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Cybersalt News
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
Let me tell you, Pastor Troy Tobey was not expecting to see his picture in today's mailing! He pastors a church in Southern Ontario, Canada and is a long time Cybersaltine. He sent me an item he wrote for Christmas, which you will find as a bonus item in today's Cybersalt Digest. Thanks Troy!
A few weeks ago I shared two "Smart House" commercials. Today's video share is another one that I held back for closer to Christmas!
Click here to watch the first video.
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.
~ Pastor Tim
Christmas Notes
Notes between Martha Stewart and Erma Bombeck
Hello Erma, This perfectly delightful note is being sent on paper I made myself to tell you what I have been up to. Since it snowed last night, I got up early and made a sled with old barn wood and a glue gun. I hand-painted it in gold leaf, got out my loom, and made a blanket in peaches and mauves.
Then to make the sled complete, I made a white horse to pull it from DNA that I just had sitting around in my craft room. By then, it was time to start making the placemats and napkins for my 20 breakfast guests. I'm serving the old standard Stewart twelve-course breakfast, but I'll let you in on a little secret: I didn't have time to make the table and chairs this morning, so I used the ones I had on hand.
Before I moved the table into the dining room, I decided to add just a touch of the holidays. So, I repainted the room in pinks and stencilled gold stars on the ceiling. Then, while the home-made bread was rising, I took antique candle moulds and made the dishes (exactly the same shade of pink) to use for breakfast. These were made from Hungarian clay, which you can get in almost any Hungarian craft store.
Well, I must run. I need to finish the buttonholes on the dress I'm wearing for breakfast. I'll get out the sled and drive this note to the post office as soon as the glue dries on the envelope I'll be making. Hope my breakfast guests don't stay too long - - I have 40,000 cranberries to string with bay leaves before my speaking engagement at noon. It's a good thing.
Love, Martha
P.S. When I made the ribbon for this typewriter, I used 1/8-inch gold gauze. I soaked the gauze in a mixture of white grapes and blackberries, which I grew, picked and crushed last week just for fun.
<*><*><*><*><*><*><*>
Dear Martha,
I'm writing this on the back of an old shopping list, pay no attention to the coffee and jelly stains. I'm 20 minutes late getting my daughter up for school, packing a lunch with one hand, on the phone with the dog pound, seems old Ruff needs bailing out, again. Burnt my arm on the curling iron when I was trying to make those cute curly fries, how DO they do that?
Still can't find the scissors to cut out some snowflakes so I tried using an old disposable razor ... trashed the tablecloth. Tried that cranberry thing, frozen cranberries mushed up after I defrosted them in the microwave. Oh, and don't use Fruity Pebbles as a substitute in that Rice Krispie snowball recipe, unless you happen to like a disgusting shade that resembles puke! The smoke alarm is going off.
Talk to ya later, Erma
One-Liner #1620
If 2021 was a math word problem:
If you're going down a river at 2 mph and your canoe loses a wheel, how much pancake mix would you need to re-shingle your roof?
"Be a Billionaire!"
and Help
Refugees and
Persecuted Christians
Rare Chicken
Why is the Tibetan rooster unusual?
Himalayan!
Quote #2057
"I am the Gate for the sheep. All those others are up to no good - sheep stealers, every one of them. But the sheep didn't listen to them. I am the Gate. Anyone who goes through me will be cared for - will freely go in and out, and find pasture. A thief is only there to steal and kill and destroy. I came so they can have real and eternal life, more and better life than they ever dreamed of."
Jesus - as recorded in The Gospel of John chapter 10
Toothless Grin - Toothless Grin
A true story by Sharon Palmer.
I was doing some last-minute Christmas shopping in a toy store and decided to look at Barbie dolls for my nieces.
A nicely-dressed little girl was excitedly looking through the Barbie dolls as well, with a roll of money clamped tightly in her little hand. When she came upon a Barbie she liked, she would turn and ask her father if she had enough money to buy it. He usually said "yes," but she would keep looking and keep going through their ritual of, "Do I have enough?"
As she was looking, a little boy wandered in across the aisle and started sorting through the Pokémon toys.
He was dressed neatly, but in clothes that were obviously rather worn, and wearing a jacket that was probably a couple of sizes too small. He, too, had money in his hand, but it looked to be no more than five dollars or so, at the most. He was with his father as well, and kept picking up the Pokémon video toys. Each time he picked one up and looked at his father, his father shook his head, "No."
The little girl had apparently chosen her Barbie, a beautifully dressed, glamorous doll that would have been the envy of every little girl on the block.
However, she had stopped and was watching the interchange between the little boy and his father. Rather dejectedly, the boy had given up on the video games and had chosen what looked like a book of stickers instead.
He and his father then started walking through another aisle of the store.
The little girl put her Barbie back on the shelf, and ran over to the Pokémon games. She excitedly picked up one that was lying on top of the other toys, and raced toward the checkout, after speaking with her father.
I picked up my purchases and got in line behind them. Then, much to the little girl's obvious delight, the little boy and his father got in line behind me.
After the toy was paid for and bagged, the little girl handed it back to the cashier and whispered something in her ear. The cashier smiled and put the package under the counter.
I paid for my purchases and was rearranging things in my purse when the little boy came up to the cashier. The cashier rang up his purchases and then said, "Congratulations, you are my hundredth customer today, and you win a prize!" With that, she handed the little boy the Pokémon game, and he could only stare in disbelief.
It was, he said, exactly what he had wanted! The little girl and her father had been standing at the doorway during all of this, and I saw the biggest, prettiest, toothless grin on that little girl that I have ever seen in my life Then they walked out the door, and I followed, close behind them.
As I walked back to my car, in amazement over what I had just witnessed, I heard the father ask his daughter why she had done that. I'll never forget what she said to him.
"Daddy, didn't Nana and PawPaw want me to buy something that would make me happy?"
He said, "Of course they did, Honey."
To which the little girl replied, "Well, I just did!"
With that, she giggled and started skipping toward their car. Apparently, she had decided on the answer to her own question of, "Do I have enough?"
I feel very privileged to have witnessed the true spirit of Christmas in that toy store, in the form of a little girl who understands more about the reason for the season than most adults I know!
May God bless her and her parents, just as she blessed that little boy, and me, that day!
Merry Christmas All
By Sharon Palmer, published under the title "Toothless Grin" and also "Something to Make Me Happy." http://www.authorsden.com/sharonmasonpalmer
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
T’was a month before Christmas
T’was a month before Christmas, and all through the church...
The preacher was pacing, as he'd been caught in the lurch.
He loved tinsel, turkey and snow on Christmas day...
But 1-2-3-4 sermons of Advent... what would he say?
Sermons on shepherds, a message on magi,
Year after year and now the well has run dry.
He sat at his desk, not at all very merry
His nose buried in a Matthew Henry commentary.
Soon he was sleeping, like a long winter's nap...
Until he woke with a start from a slap on his cap.
What to his wondering eyes did appear...
A man there did stand with a grin ear to ear.
“Are you the ghost of sermons past?” the preacher inquired.
“Are you here to warn me to shape up or be fired?
Will you tell me my sermons were dull, dry and uninspired?”
But the man said, “Heck no. I'm the janitor you hired.
I was dusting the hallway when I looked in your door.
I thought you were praying ‘til I heard you snore.
I thought I’d wake you so you'd get your work done.
But I have much to do so now I must run.”
“But wait,” said the preacher, “What should I preach?
Creative thoughts and ideas seem so out of reach.”
The janitor spoke up so lively and quick...
He spoke with the hope that his words would stick...
“Preach passion, preach power, preach hope and conviction.
Preach comfort, and truth... but do not preach fiction!
Stand tall in the pulpit, and stay true to your call
And don't stop sermonizing 'til you've said it all!
Throw open the windows for the world needs to hear
And tear open the shutters without any fear!
The world don't need clever or conjecture or cute.
Preach gospel truth that the devil can't refute.
Preach Jesus from cradle to cross to the tomb.
Preach freedom to captives and joy through the gloom.
Preach Jesus so soundly, so strong and so true....
That they think only of Him, and not of you.”
He spoke no more, but went back to his work...
And the preacher thought, "Wow, am I ever a jerk!
I thought I needed new ideas and fresh thoughts,
But the janitor helped me reconnect all the dots.
Its not about re-creating the old, old story
Its about preaching so God gets all the glory!
I've been preoccupied with what they think of me...
What they think of him is my priority.”
Let us preach Jesus, from baby to king.
To him be the glory in everything!
Preach Christmas to all, as to all we are reaching...
Merry Christmas to all, and to all, happy preaching!
Pastor Troy Tobey,
Lakeshore Community Church,
Bright's Grove Ontario
Copyright 2021, Used with Permission
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
Mandatory mask wearing and a 50% attendance capacity restriction have returned for churches in our province. I really appreciate what my pastor wrote to our church family and thought I would share it with you. You can read "Ferocious Faith in the Face of Fatigue" at: 
'Twas the nocturnal segment of the diurnal period preceding the annual yuletide celebration, and throughout our place of residence, kinetic activity was not in evidence among the possessors of this potential, including that species of domestic rodent known as Mus Musculus. Hosiery was meticulously suspended from the forward edge of the wood-burning caloric apparatus, pursuant to our anticipatory pleasure regarding in imminent visitation from an eccentric philanthropist among whose folkloric appellations is the honorific title of St. Nicholas.
Remember back when we were kids and every time it was below zero outside they closed school? Yeah, me neither.
"Biscuits and sermons both improve with shortening."
The 'No Vacancy' signs over all the motels in Bethlehem were for your sake. "For your sake he became poor." (2 Corinthians 8:9)
'T'was the night before Christmas
Christmas is the time of the year for some marvelous traditions, and it seems as though each area has its own. The ghosts of many Christmases past haunt us today.
According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers until after they give birth in the spring.
Senility has been a smooth transition for me.
"The Insomniac" by Eliza Wake
"Because it is short, life is packed with challenging possibilities. Because it is uncertain, it's filled with challenging adjustments. I'm convinced that's much of what Jesus meant when he promised us an abundant life. Abundant with challenges, running over with possibilities, filled with opportunities to adapt, shift, alter, and change. Come to think of it, that's the secret of staying young. It is also the path that leads to optimism and motivation."
Three weeks from today is Boxing Day, which is known in many parts of the world as "the day after Christmas." Wow - time is flying!
Planning a Christmas weekend of entertaining guests, I made a list of things I needed to do, including taking food out of the freezer and grocery shopping.
I ate salad for dinner ... mostly croutons and tomatoes... really just one big round crouton covered with tomato sauce, and cheese ... FINE, it was a pizza.... OK, I ate a pizza! Are you happy now?
More than five million Americans are overweight.
"Winter is a season of recovery and preparation."
In December 1903, after many attempts, the Wright brothers were successful in getting their "flying machine" off the ground.
Christmas is the one time of the year when it is OK to be traditional. That may be the reason why so many people look forward to the Christmas holidays.
'Twas the night before finals,
When you think about it, it's the worst possible place for her to sell seashells.
I heard that the New Orleans football team has a new sponsor, "I Can't Believe It's not Butter."
"The hard soil and four months of snow make the inhabitants of the northern temperate zone wiser and abler than his fellow who enjoys the fixed smile of the tropics."
In high school I was always self-conscious about my height.