oh, yes they do."... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1590

Photos 2

Q: What did Cinderella say when her holiday snapshots were late?A: "Someday my prints will com."... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1558

Physical Question

After getting a physical from my doctor, I asked, "Well Doc, how do I stand?"The doctor said, "That's what puzzles me."... read more..