Cybersalt News
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
We have a tree in the backyard at Cybersalt World Headquarters that has had quite a few dead branches on it. This week we hired an arborist to come and cut them off. It's a lot nicer to look at, and I don't think it's going out on a limb to say that the neighbours are happy we had it tidied up either!
Today's video share an interesting one that features a musician who really likes to hit the bottle - and many other recyclables.
Click Here to Watch.
Enjoy the rest of today's digest!
~ Pastor Tim
Late for Class
At the prestigious university there was a clear hierarchy that outlined how long one was to wait for a class to begin if the professor was absent. A full professor rated fifteen minutes. An associate only ten. A mere instructor was expected to be on time, if not early. This system worked only one way, however; and students were afforded no such grace.
It was to be expected, therefore, that one professor, the foremost authority in his field by his own admission, would register distinct annoyance when the student, just out of military service, was late for class for the third morning running.
"Tell me," the professor began, "exactly what did they say in the Army when you sauntered in late like this?"
"Well," mused the unperturbed youth, "first they saluted, then they inquired, 'How are you this morning, sir?'"
One-Liner #1956
I think people who use the wrong word should have the humidity to admit it.
Alphabet Soup With a Kick! 🤣
I've combined a laxative and alphabet soup. I call it "Letter Rip!"
Quote #2392
"The worst bullies you will ever encounter in your life are your own thoughts."
- attr. Bryant McGill
Piracy Payback
An unfailingly polite lady called to ask for help with a Windows installation that had gone terribly wrong.
Customer: "I brought my Windows disks from work to install them on my home computer."
Training stresses that we are "not the Software Police," so I let the little act of piracy slide.
Tech Support: "Umm-hmm. What happened?"
Customer: "As I put each disk in it turns out they weren't initialized."
Tech Support: "Do you remember the message exactly, ma'am?"
Customer: (proudly) "I wrote it down. 'This is not a Macintosh disk. Would you like to initialize it?'"
Tech Support: "Er, what happened next?"
Customer: "After they were initialized, all the disks appeared to be blank. And now I brought them back to work, and I can't read them in the A: drive; the PC wants to format them. And this is our only set of Windows disks for the whole office. Did I do something wrong?"
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Susan Page writes . . . .
Dark Night of the Soul
- photo by Susan PageThe phrase "dark night of the soul" originates from the 16th-century Spanish mystic and poet St. John of the Cross. He used this phrase in his poem and subsequent treatise Dark Night (Noche Oscura). The phrase is not in the Bible; however, numerous recorded stories exist of such struggles.
After Elijah’s victory over the prophets of Baal (1 Kings 18), he crashed, both physically and spiritually. He was in great despair and felt abandoned by God. With God’s encouragement and loving care, Elijah eventually got through the deep valley to the other side.
Read moreThe Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
Bucharest Hotel Lobby - "The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time you will be unbearable."
Told my kids I couldn't find the hot cocoa powder to which my four year old said, "Maybe someone took it and hid it behind my bed" which is a suspiciously specific theory.
I cut myself shredding cheese. I wanted to blame someone else, but then I remembered ... with grate power comes grate responsibility.
There are children in the world holding onto the hope that someone will stand up and speak for them.
Ernest Shackleton's recruiting advertisement for his 1912 Imperial Trans-Antarctic Expedition:
After many years of denial, I finally realized how easily I am confused. Why it took me so long to realize this, I will never know.
The following is a quote from a director of sports information in the Navy, regarding the theft of some mascots from the Naval Academy by Army rivals:
If you see a road sign that says "Survey Crew Ahead" they are not actually interested in your opinion; I know that now...
My daughter can't decide if she wants to be a hairdresser or an author.
Today I complete a chore I have been putting off for six months. It took 15 minutes. I will learn nothing from this.
Dearest creature in creation,
I’ve often thought there could be nothing worse than living with cognitive decline to the point where you are unaware of your family, friends or your surroundings. I have deep concern and empathy for individuals experiencing the effects of dementia. Yet, the decline a person experiences may not even compare with the difficulties their friends and family are navigating. Acceptance is a brutally painful journey that has no compass or roadmap.
The same old standard phonetic alphabet (which you would use to describe spelling "Wilson" as "Whiskey, India, Lima, Sierra, Oscar, November") has been used by aircraft pilots, police, and many others for many years now.
When I was little, I remember they only played old-people music in the supermarkets; but today when I went to whole Foods, they were playing all the songs I love.
I asked my doctor if I could administer anesthesia myself and he told me, "Sure, go knock yourself out."
People wait all day for 5pm.
On thinking ahead, from the novel "Artifact" by Greg Benford, a "hard" sci-fi writer who is also a physicist:
Shakey went to a psychiatrist.
If cats could text you back ... they wouldn't.
A new airplane has been developed that cannot crash. Made from rubber polymers, it will just bounce. The craft was invented by Boeing, Boeing, Boeing.
"The child who follows you from room to room isn't being difficult. They're reminding you that you are their favorite place to be."
During a temporary shutdown of operations at a large plant, trained police dogs were hired to protect the building from vandalism. A company executive who was unaware of the new regime arrived at the plant early one morning.