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Cybersalt News
Oh look, Chicken Thursday - and happy 76th birthday to my dad!
Grandma Cybersalt and I set an alarm to wake us up at 2:50am on Monday to watch the Queen's funeral. We both thought the music was beautiful. The Bible passages and truths proclaimed were powerful. I am grateful that so many millions of people could hear those words of hope of forgiveness and eternal live found in Jesus alone.
Today's video share takes a look at the "Changes to British Royal Titles Since the Death of Queen Elizabeth II." It's interesting look into the UK's constitutional monarchy.
Click here to watch the video.
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
Science Fair Responses
Responses to questions on 5th and 6th grade science tests:
- There are 26 vitamins in all, but some of the letters are yet to be discovered.
- Genetics explains why you look like your father, and if you don't, why you should.
- Vacuums are nothings. We only mention them to let them know we know they're there.
- The cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation gets blamed for a lot of things people forget to put the top on.
- Water vapor gets together in a cloud. When it is big enough to be called a drop, it does.
- Mushrooms always grow in damp places, which is why they look like umbrellas.
- Momentum is something you give a person when they go away.
- A monsoon is a French gentleman.
- The word "trousers" is an uncommon noun because it is singular at the top and plural at the bottom.
- To keep milk from turning sour, keep it in the cow.
- When planets run around and around in circles, we say they are orbiting. When people do it, we say they are crazy.
- For asphyxiation, apply artificial respiration until the patient is dead.
- Thunder is a rich source of loudness.
- One of the main causes of dust is janitors.
One-Liner #1685
I find that a duck's opinion of me is very much influenced over whether or not I have bread.
- Mitch Hedberg
"Be a Billionaire!"
and Help
Refugees and
Persecuted Christians
Not Bugged
Two frogs were sitting on a lily pad. One said to the other, "Time sure is fun when you are having flies!"
Quote #2122
"Life is unjust and this is what makes it so beautiful. Every day is a gift. Be brave and take hold of it."
- Garrison Keillor
Love: Before and After
Before - You take my breath away.
After - I feel like I'm suffocating.
Before - She says she loves the way I take control of a situation.
After - She called me a controlling, manipulative egomaniac.
Before - Saturday Night Fever
After - Monday Night Football
Before - Is that all you're having?
After - Maybe you should have just a salad, Honey.
Before - $60/doz.
After - $1.50/stem
Before - We agree on everything.
After - Doesn't she have a mind of her own?
Before - Charming and Noble
After - Chernobyl
Before - Idol
After - Idle
Before - He's completely lost without me.
After - Why won't he ever ask for directions?
Before - Croissant and cappuccino
After - Bagel and instant
Before - Oysters
After - Fishsticks
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
Three ministers sat discussing the best positions for prayer while a telephone repairman worked nearby.
I used to have a handle on life, but then it broke.
Please be quiet, we need to hear a pin drop.
"When life seems hard, the courageous do not lie down and accept defeat; instead, they are all the more determined to struggle for a better future."
My friend was a Software Engineer for a major defense company.
When my son was in the ninth grade, we reluctantly agreed to let him move into the basement. Then I realized how convenient it was to get him to the breakfast table. Before, I used to stand at the bottom of the staircase and scream his name. Now all I had to do was flick the basement light off and on, and he was here.
Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?
Locomotive: A crazy reason for doing something.
"Perhaps we make too much of what is wrong and too little of what is right. The trouble with gloom is that it feeds upon itself and depression causes more depression."
Two actors who haven't seen each other in several weeks run into each other on the street.
Question: Why did the chicken cross the road?
My belt holds up my pants and my pants have belt loops that hold up the belt. What the heck is really going on down there? Who is the real hero?
Clothes don't necessarily make the man, but a good suit makes a lawyer.
"We must meet the uncertainties of this world with the certainty of the world to come."
Patsy, 3, was at church with her parents. Her family had already given, but when the collection basket got close Patsy insisted that her mother give her some money to put in.
A few months ago, The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage bought a harp and began teaching herself how to play it. She can play the piano, organ, flute, and sometimes me. Now she has graduated to the harp. So I guess she’s preparing for heaven, where she’ll play a heavenly harp.
A two-and-a-half-year-old walked into the bathroom while her mother was putting on make-up.
Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?
Where are delinquent disk drives sent?
"My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?"
Proven ways to get along better with EVERYONE: