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Cybersalt News
Sunday greetings everyone.
Happy birthday to Grandma Cybersalt! That's right, she has completed another trip around the sun and we are both very grateful for that! Both of our ages are starting to get up there, but we realize the only alternative to having more birthdays is to stop having them so onward we press!
Speaking of birthdays, yesterday was Bill Romahn's birthday. Who is that you ask? Bill, and his wife Beth are long time subscribers who blessed me with a visit when they were in my city years ago. We did a very Canadian thing and met for coffee at Tim Hortons and I remember that time often! Bill crossed the country with a box of material for the Cybersalt Digest. He has a keen eye for great content, undoubtedly from his years of speaking and speech writing for the federal government. While the speed of copying and pasting material on the computer more often suits my crowded schedule best, I still have the box and thought I'd dip into it to share this bonus item:
A grade school teacher was grading a science test on the human body. The first question was "Name one of the major functions of your skin." One child had written: "To keep people who look at you from throwing up."
Thanks again, Bill!
Todays video share may prove to be timely if you are one of the many people who struggle with what to do with your excess camel dung. If you are crafty you might take up the amazing, ancient process of Ajrak!
Click here to watch the video.
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
Dog License
During a county-wide drive to round up all unlicensed dogs, a patrolman signaled a car to pull over to the curb.
When the driver asked why he had been stopped, the officer pointed to the big dog sitting on the seat beside him and asked, "Does your dog have a license?"
"No," the man said, "he doesn't need one."
"Yes he does," answered the officer.
"But," said the driver, "I always do all the driving."
One-Liner #1630
It's weird being the same age as old people.
"Be a Billionaire!"
and Help
Refugees and
Persecuted Christians
Ministry High
I personally think more Awana should be legalized.
Quote #2067
"The Christian Gospel is that I am so flawed that Jesus had to die for me, yet I am so loved and valued that Jesus was glad to die for me. This leads to deep humility and deep confidence at the same time. It undermines both swaggering and sniveling. I cannot feel superior to anyone, and yet I have nothing to prove to anyone. I do not think more of myself nor less of myself. Instead, I think of myself less."
- Timothy Keller, The Reason for God: Belief in an Age of Skepticism
Illustrations
While I sat in the reception area of my doctor's office, a woman rolled an elderly man in a wheelchair into the room. As she went to the receptionist's desk, the man sat there, alone and silent.
Just as I was thinking I should make small talk with him, a little boy slipped off his mother's lap and walked over to the wheelchair. Placing his hand on the man's, he said, "I know how you feel. My mom makes me ride in the stroller, too."
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . .
Mr. Cold, Please Go Away
The older I get, the more allergic I am to cold. So whenever the temperature dips below my age number, that is too cold for me.
I know some people relish the cold; that person is not me.
There are some things that I enjoy being cold. I like my iced tea to be very cold, making it rather delicious. So whenever I drink any soda (please don’t let the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage know), I like it very cold. The colder, the better as far as I’m concerned.
Read moreThe Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
The last 7 days have been very interesting around Cybersalt World Headquarters! A week ago Wednesday, our youngest daughter, her husband and their two little children came to stay with Grandma Cybersalt and me for 2 nights while some rooms at their house were painted.
Jimmy received a parrot for his birthday. The parrot was fully grown, with a very bad attitude and worse vocabulary. Every other word was a swear word; those that weren't cursing were very rude.
I dream of a world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned!
"The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall."
When I look at a patch of dandelions, I see a bunch of weeds that are going to take over my yard.
There was no mailing last Chicken Thursday because I was not feeling very well when it came time to put the final touches on the issue and send it out.
LAW OF CAT INERTIA
Ring your doorbell on your way to bed; this will clear the dogs off of the bed just long enough for you to get comfortable.
"To stay away from Christianity because part of the Bible's teaching is offensive to you assumes that if there is a God he wouldn't have any views that upset you. Does that belief make sense?"
A young boy burst into the great throne chambers of a medieval king. The boy was skipping and singing as children do. He was completely oblivious to the regal sobriety of his surroundings. Suddenly, he was intercepted by an armored solider.
To be honest, I don't always hear what I'm supposed to hear. I do have ears, but sometimes they are not working in such a way as to benefit me.
Grandma Cybersalt and I woke up to a tsunami warning yesterday. That sounds far more dramatic than it actually was because even though Cybersalt World Headquarters is only a few thousand feet away from the ocean it is also about 250 feet above sea level. We were totally safe.
Signs warning of closed roadways are frequently ignored in rural Minnesota, so highway workers barely took notice when a woman drove past their sign and over the hill before she stopped at the trench they had dug in the middle of the road.
To everyone that received a book from me for Christmas, they're due back at the library next Friday.
"When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds."
"O God, when my faith gets overlade with dust, blow it clean with the wind of your Spirit. When my habits of obedience get stiff and rusty, anoint them with the oil of your Spirit. Restore the enthusiasm of my first love for you."
A man is being tailgated by a stressed-out woman on a busy boulevard. Suddenly the light turns yellow just in front of him. He does the right thing and stops at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.
Focus is an essential part of getting something done. Sometimes my focus is more on yesterday than it is today. I waste a lot of time looking backward.
I was sorry to hear that Bob Saget, the host of America's Funniest Home Videos, passed away this past week. It bought back a flood of memories from a time when the availability and delivery of funny home videos meant gathering around a TV at home at the same time each week. The times have certainly changed!
A recent bride called her mother one evening in tears. "Oh, Mom, I tried to make Grandmother's meat loaf for dinner tonight, and it's just awful! I followed the recipe exactly, and I know I have the recipe right because it's the one you gave me. But it just didn't come out right, and I'm so upset. I wanted this to be so special for George because he loves meat loaf. What could have gone wrong?"
So if a cow doesn't produce milk, is it a milk dud or an udder failure?
Sign on a diaper service truck: "Rock a dry baby."
"When in doubt, look intelligent!"
* Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he/she is supposed to be doing.