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Cybersalt News
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
My shop cleanup project is coming along. My progress was slowed for 3 days due to a sprained ankle (not due to tripping on clutter), but I now have a clear path to the back corner. Now all I have to do is tidy/toss/clean my my back to the door!
Today's video share reminds us that sometimes making a mess can be a beautiful thing!
Click here to watch.
~ Pastor Tim
Actual Warnings On Products
On instructions for a hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
On a bar of Dial bath bar:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
On a frozen dinner package:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
On a hotel-provided shower cap box:
Fits one head.
On Tesco's Tirimisu dessert:
Do not turn upside down (Printed on the bottom of the box)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
On packaging from a Rowenta Iron.
Do not iron clothes on body.
On Boot's children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
On a bottle of Nytol (a sleeping aid):
Warning: May cause drowsiness.
On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: Keep out of children.
On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
On a Japanese food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: Contains nuts.
On an American Airlines package of nuts:
Instructions: Open package, eat nuts.
On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
On a package of Sunmaid raisins:
Why not try tossing over your favorite breakfast cereal?
One-Liner #1666
I ate a clock yesterday; it was very time consuming.
"Be a Billionaire!"
and Help
Refugees and
Persecuted Christians
Scroll Worker
Did you hear about the guy from Utah who wanted to become a writer?
Well, he tried for many years but never produced anything he was satisfied with and, certainly, never sold anything. So, he took up carpentry.
This was a great career move because he had a great aptitude for wood butchery. In fact, he became a highly sought after cabinet maker.
He billed himself as the Mormon Nailer.
Quote #2103
"I'm not busy ... a woman with three children under the age of 10 wouldn't think my schedule looked so busy."
- Garrison Keillor
Prejudice, Anti-Semitism
The wonderful comic, Sam Levenson, had a great answer to anti-Semites.
"It's a free world and you don't have to like Jews, but if you DON'T, I suggest that you boycott certain Jewish products, like .....
The Wasserman Test for syphilis, Digitalis, discovered by Doctor Nuslin,
Insulin, discovered by Doctor Minofsky,
Chloral Hydrate, discovered by Doctor Lifreich,
The Schick Test for Diphtheria,
Vitamins, discovered by Doctor Funk,
Streptomycin, discovered by Doctor Woronan,
The Polio Pill by Doctor Sabin,
and the Polio Vaccine by Doctor Jonas Salk.
Go on, boycott!
Humanitarian consistency requires that my people offer all these gifts to all people of the world.
Fanatic consistency requires that all bigots accept Syphilis, Diabetes, Convulsions, Malnutrition, Polio and Tuberculosis as a matter of principal.
You want to be mad at us? Be mad at us! But I'm telling you, you ain't going to feel so good."
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
One of the signs that tells me I am tired and need a break is when I notice an increase in wanting to reply to some of the stupid things people post on social media. I'm not going to go into details because as my friend says to me, "Better Tim, not bitter Tim!" I know not much good comes from adding my sarcastic or trolling thoughts to the collection (as hilarious as they are, lol.)
A local priest and pastor were fishing on the side of the road.
When life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.
"Hundreds of kids are shipped off to Mime Boarding School every year, never to be heard from again."
“Life is truly a ride. We're all strapped in and no one can stop it. When the doctor slaps your behind, he's ripping your ticket and away you go. As you make each passage from youth to adulthood to maturity, sometimes you put your arms up and scream, sometimes you just hang on to that bar in front of you. But the ride is the thing. I think the most you can hope for at the end of life is that your hair's messed, you're out of breath, and you didn't throw up.”
Calvin Coolidge, the 30th president of the United States, was popularly known as "Silent Cal."
I mentioned last weekend I was in Port Angeles, Washington, USA. The idea for that trip began when a client of mine from the UK told me he was travelling to Port Townsend, WA for a memorial service. It was nice to meet him.
1. You're asleep but others worry that you're dead.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather ... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
“I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but he turned out to be an optical Aleutian.”
"Whatever else it is, the kingdom of God is decidedly NOT a call to violent revolution."
A moving van pulled up in front of the only vacant house in the neighborhood and started unloading.
We finally got some really nice weather at Cybersalt World Headquarters after navigating a cooler than normal spring. Our front and back lawns are much greener than they usually would be at this time of year. The weeds in our lawn are also greener, which is making it much easier to find them and remove them by hand.
Thought I'd let my doctor check me,
My company is better at making sun-screen than our competitors, but I don't like to rub it in!
I've got stained glass windows in our house.
"Faithless is he that says farewell when the road darkens."
One of my co-workers got a speeding ticket and was attending a defensive-driving course to have points erased from his license. The instructor, a police officer, emphasized that being on time was crucial and that the classroom doors would be locked when each session began.
I've just returned from a couple of days in and around Port Angeles, Washington, USA. I was over there to meet a client from the UK who had travelled to attend a memorial service for a relative. I also got to spend time with a very good friend who lives over there as well.
"I had the strangest dream last night," a man was telling his psychiatrist.
It takes alot of balls to golf the way I do!
To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
"Busy is a choice. Stress is a choice. Joy is a choice. Choose well."
Some neighbors of my grandparents gave them a pumpkin pie as a gift. As lovely as the gesture was, it was clear from the first bite that the pie tasted bad. In fact, it was so inedible that my grandmother had to throw it away.