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Monthly Archive

November 2011

Welcome to our Archives page. On this page you will find a total of 269 of our articles broken down into Months and Years.
Pearly Gates Jokes
Pastor Tim
5812

Candy Bars

A middle-aged man was waiting for the bus. While he waited, he watched a young boy eat five candy bars, one right after the other. He said to the boy, "Eating all that candy is bad for your health an... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1259

One-liner #0776

"The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends." read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1924

Full Empty Room

Know why a room full of married people looks so empty? There's not a single person in it.... read more..

Quotes
Pastor Tim
1207

Quote #1229

"Promises are like babies: Fun to make but hard to deliver." read more..

Cybersalt News
Pastor Tim
847

Cybersalt News - November 30, 2011

I am happy to report I have found a way to reactivate the Random Joke Page on the Cybersalt site. You'll find it at:www.cybersalt.org/clean-jokes/random-jokes Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.... read more..

Illustrations
Pastor Tim
1348

Dog's Life Complaint

A woman told a marriage counselor that her husband's complaint that he leads a dog's life is probably well founded. "He comes in the house with muddy feet," she said, "tracks across my clean floors, ... read more..

Pearly Gates Jokes
Pastor Tim
4268

Lucky, The Guide Dog

"We will not have him put down. Lucky is basically a darn good guide dog," Ernst Gerber, a dog trainer from Wuppertal told reporters. "He just needs a little brush-up on some elementary skills, t read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
6498

Favorite Candy

Our phone rang late one night, and my wife Nancy picked it up. She said, "KitKat," and hung up. "Who was that?" "Some boy for Carolyn," she said, referring to our daughter. "What now?" I asked. "H... read more..

Quotes
Pastor Tim
1078

Quote #1228

"You know you're old if you can remember when bacon, eggs and sunshine were good for you." read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1268

One-liner #0775

People at my workplace have started a funny new tradition where they put names on food in the office fridge - today I ate sandwich called Mark.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
5311

Captain Kirk Ears

Q: How many ears does Captain Kirk of Star Trek have? A: Three: the left ear, the right ear, and the final front ear.... read more..

Cybersalt News
Pastor Tim
962

Cybersalt News - November 29, 2011

As we approach Christmas, keep in mind that some of your short term festivity may have long term consequences - as you can imagine in "The Cat's Christmas Revenge" at:www.cybersalt.org/funny-christmas... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3286

Marry An Actor

An aspiring young actor asked a young lady's father if he could have his daughter's hand in marriage. The father said, "I would never let my daughter marry an actor." The actor said, "Sir, I think yo... read more..

Illustrations
Pastor Tim
1361

The Oyster

"The Oyster" There once was an oyster Whose story I tell Who found that some sand Had got into his shell. It was only a grain but it gave him great pain. For oysters have feelings Although they're s read more..

Quotes
Pastor Tim
1146

Quote #1227

"I like Christmas presents, Christmas music, Christmas trees, Christmas cards. I like the Christmas spirit. What I don’t like is the way people, whose only interest in Christmas is money, have moved i read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2154

Holiday Overeating

"He ate so much over the holidays that he decided to quit cold turkey." read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1323

One-liner #0774

"Half the people you know are below average." read more..

Simply Susan
Susan Davis
7736

Grief

Those of you who get the Cybersalt Digest regularly already know that my Mom died November 12th. My thoughts have been fragmented and scattered, so today I’ll just tell you about that day and save my ... read more..

Cybersalt News
Pastor Tim
880

Cybersalt News - November 28, 2011

I know many of you had a very busy, long, and food-filled weekend so please pay attention because I don't want to have to pepperspray anyone - AGAIN! It's a drag to be back at work but try ... read more..

Illustrations
Pastor Tim
1622

Portrait of a Friend

"Portrait of a Friend" I can't give solutions to all of life's problems, doubts, or fears. But I can listen to you, and together we will search for answers. I can't change your past with all it's he read more..

Pearly Gates Jokes
Pastor Tim
1934

Holiday Restaurant

I almost got thrown out of my sister-in-law's house one year at the holidays. I told them that I was thinking of opening a restaurant (I did this with a straight face, so they thought I was serious). ... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1333

One-liner #0773

"Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back." read more..

Quotes
Pastor Tim
1310

Quote #1226

"The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when he discovers that someo read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2844

The War of the Navels

The War of the Navels People have navels of different kinds,Ineys and outeys, to that we're resigned;And so it has happened as it has before,The difference became a reason for war. Each side said th... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1804

Pork Delivery

A German farmer with relatives in the US sent them a package consisting of some pork sausages made from his old pig. When they complained that the package had not yet arrived, he wrote: "C... read more..

Christmas
Pastor Tim
1021

The Calling of the Favored

If God calls you to something you can be sure you have His favor - even if you wonder what His call means or how it could ever come true. Listen Online:{audio}podcast/sm20111127.mp3{/audio}... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
5544

How Does This Work?

Bob was on vacation, visiting a Las Vegas casino for the first time. He decided to play the slots. Since he wasn't sure how to play a slot machine, he called an attendant over. "Excuse me," Bob said... read more..

Illustrations
Pastor Tim
1440

Move Your Mind Forward

Whatever you dwell upon in your mind, you give power to. So of course it makes sense to focus on what you want rather than what you don't want. Yet there are many ways in which the things you don't wa... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1306

One-liner #0772

"I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize." read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2029

Salary Increase

Our boss told us that she is planning a salary raise. One of the guys asked, "When does it become effective?" The boss answered, "As soon as you do."... read more..

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