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Monthly Archive

August 2004

Welcome to our Archives page. On this page you will find a total of 81 of our articles broken down into Months and Years.
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4196

All Roads Lead Back to Rome

The U.S.  Standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches.  That's an exceedingly odd number.  Why was that gauge used?Because that's the way they built them ... read more..

Dr. Harold McNabb
Dr. Harold McNabb
3605

How To Entertain An Angel

For those of you I haven't told, my grandson says he saw an angel in our worship one Sunday.Micah is almost 3 and his parents have raised him to know that Jesus loves him, and I guess he also knows ab... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2719

Clothes Hamper

I asked my two-year-old to take his dirty clothes and put them into the hamper.He looked puzzled, and I explained, "You know; it's the place where we put our dirty clothes before they're washed."My so... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4163

Wimpy Dad

One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed.  She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep... read more..

Melva's Devotions
Melva Cooper
4309

The Olympics

"For no one can lay any other foundation than?Jesus Christ. Now anyone who builds on that foundation may use gold, silver, jewels, wood, hay or straw. I Corinthians 3:11-12 (NLT) Athens has fore read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2349

Goober Compensation

If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one at:https://www.cybersalt.org/pastor-tim-s-cleanlaugh-site/what-is-a-gooberTwo goobers were talking.One was explaining to the other how ... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4192

Better By Train

A large two-engine train was crossing America.  After they had gone some distance, one of the engines broke down.  "No problem," the engineer thought and carried on at half power.  Fart... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3691

Foreign Phrases - Sort of

A New York magazine recently ran a contest.  The rules were to take any well-known phrase in a foreign language, change just a single letter, and then provide a definition for the new expression.... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3871

G.I. Excuses

The General went out to find that none of his GIs were there.  One finally ran up, panting heavily. "Sorry, sir!  I can explain, you see I had a date and it ran a little late.  I ran t... read more..

Barb's Mantle
Pastor Tim
5052

Temporal Versus Eternal

'A woman's house is her castle'. And you just don't bother a woman's castle. I'm speaking from a woman's point of view. Many of us have things we cherish, and want to keep. We put them away, and forge read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2317

Perfect Mate

At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to some of her friends."The man I marry must be a shining light amongst company. He must be musical. Tell jokes. Sin... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
11431

Ghandi Pun

Mahatma Ghandi walked barefoot everywhere, to the point that the soles of his feet became quite thick and hard. Being a very spiritual person, he ate very little, and often fasted.  As a result,... read more..

The Spur
Marcia Lee Laycock
5162

Praying with Our Eyes Open

The waitress placed a large bowl of salad in the middle of the table and handed plates all round. Spence and I chatted with our friends for another few moments, while the waitress poured tall glasse read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2528

Where's Mommy

One evening after dinner, a five-year-old boy noticed that his mother had gone out and he asked his father, "Where did mommy go?"In answer to his question, he was told, "Mommy is at a Tupperware party... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
6382

The Lord's Prayer - Sort of

A mother was teaching her three-year-old The Lord's Prayer. For several evenings at bedtime, the child repeated it after the mother.  Then one night the child was ready to solo.  The mother... read more..

Peggie's Den
Pastor Tim
6939

All Aboard MRS. Noah's Ark!

A Hurting Word... Now we all know it was MR. Noah who built the ark and bossed the ark--with the Lord's help, of course!! But it's Mother's Day, and we also know that behind every successful man, the... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2813

Grandpa And The Computer

*Grandpa And The Computer*The computer swallowed GrandpaYes honestly, its true.He pressed 'control' and 'enter'And disappeared from view.It's devoured him completelyThe thought just makes me squirm.Ma read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4161

"Grace"ous Host

A woman invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?" "I wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied.  ... read more..

Barb's Mantle
Pastor Tim
4724

Acceptance

Acceptance Weekly devotional by Barbara Sanders Everyone wants to feel wanted, to be accepted.  Many spend a lifetime trying to gain acceptance in one way or another.  They worry about what ... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2470

Distraught Senior

A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office."Is it true," she wanted to know, "that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?""Yes, I'm afraid so," the doctor t... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4652

Poor Preacher

After the church service a little boy told the pastor, "When I grow up, I'm going to give you some money." "Well, thank you," the pastor replied, "but why?" "Because my daddy says you're one of the ... read more..

The Spur
Marcia Lee Laycock
3561

Excuses, Excuses

Teachers hear all kinds of excuses. Like this one - "You cannot hold me responsible for knowing the material on this test, as I was sleeping during all of your lectures. As you did not wake me up, read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2406

Walking Recovery

An old fellow came into the hospital truly on death's door due to an infected gallbladder. The surgeon who removed the gallbladder was adamant that his patients be up and walking in the hall the day ... read more..

Guest Authors
Pastor Tim
5981

How to Keep from Getting Spiritually Weird

One of my students observed that a whole lot of folks who have gone spiritually weird seemed to start out great, but their lives as honorable Christians ended early. They found themselves unequipped t... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4122

Sharing by Example

A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5, and Ryan, 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake.  Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson.  "If... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3015

Bishop's Role

We were celebrating the 100th anniversary of our church, and several former pastors and the bishop were in attendance. At one point, our minister had the children gather at the altar for a talk about ... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3479

Interesting Thoughts

Why do we say something is out of whack?  What is a whack? If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled? When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts," and you put your two cents in, what h... read more..

Melva's Devotions
Melva Cooper
3838

Precious Thoughts

"How precious it is, Lord, to realize that you are thinking about me constantly!I can't even count how many times a day your thoughts turn toward me?"Psalm 139:17,18 (LB) Two of our grandchildren read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2149

Fish Heads

A customer at Green's Gourmet Grocery marveled at the proprietor's quick wit and intelligence."Tell me, Green, what makes you so smart?""I wouldn't share my secret with just anyone," Green replies, lo... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3776

Service

A woman walked up to the manager of a department store."Are you hiring any help?" she asked. "No," he said.  "We already have all the staff we need." "Then would you mind getting someone to wai... read more..

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