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Monthly Archive

2005

Welcome to our Archives page. On this page you will find a total of 979 of our articles broken down into Months and Years.
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3795

Top Ten Things You NEVER Want to Hear the Orkin Man Say

10.  "EEEEEKKK!!!!!!" 9.  "Exterminator down!  Exterminator down!  Send backup!!!  Extermin..." 8.  "The GOOD news is...  you have termites." 7.  "Do you hap read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2469

Helping Sam at Church

Because our former small-town parish was not a wealthy one, our pastor was dependent on parishioners for upkeep and maintenance of the church. Once he asked my husband, Sam, to rewire the confessiona... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3845

1 in 5

Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world is Chinese.  And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be, that one of us is Chinese. It's either my mom or my dad, my older brother Colin, me or my ... read more..

Peggie's Den
Peggie Bohanon
5774

Funny Face...Fake Face

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who's got the funniest face of all?" Check out those Halloween trick-or-treaters at your door in a few days...You?ll meet some pretty funny--and strange--faces...but you read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3113

Senior Ailments

A group of senior citizens were sitting around talking about their ailments: "My arms are so weak I can hardly hold this cup of coffee," said one."Yes, I know. My cataracts are so bad I can't even see... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4174

Pet Names

Bernie was invited to his ageing friend's home for dinner.  Morris, the host, preceded every request to his wife by endearing terms, calling her Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc.... read more..

Wonders of Creation
2714

Wonders of Creation - One Person's Difference

Every book produced by Readers Digest, (as far as I know), if it says anything about the origin of life, or the age of the Earth, will say only one thing: that life evolved from non-living materials, ... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2529

Pet Training

A rolled up newspaper can be an effective pet training tool when used properly.For instance, use the rolled-up newspaper if your dog chews up something inappropriate or has a housebreaking accident. B... read more..

Rev. Spence Laycock
Rev. Spence Laycock
3438

Faith Is the Victory

This morning we are going to consider a place in Israel that is one of the oldest ruins on the face of the earth. Next to Jerusalem , no other Israeli city has received as much interest or research. I... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3882

Stuffed Pockets

A small boy stunned his parents after church one Sunday when he began to empty his pockets of nickels, dimes and quarters.  Finally his mother asked the obvious question, "Where did you get all t... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2679

Things Not To Say or Do at a Job Interview

** See photo of interviewer's family on desk, point, start laughing uncontrollably.** Ask if there is only one emergency exit, grin and say; 'Boy!, I bet this floor would be in trouble if someone barr read more..

Guest Authors
Pastor Tim
5438

Two Shall Become One

Some marriages may be made in heaven, but many of the details have to be worked out here on earth. Unfortunately, many couples enter into an intimate relationship with little or no thought about how s... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3472

The Gas Men

Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee, were out checking meters in a suburban neighborhood.  They parked their truck at the end of the alley and worked thei... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2738

Government Work

You know you work for the government when:The process becomes more important than the product.You don't see anything wrong with attending a meeting on a subject you know nothing about.You feel you con... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4392

God Will Provide

A young woman brings home her fiance to meet her parents.  After dinner, her mother tells her father to find out about the young man. The father invites the fiance to his study for a drink. ... read more..

Dr. Harold McNabb
Dr. Harold McNabb
3703

You Have the Seed: Plant it

You will always be rich enough to be generous. My good friend Gordon Patterson, minister at New Hope Baptist Church told me of a year he spent in mission work in Kenya. He said that on one occasion, ... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3331

The Envelope Please

Morris had just been hired as the new CEO of a large high tech corporation.  The CEO who was stepping down met with him privately and presented him with three numbered envelopes....#1,#2,#3. ... read more..

God's Penman
Rev. James L. Snyder
3553

Pumpkin Pie Is A Vegetable ? Right?

A controversy has raised its ugly head between the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage and Yours Truly. It has been a long time since such a rift has invaded the tranquility of our domicile. Sure, our ... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2334

Chemlite Arrival

Nights in England are coal black, making parachute jumps very difficult. We attach small lights called chemlites to make our jumpsuits visible to the rest of the team.Late one night, lost after a prac... read more..

Peggie's Den
Peggie Bohanon
3993

A "Someone" Rerun

Reruns can be dull, boring, uneventful re-hashing of the same ole stuff you've seen a hundred times before...but I've got a re-run to recommend to you that, when God's the producer, will make your day... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3491

Procrastinator's Creed

1.  I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done already. 2.  I shall never move quickly, except to avoid more work or find excuses. 3.  I will never rush into a read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2222

Good Doctors

A fellow was asked if there were any good doctors is his home town. "Good doctors!" he exclaimed. "We have the best doctors in the world. Dr. James Jones is one good doctor; he's great; he saved my li... read more..

Rev. Spence Laycock
Rev. Spence Laycock
3164

Gilgal?s Sanctification

Have you ever been in someone else's kitchen and see them prepare raw hamburger on the counter, then as you watched they immediately prepared some bread on the same surface? Have you ever been in a pu... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4048

Dead Horse

The tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians, passed on from one generation to the next, says that when you discover you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount. However, in modern busin... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3579

I'm a Moth

A man walks into a dentist's surgery and says, "Excuse me, can you help me. I think I'm a moth."Dentist: "You don't need a dentist. You need a psychiatrist."Man: "Yes, I know."Dentist: "So why did you... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3716

Spelling Bee Confusing

If GH can stand for P as in HiccoughIf OUGH stands for O as in DoughIf PHTH stands for T as in PhthisisIf EIGH stands for A as in NeighbourIf TTE stands for T as in GazetteIf EAU stands for O as in Pl... read more..

The Spur
Marcia Lee Laycock
3156

Three Words Will Do

I saw a stunning painting a while ago. It was done by a man whose work reflects a lot of religious themes, but I think this is one of his best. It is a portrayal of one of the encounters with Jesus to... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2539

Dining In

My husband and I both work, so our family eats out a lot.Recently, when we were having a rare home-cooked meal, I handed a glass to my three year old and asked her to please drink her milk.She looked ... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3825

Painted Sunset

Little Bobby was spending the weekend with his grandmother after a particularly trying week in kindergarten.  His grandmother decided to take him to the park on Saturday morning.  It had bee... read more..

Dr. Harold McNabb
Dr. Harold McNabb
4301

Your Treasure: Send it On Ahead

In 2000, there were two documented attempts of soul selling. A Salon.com article titled ?eFaust eFoiled? reported that 18-year-old Sterling Jones ?put his soul up for auction on eBay. Within a few day... read more..

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