Cybersalt News
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
For a long stretch now I've wanted to be able to point folks back to past editions of the Cybersalt Digest. Way back when, the software I used to send the Digest tucked away a copy of every mailing as it went out — but somewhere along the way an upgrade pulled that feature, and the archive went with it. A big thank you to Walter McLauren, whose ongoing wish to read back issues finally spurred me on to do something about it. The full archive isn't there yet, but there are now over 1,500 past editions of the Cybersalt Digest waiting for you at the Cybersalt Digest Archive.
Even though I'm not much of a soccer (or "football," as the rest of the world says) fan, today's video share is one I've come back to many times over the years and still smile at every time.
Click Here To Watch
Enjoy the rest of today's Digest.
~ Pastor Tim
Bungee Jumping
Two entrepreneurs, Jack and John, decided to start a bungee-jumping business south of the border. They went to Casa del Sol, Mexico, built a huge platform, and opened for business. By noon the first day, they both noticed that while everyone was watching, no one was buying tickets.
Jack told John to go up and jump, so everyone could see how much fun it was, and then they would buy tickets and try it.
John jumped, almost reached the ground, and sprang back up. Jack saw that his shirt was torn and his hair was mussed. John came down again and sprang back up. This time he had several bruises and his clothes were ripped to shreds. The third time down and back up, and he had several open wounds, a broken arm, and was bruised over most of his body.
Jack quickly raised John to the platform and asked him what in the world was going on.
John replied, "I'm not sure. Do you know what 'piñata' means?"
One-Liner #2036
It's so annoying when people use the wrong word & don't have the humidity to admit it.
Photographer Gets Cheesy Injury 🧀🤕
A photographer was injured when a huge chunk of cheddar fell on him.
All the people in the picture were trying to warn him!
Quote #2472
“It seems I have spent a lifetime of mouthing mechanically, ‘Say thank you. Sit up straight. Use your napkin. Close your mouth when you chew. Don’t lean back in your chair.’ Just when I finally got my husband squared away, the kids came along.”
- Erma Bombeck
Lucky Saucer
A famous art collector is walking through the city when he notices a mangy cat lapping milk from a saucer in the doorway of a store and he does a double-take. He recognizes that the saucer is extremely old and very valuable, so he walks casually into the store and offers to buy the cat for two dollars.
The store owner replies "I'm sorry, but the cat isn't for sale. The collector says "Please, I need a hungry cat around the house to catch mice. I'll pay you twenty dollars for that cat." And the owner says "Sold," and hands over the cat. The collector continues, "Hey, for the twenty bucks I wonder if you could throw in that old saucer. The cat's used to it and it'll save me from having to get a dish."
And the owner says, "Sorry buddy, but that's my lucky saucer. So far this week I've sold sixty-eight cats."
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Susan Page writes . . . .
Anything God Wants Me to Be
There is an old chorus, usually sung by children, called I Am a Promise, with fantastic lyrics.
I wish I had been taught the truth of these words as a young child.
In the era in which I was raised, parents worried that telling their children they were special would make them prideful. I grew up on rhetoric that repeatedly proclaimed the goal was to get through high school and then get out the door to search for a job … any job. There was no encouragement to reach for more.
Following Jesus means we can be brave and truly experience life in all its fullness, no matter where we started from. Once we know who we are in Christ Jesus, that we are His, lovingly purchased with a great price, then we can live life in all its fullness!
Read moreThe Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.
While the family was sitting around the dinner table, Jennifer, 5, turned to her brother Andy, 3, and pointed to her dad.
My wife said: "That's the 4th time you've gone back for dessert! Doesn't it embarrass you?"
Me: "When I have alphabet soup, I only eat the vowels."
"Prayer is the vital breath of Christians; not the thing that makes us alive, but the evidence that we are alive."
A husband took his young daughter to the grocery store with him. In addition to the healthy items on the carefully prepared shopping list, they returned with a box of sugar-laden cookies.
For many years, even before I became a pastor, Sunday was always a very special day. I lived in a rural community in Pennsylvania where they had what they called the "Blue Laws." No business was open on a Sunday, but churches were full.
After 50 you're like an old phone battery; even when you charge yourself overnight for 10 hours, by 10am you're at 60%.
What do you call a beehive without an exit?
If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month!
Just for Today ...
~ "How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back?"
I'm not saying your perfume is too strong; I'm just saying the canary was alive before you got here.
In my career as a lumberjack, I have chopped down exactly 85,696 trees.
"It takes considerable knowledge just to realize the extent of your own ignorance."
Little Johnny was in church when the wine and wafers were passed out. His mother leaned over and told him that he was not old enough to partake in the Communion.
Throughout my life, I have often heard people telling other people what they should be or do. I do not know where they get the right to say that about other people.
A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different each week, so the magician allowed himself to do the same tricks over and over again.
My wife is so far out of my league that the cashier put one of those plastic grocery dividers between our stuff like we weren't even together.
I laid in bed last night to read the dictionary, but I didn't finish it.
"Reality continues to ruin my life."
The following caption was found written on a gravestone...