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Issue #4988
Cybersalt News
Sunday greetings, everyone!
Though you will read this news on Sunday, I am typing it on Saturday night as I usually do to get the mailing lined up to go out later while I am sleeping. This week, however, it is extra important for me to get everything typed up and ready because later tonight the men's group from our church is going to an ax and knife throwing business. It's so much easier to type while I have all my fingers!
Today's video share is of a 3 year-old violinist: it was just too cute to not share!
Click here to watch.
~ Pastor Tim
Vicar's Surprise
A rich man went to his vicar and said, "I want you and your wife to take a three-month trip to the Holy Land at my expense. When you come back, I'll have a surprise for you." The vicar accepted the offer, and he and his wife went off to the Middle East.
Three months later they returned home and were met by the wealthy parishioner, who told them that while they were gone, he had had a new church built. "It's the finest building money can buy, vicar," said the man. "No expense was spared." And he was right. It was a magnificent edifice both outside and in.
But there was one striking difference. There was only one pew, and it was at the very back. "A church with only one pew?" asked the vicar.
"You just wait until Sunday," the rich man said.
When the time came for the Sunday service, the early arrivals entered the church, filed onto the one pew and sat down. When the pew was full, a switch clicked silently, a circuit closed, the gears meshed, a belt moved and, automatically, the rear pew began to move forward. When it reached the front of the church, it came to a stop. At the same time, another empty pew came up from below at the back and more people sat down. And so it continued, pews filling and moving forwards until finally the church was full, from front to back.
"Wonderful!" said the vicar, "Marvelous!"
The service began, and the vicar started to preach his sermon. He launched into his text and, when 12 o'clock came, he was still going strong, with no end in sight. Suddenly a bell rang, and a trap door in the floor behind the pulpit dropped open.
"Wonderful!" said the congregation, "Marvelous!"
One-Liner #1902
The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of Charades.
"Be a Billionaire!"
and Help
Refugees and
Persecuted Christians
Antsy Antics
Five ants rented an apartment with another five ants. Now they're tenants.
Quote #2337
"Do what makes you happy, because when you die, your job will be posted before your obituary."
- Unknown
Mistaken Identity
A true story from Pastor Tim...
One year, at the annual summer day camp Westside Bible Church runs, we had a set of identical twin brothers enrolled. They were 6 years old and very, very identical.
At the end of each day's schedule, all of the day camp children would gather together in our main hall and watch a slide show of pictures taken during the various activities of the day. As they watched, the children would point out individuals they recognized in the photos. On one of those days, when one of the twins was recognized, a number of children pointed to him and said, "That's you!"
Apparently it wasn't, because he replied loudly in protest, "No, that's not me. That's the other me!"
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . .
How Old is Considered Too Old?
One of my grandchildren asked me quite a penetrating question this week. Everybody knows how perceptive these little people are, especially when they are around big people. I am all for questions and answering questions and that sort of thing. Sometimes, however, the question crosses the wrong line.
“Grandpa,” one of the little people asked, “how old are you?”
Read moreThe Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
For all of us guys out there who just can't figure it out, here it is:
I'm not sure how many cookies it takes to be happy, but so far it's not twenty seven.
"May you live as long as you want and not want for as long as you live." - An Irish Toast.
"For how can one know color in perpetual green, and what good is warmth without cold to give it sweetness?"
Helen and Amanda were discussing their busy schedules.
I was inspecting communications facilities in Alaska. Since I had little experience in flying in small planes, I was nervous when we approached a landing strip in a snow-covered area. The pilot descended to just a couple hundred feet, then gunned both engines, climbed, and circled back. While my heart pounded, the passenger beside me seemed calm.
I am often mistaken for an adult because of my age.
"Do just enough to get by."
"While it's impossible to trace the pinball path of a single prayer, our prayers somehow exit our four dimensions of space-time in order to get to the God who exists outside of the four space-time dimensions He created when He said, "Let there be light." Our prayers don't dissipate over time; our prayers accumulate through eternity."
Our church was saddened to learn this week of the death of one of our most valued members, Someone Else.
Most people are fascinated by their age as if it makes any difference in their lives. Some people are very intimidated by getting older and struggle against it. 
A New York magazine recently ran a contest. 
I have good problem solving skills, but my problem creating skills are where I really shine! 
I fell for a Librarian
It is the life of the crystal, the architect of the flake, the fire of the frost, the soul of the sunbeam. This crisp winter air is full of it.
It was just a regular day at Darien Lake, an upstate New York amusement park.
Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
I'm so jealous of people who know how to shut up ... I shut up and subtitles come out my face. 
They call them heated seats because rear defroster was already taken.
Being a parent is like jumping out of a plane with a bunch of people who can't open their own chutes.
A little boy is telling his Grandma how "everything" is going wrong: School, family problems, health problems, etc. Meanwhile, Grandma is baking a cake.
We were facing a very severe hurricane, and everything was being shut down.