Cybersalt Digest Archive

Click here to view this edition online!  

Cybersalt News

Oh look, Turkey Thursday!  Yes, in honor of US Thanksgiving, we're giving the chickens a rest today. However, with this week's picture we are giving the turkeys a bit of a rest too.

That is the Quetzalcoatlus Northropi, the largest known flying animal that ever existed! It was a picture suggested to me by Cybersaltine A. Alexander back in February. I think it's a great picture for Thanksgiving, because we can all agree to be thankful that this is not flying around anymore. The savings on windshield deductibles is one reason and - oh yeah - the fact these things aren't around eating us is pretty good too!

Now, you may be wondering why it took from February until now for me to use this picture. With the end of the year approaching I am working on a zero inbox for my emails. I ended last year all caught up on my 2020 emails. This year my goal is to have managed all emails from 2021 and 2019.

For this week's grammar walk of shame, I have to agree that I did not fare very well in last week's news when I reported Cybersalt World Headquarters had "faired" well in the big storm that hit our province. Thanks to J. Pierce, R. Hoskyn, and H. Bruulsema for catching that.

Today's video share is a double header of two commercials that show the dangers of having a smart house that maybe isn't as smart as we would like it to be:
Click here to watch the first video.
Click here to watch the second video.

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.

~ Pastor Tim

And after all is said and done...the kitchen cleaned up, the football game is over, the kids have FINALLY gone to bed and you lie quietly thinking about your day... your tummy starts to rumble...

'Twas the night of Thanksgiving, But I just couldn't sleep.
I tried counting backwards, I tried counting sheep;
The leftovers beckoned --- The dark meat and white,
But I fought the temptation with all of my might.
Tossing and turning with anticipation...
The thought of a snack became infatuation...

So I raced to the kitchen, flung open the door,
And gazed at the fridge full of goodies galore.
I gobbled up turkey and buttered potatoes,
Pickles and carrots, beans and tomatoes.

I felt myself swelling so plump and so round,
Till all of a sudden, I rose off the ground !!

I crashed through the ceiling...Floating into the sky...
With a mouthful of pudding and a handful of pie,
But I managed to yell as I soared past the trees...

HAPPY EATING TO ALL !!
PASS THE CRANBERRIES PLEASE !!

I won't say I'm worn out, but I don't get near the curb on trash day.

"Be a Billionaire!"

and Help

Refugees and

Persecuted Christians

What kind of music did Pilgrims listen to? Plymouth Rock, of course.

"If you want to turn your life around, try thankfulness. It will change your life mightily."

- Gerald Good

A 4-year-old boy who was asked to return thanks before Thanksgiving dinner happily obliged. The family members bowed their heads in expectation.

He began his prayer, thanking God for all his friends, naming them one by one. Then he thanked God for Mommy, Daddy, brother, sister, Grandma, Grandpa, and all his aunts and uncles. Then he began to thank God for the food.

He gave thanks for the turkey, the dressing, the fruit salad, the cranberry sauce, the pies, the cakes, even the Cool Whip. Then he paused, and everyone waited ... and waited.

After a long silence, the young fellow looked up at his mother and asked, "If I thank God for the broccoli, won't he know that I'm lying?"

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . . 

Choices are a very important part of our everyday life. I am what I am today because of choices I made yesterday. I would like to blame someone else, but the truth of the matter is, I am what I am because of my choices.

I must confess that there are a lot of bad choices I have made throughout my life. I will not name them right here, in fact, I'm trying to forget most of them. It’s a good thing I can’t relive yesterday.

However, I have made a few choices that I have made in my life that has been very good. I don't focus on my bad choices because I can get discouraged. But, I do focus on my good choices because that's a real source of encouragement.

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.

Click here to view this edition online!  

Cybersalt News

Sunday greetings everyone.

Thank you to everyone who has asked about the situation here in British Columbia. We are fine at Cybersalt World Headquarters, here on Vancouver Island. The biggest hit to our infrastructure (the main mountain pass out out of town) is repaired to the point where it is back to being open 24 hours a day while more repairs are being done.

The major issue we still face locally is that nobody (neither government nor media) seems to be able to figure out that when you tell people not to panic buy things, a lot of people take that as their cue to panic buy things. So right now, until December 1, we are restricted to 30 litres of fuel (approx. 8 US gallons/6.5 imperial gallons) per stop at a gas station.

The really big, huge mess is on the lower mainland and in the coastal mountains - a 40 minute drive, 90 minute ferry ride, and another 60 minute drive away. For those interested in the latest in details we like to get our news from globalnews.ca/bc/

In other Cybersalt related news, I learned recently that Rev. James Snyder, who writes the "God's Penman" articles, suffered a heart attack earlier this month. Here is the note he shared on Facebook, "Last Thursday, November 12, I had a heart attack. I was taken to the hospital and on Saturday, November 13, I had a Stent put in one of my arteries. That artery was 90% clogged. On Sunday afternoon I was released from the hospital and went home. Now I am recovering from home with the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage taking care of me. Who knew I even had a heart?"  If you want to send James a note, his email address is jamessnyder2@att.net (you can always find that at the end of each of his articles.)

Today's video share is a commercial that had me thinking both 'that would be fun to do' and "I hope this doesn't give me nightmares," lol.

Click Here to Watch the Video

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!

~ Pastor Tim

Methuselah ate what he found on his plate
And never, as people do now
Did he note the amount of the calorie count
He ate it because it was chow.

He wasn't disturbed as at dinner he sat
Devouring a roast or a pie
To think it was lacking the right kind of fat
Or a couple of vitamins shy.

He cheerfully chewed each species of food
Unmindful of troubles or fears
Lest his health might be hurt
By some fancy dessert
And he lived more than 900 years!

Be the kind of woman who, when your feet hit the floor first thing in the morning, the devil says, "Oh no, here she comes!"

"Be a Billionaire!"

and Help

Refugees and

Persecuted Christians

“As easy as 3.14159265358979323846264338327950288419716”

"The ministry of mercy, then, is the best advertising a church can have. It convinces a community that this church provides people with actions for their problems, not only talk. It shows the community that this church is compassionate."

- Timothy Keller

If you're even half-way old, you will remember when:

* Your computer's ready-mode was a black screen with a single cursor, and there was no such thing as Windows; there was just "DOS."

* Your phone choices and bills were much easier because AT&T was a good old-fashioned monopoly.

* There was this amazing new video game called "Pong" and you thought it had the most advanced graphics imaginable.

* The first true laptop computer was a Radio Shack TRS-80. If you were hip, you referred to it affectionately as a TRASH-80.

* Sean Connery was Pierce Brosnan.

* The astonishing mobility was a cordless phone you could take around the house; it got better reception than the one you can now take all over the country.

* Mail was something you wrote on a piece of paper and put into a stamped envelope. And you didn't get 110 unsolicited pieces of it every morning promising great riches or body enhancements.

* There was a guy on "60 Minutes" named Mike Wallace who was so old you figured he'd retire at the latest by 1990.

* No normal person had speakers on a computer.

* The diners at the next restaurant table were smoking cigarettes and you barely noticed.

* A 1-gig hard drive seemed as big as a warehouse.

* The only thing you knew about Robin Williams was he played a weird alien named "Mork" on television.

* An 8-track tape the size of a paperback book was an advanced concept in compact music recording.

* And jokes were always told in person!

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . . 

Choices are a very important part of our everyday life. I am what I am today because of choices I made yesterday. I would like to blame someone else, but the truth of the matter is, I am what I am because of my choices.

I must confess that there are a lot of bad choices I have made throughout my life. I will not name them right here, in fact, I'm trying to forget most of them. It’s a good thing I can’t relive yesterday.

However, I have made a few choices that I have made in my life that has been very good. I don't focus on my bad choices because I can get discouraged. But, I do focus on my good choices because that's a real source of encouragement.

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.

Click here to view this edition online!  

Cybersalt News

Oh look, Chicken Thursday!

I don't know if you've heard it in your news or not, but our province got walloped by a 100 year rain event on Monday. Our transportation network is so damaged that the West Coast is cut off from the rest of Canada. OK, technically they are cut off from us, but you get the idea.

British Columbia is very mountainous so we don't have many highways to get to places once you leave the lower mainland. One of the major routes will not be passable for months!

Here in Victoria, on Vancouver Island, Cybersalt World Headquarters faired very well. We lost power for about 3 hours and that is all.

In other news, last week one of the Cybersaltines I thanked in the Cybersalt News was S. Wiggle. She emailed the following to me:

"While I am fairly sure you didn't mean to, thank you for the giggle. With previous emails, you have gently tested us with 'different' spellings of words to see who is really reading (as opposed to 'unreally'?) them. Here's where my giggle happened and you are certainly not the first (sorry) nor will be the last, to add an extra 'g' in my (my husbands', actually) name. At least, I am assuming (not the best thing to do, I know) the 'S. Wiggle' listed referred to me."

Well. S., it was you!

Now, this typo is unusually awkward for me. As you know, I like to poke fun at myself and riff when I make mistakes, but I feel it's just safer for me to not say anything this time because this mistake involves wiggling and giggling and I don't trust myself, lol. 

So with that, let's just move on to today's video share - the song that S. and her husband had their first dance to at their wedding reception!
Click here to watch the video.

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.

~ Pastor Tim

Diamonds are a girl's best friend.

Dogs are a man's best friend.

Now you know which gender is smarter.

Or do you?

When you can't find the sunshine, be the sunshine.

"Be a Billionaire!"

and Help

Refugees and

Persecuted Christians

"Every time we throw a party, she beats me to the punch."

"Nothing you do for children is ever wasted."

- Garrison Keillor

When a guy's printer type began to grow faint, he called local repair shop where a friendly man informed him that the printer probably needed only to be cleaned. Because the store charged $50 for such cleanings, he told him he might be better off reading the printer's manual and trying the job himself.

Pleasantly surprised by his candor, he asked, "Does your boss know that you discourage business?"

"Actually, it's my boss's idea," the employee replied sheepishly. "We usually make more money on repairs if we let people try to fix things themselves first."

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.

Click here to view this edition online!  

Cybersalt News

Sunday greetings everyone.

Congratulations to J.J. Westberg, A. Doherty, and W. McLauren who correctly answered my riddle last Sunday.

To remind you: "Whilst getting something in the backyard of Cybersalt World Headquarters yesterday, I noticed this fruit tree with a single piece of fruit on it. Here is a riddle for you: If I were to ask, "How much fruit is on this tree?" what answer would be correct if you wrote it down, put possibly (maybe even probably) taken as incorrect if you spoke it?

The answer is "One pear."

However, I want to give bonus points to A. Doherty who answered, "One pear but not a pair. Fair fare."

Now for a bit of housekeeping. Recently a couple of you have let me know you were unsubscribed from Cybersalt mailings without requesting to be unsubscribed. There are a couple of reasons this can happen and I've created a page explaining how this can happen and what to do if it happens to you. www.cybersalt.org/faqs/why-was-i-unsubscribed 

Today's video share is an episode of "Songs of Praise," a BBC program that goes to different churches and records congregations singing. For sure these churches are putting their best foot forward for the show (I'm guessing they aren't always as packed), but I enjoyed the music, the message, and pondering how much everyone must have enjoyed the activity. Times like that are a precious gift - especially to pastors, lol! 
Click here to watch the video.

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!

~ Pastor Tim

If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one at:
https://www.cybersalt.org/pastor-tim-s-cleanlaugh-site/what-is-a-goober

Newscast: "In other news, 6 Brazilian men die in a sky diving accident."

Goober gasps incredulously: "Oh, oh it's horrible!"

Goober's friend: "Yeah. It is sad. But you know what? They were skydiving and there's always that risk involved."

Goober, holding back tears: "It just seems like so many! ... How many IS a Brazilian?"

- Thanks to list member and friend Ralph L. for this contribution to our Goober jokes.

Being an adult is the dumbest thing I have ever done.

"Be a Billionaire!"

and Help

Refugees and

Persecuted Christians

The Flood is over and the ark has landed. Noah lets all the animals out and says, "Go forth and multiply."

A few months later, Noah decides to take a stroll and see how the animals are doing. Everywhere he looks he finds baby animals. Everyone is doing fine except for one pair of little snakes. "What's the problem?" says Noah.

"Cut down some trees and let us live there," say the snakes.

Noah follows their advice. Several more weeks pass. Noah checks on the snakes again. He finds lots of little snakes, and everybody is happy. Noah asks, "Want to tell me how the trees helped?"

"Certainly," say the snakes. "We're adders, so we need logs to multiply."

"Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose."

- Garrison Keillor

While stationed in Washington, D.C., a man used Arlington National Cemetery as a shortcut on his way to give a briefing at Fort Myer.

To his surprise, he encountered a roadblock manned by the military police. An MP approached him and asked in a stern voice, "Are you supposed to be here?"

Unsure of what to say, he replied, "Not yet."

The MP held back a smile and waved him on.

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . . 

I have learned that you don't miss something until it is gone. Unfortunately, sometimes, it's too late.

Over six weeks ago, or was it nine months, I took my truck in for a regular checkup. I was going away for the week, so I thought I would drop the truck off and let them work on it when they had time, and then when I come back, it would be ready.

I love it when a plan comes together?

My family went up to Georgia for a family reunion. It was also a time to celebrate our 50th wedding anniversary. Time goes by when we're not really focused on what's happening. That's me to a T.

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.