Cybersalt Digest Archive

Cybersalt News

Sunday greetings everyone!

Well, it turns out I did break my arm! X-rays confirmed a fracture on the head of my radial bone — not broken clean through, just cracked, which is the good news. The arm is in a sling for the next two to three weeks, and on Monday I meet with an orthopedic surgeon. My doctor says it's 99% likely the surgeon won't need to operate, so that is good news as well.

All that time assuming nothing was seriously wrong — and here we are. Them's the brakes — or in this case, the break. 😄

Through all of it, I am grateful, happy, and joyful in all the ways God is providing and is going to use this for good in my life.

Enjoy the rest of today's Digest. 

~ Pastor Tim 

While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den.

"What is the big brass gong and hammer for?" one of his friends asked.

"That is the talking clock", the young man replied.

"How's it work?" the friend asked.

"Watch", the man said then proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer.  BONG!

Suddenly someone screamed from the other side of the wall "KNOCK IT OFF, YOU GOOBER!  It's two AM!"

I think the universe knew I would be too powerful if I could do math.

Just been prescribed some anti-gloating cream. I can't wait to rub it in.

“I’m sure wherever my Dad is, he’s looking down on us. He’s not dead, just very condescending.”

- Jack Whitehall

An English teacher often wrote little notes on student essays. Often she worked late, and as the hours passed, her handwriting deteriorated.

One day a student came to her after class with an essay that had been returned. "I can't make out this comment you wrote on my paper," he said

The teacher took the paper and, after studying it, sheepishly replied,

"It says that you should write more legibly!"

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . . 

For over 70 years, I believed sanity was a very important part of a person's identity. Being sane enables one to be successful in life. Who doesn't want to be successful?

I've made it my business to focus on my sanity and make sure it's working just fine. Of course, I’m not sure how to build my sanity.

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.

Cybersalt News

Oh look, Chicken Thursday!

I'm happy to report that many parts of the right side of my body are starting to feel better after my epic wipeout last Friday! However, my right arm continues to hang around and cause shooting pain if I move it the wrong way.

I did see the doctor yesterday and he sent me off for x-rays — and I use the plural because by the time all the parts of my arm got x-rayed, it was somewhere between 7 and 9 different angles they wanted to look at! As I write this — and by "write" I mean "dictate to the microphone on my computer," because while I can use the mouse pretty well, I can only type with my left hand, so speaking is a lot easier — I'm still waiting to hear back the results.

A big shout out to Grandma Cybersalt, who has not only been taking great care of me, but also made such a sling for my right arm that the doctor specifically commented on it and told me to make sure to tell her she had done an awesome job!

Enjoy the rest of today's Digest. 

~ Pastor Tim 

Concerned about fitness in my mid-40s, I enrolled in an aerobics class. To my dismay I walked into a room filled with much younger women and decided to combat my nervousness with humor.

"I'm here to do my postnatal exercises," I told the instructor.

She gave me an appraising look. "How old is your baby?"

"Twenty-two," I replied.

Survival Tip: If zombies attack, go to Costco - there are cement walls, years worth of food, and tons of supplies. Plus, zombies can't get in without a membership.

What do a tick and the Eiffel Tower have in common?

They are both Paris sites.

"We won't have a cure for diseases until we first have a cure for greed."

- Dr. Sachin Patel

The waitress comes over and recognizes the family seated at the table -- Mr. and Mrs. Smith and their little son, Jonathan. She says, "Jonathan, what would you like?"

He says, "I'll have a grilled cheese sandwich."

She says, "Jonathan, I'm sorry, we don't serve grilled cheese sandwiches."

He says, "You have a grill, don't you?"

She says, "Yes."

He says, "You have cheese, don't you?"

She says, "Yes."

He says, "You have bread, don't you?"

She says, "Yes."

He says, "Well, I'll have a grilled cheese sandwich."

This kid is four years old!

The waitress says, "Jonathan, I'll go see if the chef will fix you a grilled cheese sandwich."

She comes back in a little while and says, "Okay, Jonathan, the chef agreed to fix you a grilled cheese sandwich. I forgot to ask you, though, what you want to drink."

He says, "I'll have a milkshake."

She says, "Jonathan, your parents have probably already told you we don't serve milkshakes." (She was ready for him this time.) "Now, it is true we have milk. And it is true we have ice cream. But we don't have the syrup."

He says, "You have a car, don't you?"

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

Susan Page writes . . . . 

Redeeming love, how can it be
That Christ would die upon a tree
Redeeming love that He would give
His life for us that we might live

He is the way, the truth, the life
He freely gave a sacrifice
No rights He held, no pain too great
To lead His own through Heaven’s gate

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.

Cybersalt News

Resurrection Sunday greetings everyone - the Lord is Risen!

You would think that after watching as many fail videos as I have, I would know better. And yet... here we are.

On Friday I did the thing. The thing I should not have done. And the wipeout that followed was, shall we say, spectacular — evidenced by the fact that as I was struggling to get back on my feet, someone nearby said they wished they had caught it on video.

It's good to be young at heart. It really is. But I am learning — slowly and painfully — that my body does not bounce the way it used to.

There's an interesting evolution to falling down as you age:

When I was a kid, I'd cry because it hurt.

When I got a little older, I'd feel embarrassed because people saw me fall.

Now that I've reached the age I have... I just feel bad for the people around me who are mortified because they just watched an "old man" go down.

Today's video share is a repeat of an old favorite: The Plate.
Click Here To Watch

Enjoy the rest of today's Digest. 

~ Pastor Tim 

A Jewish man took his Passover lunch to eat outside in the park.  He sat down on a bench and began eating.  Since Jews do not eat leavened bread during the eight day holiday, he was eating Matzoh, a flat crunchy unleavened bread that has dozens of perforations.

A little while later a blind man came by and sat down next to him.  Feeling neighborly, the Jewish man passed a sheet of matzo to the blind man.

The blind man handled the matzo on both sides for a few minutes, looked puzzled, and finally exclaimed, "Who wrote this junk?"

If I had a dollar for every time algebra has helped me in real life, I'd have x dollars.

I read that giraffes can grow up to 18 feet.

The ones I've seen only have four.

The Birth of Christ is the eucatastrophe of Man's history. The Resurrection is the eucatastrophe of the story of the Incarnation. This story begins and ends in joy. . . . There is no tale ever told that men would rather find was true. . . .  This story is supreme; and it is true. Art has been verified. God is the Lord, of angels, and of men - and of elves. Legend and History have met and fused."

- J. R. R. Tolkien, On Fairy Stories, 78

A nurse on the pediatric ward, before listening to the little one's chests, would plug the stethoscope into their ears and let them listen to their own hearts. Their eyes would always light up with awe, but he never got a response equal to four-year old David's comment.

Gently he tucked the stethoscope into David's ears and placed the disk over his heart. "Listen," he said..........."What do you suppose that is?"

David drew his eyebrows together in a puzzled line and looked up as if lost in the mystery of the strange "thump, thump-thump" deep in his chest.

Then his face broke out in a wondrous grin and he asked, "Is that Jesus knocking?"

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . . 

After some months of intense reflection, I have come to the conclusion that it is time for my insanity to retire. The evidence before me is so overwhelming that I'm not sure I have any other choice. And believe me, I have looked.

Not that I haven't benefited from my insanity. Looking back over my years, I can't help but notice how my insanity has been a positive thing in my life. I never would've thought this way before, but after considerable thinking, I believe this is so.

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.

Cybersalt News

Oh look, Chicken Thursday!

Even with one of my granddaughters sitting beside me, I have to admit that watching the Artemis II rocket lift off yesterday made me feel like a little boy again.

I know the technology inside this latest generation of rockets is vastly different from the ones they launched when I was a young boy — back in the late '60s and '70s — but it didn't matter. There is just something about a big old rocket firing up and heading for the Moon that does a heart good.

Hats off to those four astronauts for the confidence and bravery it takes to strap themselves into a capsule perched on top of all that explosive power. I'm excited to watch how things unfold over the next ten days, and I'm fully expecting a few more moments of boyish wonder as they travel out to and back from the Moon.

As a fun little bonus: NASA offered people the chance to submit their names to be included on a memory disk aboard the rocket. I took them up on that. So while those four brave souls become the farthest humans from Earth in history, my name will be along for the ride — one among 5,647,889 others. More boyish fun, indeed!

Enjoy the rest of today's Digest. 

~ Pastor Tim 

A life-long city man, tired of the rat race, decided he was going to give up the city life, move to the country, and become a chicken farmer.

He found a nice, used chicken farm, which he bought.

Turns out that his next door neighbor was also a chicken farmer.

The neighbor came for a visit one day and said, "Chicken farming isn't easy. Tell you what. To help you get started, I'll give you 100 chickens."

The new chicken farmer was thrilled.

Two weeks later the new neighbor stopped by to see how things were going.

The new farmer said, "Not too good. All 100 chickens died."

The neighbor said, "Oh, I can't believe that. I've never had any trouble with my chickens. I'll give you 100 more."

Another two weeks went by, and the neighbor stops in again.

The new farmer says, "You're not going to believe this, but the second 100 chickens died too."

Astounded, the neighbor asked, "What went wrong? What did you do to them?"

Well, says the new farmer, "I'm not sure whether I'm planting them too deep or not far enough apart."

People's IQs should be presented like the weather:

Actual IQ: 97
Feels like: 72

I just accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eyes.

Now I have Heinzsight.

"Being a mom means never buying the right amount of produce. Either everyone suddenly loves grapes, and a week's worth are eaten in one afternoon, or fruit flies are congregating around my rotting bananas."

- Lessons from the Minivan

Writing a song for each of the 52 bible verses published in Samuel Deuth's book "52 Bible Verses for Men"

Jesus: Follow me

Many of Us: How about I go to a building once a week for a couple of hours and we call it good?

Jesus: Huh?

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

Susan Page writes . . . . 

In the garden, lonesome in grief
His soul came begging sweet relief
Blood-soaked tears poured down like rain,
soaking the path of heart-seared pain

His friends were close, yet could not be
companions in prayer, upon their knees
Betrayed by those He held so dear
Would God, His Father, calm His fear

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.