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Cybersalt News
Sunday greetings everyone.
Cybersalt World Headquarters is a pretty noisy place this weekend as we enjoy some family time with two of our kids and their families. One of the things on the agenda is some planning to redo our upstairs floors. Truthfully, we should have replaced our wrinkly carpets when we moved into this house in mid-November, 1996, but now it's really past due to add a new face to our floor! Our daughter-in-law is the one that knows colours and our son is an excellent installer, so Grandma Cybersalt and I are letting them plan and handle everything - well, not everything. They are still letting us pay, lol.
Oh yeah, we can also see a container ship on fire in the straight that our house overlooks. The ship is actually 23KM (14 miles) away from our house, in US waters, but of course all of us who chare the coast of the Salish Sea are concerned.
This is also a big weekend for our eldest and her family in Toronto. Our son-in-law, Matt, is being ordained today. We are very proud of them. Matt is a very good pastor, possessing gifts and skills that surpass mine in a number of areas.
For today's video share I am going to double up again - maybe.
To watch a news story about the fire on the container ship, click here.
I'm not sure if they are live streaming Matt's ordination, but at 5:00pm Toronto time we'll be Sunday%20greetings%20everyone.
%20Cybersalt%20World%20Headquarters%20is%20a%20pretty%20noisy%20place%20this%20weekend%20as%20we%20enjoy%20some%20family%20time%20with%20two%20of%20our%20kids%20and%20their%20families.%20One%20of%20the%20things%20on%20the%20agenda%20is%20some%20planning%20to%20redo%20our%20upstairs%20floors.%20Truthfully,%20we%20should%20have%20replaced%20our%20wrinkly%20carpets%20when%20we%20moved%20into%20the%20house%20in%20mid-November,%201996,%20but%20now%20it's%20really%20past%20due%20to%20add%20a%20new%20face%20to%20our%20floor!%20Our%20daughter-in-law%20is%20the%20one%20that%20knows%20colours%20and%20our%20son%20is%20an%20excellent%20installer,%20so%20Grandma%20Cybersalt%20are%20letting%20them%20plan%20and%20handle%20everything%20-%20well,%20not%20everything.%20They%20are%20still%20letting%20us%20pay,%20lol.
%20Oh%20yeah,%20there%20is%20also%20a%20container%20ship%20on%20fire%20in%20the%20straight%20that%20our%20house%20looks%20over.%20The%20ship%20is%20actually%2023KM%20(14%20miles)%20away%20from%20our%20house,%20in%20US%20waters,%20but%20of%20course%20all%20of%20us%20who%20border%20on%20the%20Salish%20Sea%20are%20concerned.
%20This%20is%20also%20a%20big%20weekend%20for%20our%20eldest%20and%20her%20family%20in%20Toronto.%20Our%20son-in-law,%20Matt,%20is%20being%20ordained%20today.%20We%20are%20very%20proud%20of%20them.%20Matt%20is%20a%20very%20good%20pastor,%20possessing%20gifts%20and%20skills%20that%20surpass%20mine%20in%20a%20number%20of%20areas.
%20So%20for%20today's%20video%20share%20I%20am%20going%20to%20double%20up%20again%20-%20maybe.
%20To%20watch%20a%20news%20story%20about%20the%20fire%20on%20the%20container%20ship%20-%20click%20here.
%20I'm%20not%20sure%20if%20they%20are%20live%20streaming%20Matt's%20ordination,%20but%20at%205:00pm%20Toronto%20time%20we'll%20be%20clicking%20here%20to%20see%20if%20they%20are:
Enjoy%20the%20rest%20of%20today's%20mailing!
%20~%20Pastor%20Tim
" target="_blank" rel="noopener">clicking here to see if they are.Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
Bystander
Man: Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a girl?
Bystander: It's a girl. She's my daughter.
Man: Oh, please forgive me, sir. I had no idea you were her father.
Bystander: I'm not. I'm her mother.
One-Liner #1606
I always carry a pebble with me to throw at people who sing Christmas songs in October ... I call it my jingle bell rock.
"Be a Billionaire!"
and Help
Refugees and
Persecuted Christians
Tarmacattack
Heard on Southwest Airlines just after a very hard landing in Salt Lake City:
The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, "That was quite a bump and I know what ya'll are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendants' fault. It was the asphalt!"
Quote #2043
"There is of course no intellectual discipline which is more exacting than the discipline which makes it possible to enter into another person's point of view, whose antecedents and training and environment, moral or intellectual or theological, are widely different from one's own."
- J. F. Bethune-Baker (1908)
Letters to Pastors
**Dear Pastor, I know God loves everybody but He never met my sister. Yours sincerely, Arnold. Age 8, Nashville.
**Dear Pastor, Please say in your sermon that Peter Peterson has been a good boy all week. I am Peter Peterson. Sincerely, Pete. Age 9, Phoenix
**Dear Pastor, My father should be a minister. Every day he gives us a sermon about something. Robert, Age 11, Anderson
**Dear Pastor, I'm sorry I can't leave more money in the plate, but my father didn't give me a raise in my allowance. Could you have a sermon about a raise in my allowance? Love, Patty. Age 10, New Haven
**Dear Pastor, My mother is very religious. She goes to play bingo at church every week even if she has a cold. Yours truly, Annette. Age 9, Albany
**Dear Pastor, I would like to go to heaven someday because I know my brother won't be there. Stephen. Age 8, Chicago
**Dear Pastor, I think a lot more people would come to your church if you moved it to Disneyland. Loreen. Age 9. Tacoma
**Dear Pastor, I liked your sermon where you said that good health is more important than money but I still want a raise in my allowance. Sincerely, Eleanor. Age 12, Sarasota
**Dear Pastor, Please pray for all the airline pilots. I am flying to California tomorrow. Laurie. Age 10, New York City
**Dear Pastor, I hope to go to heaven some day but later than sooner. Love, Ellen, age 9. Athens
**Dear Pastor, Please say a prayer for our Little League team. We need God's help or a new pitcher. Thank you. Alexander. Age 10, Raleigh
**Dear Pastor, My father says I should learn the Ten Commandments. But I don't think I want to because we have enough rules already in my house. Joshua. Age 10, South Pasadena
**Dear Pastor, Who does God pray to? Is there a God for God? Sincerely, Christopher. Age 9, Titusville
**Dear Pastor, Are there any devils on earth? I think there may be one in my class. Carla. Age 10, Salina
**Dear Pastor, I liked your sermon on Sunday. Especially when it was finished. Ralph, Age 11, Akron
**Dear Pastor, How does God know the good people from the bad people? Do you tell Him or does He read about it in the newspapers? Sincerely, Marie. Age 9, Lewiston
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . .
And Then There Were Four
Over a year ago, I got out of bed, went to the kitchen for my morning cup of coffee and then I went to the back porch to see if I had any visitors.
I have foxes, possums, cats, and raccoons (who are politically correct and wear masks when they come). I put food out for them, and they help themselves. Every morning the food dishes are empty and waiting to be filled.
It's great at night to look out and see some of these critters coming in for their evening snack.
Read moreThe Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
I have good news and bad news.
The police recently busted a man selling 'secret formula' tablets he claimed gave eternal youth.
I thought the dryer made my clothes shrink; turns out it was the refrigerator.
Two fish are in a tank.
“One important dimension of prayer is finding your own ritual and your own routine. Just like Daniel, you need to find your open window toward Jerusalem.”
A very successful lawyer parked his brand new Lexus in front of the office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out, a truck came along, too close to the curb, and completely tore off the driver's door of the Lexus.
Sunday greetings everyone.
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.
I got pulled over in the HOV lane for driving alone. I said that due to social distancing, my passenger was in the car behind me!
Today I saw a dwarf climbing down a prison wall. I thought to myself, "That's a little condescending!"
"Humility is a strange flower; it grows best in winter weather, and under storms of affliction."
In promulgating your esoteric cogitations or articulating your superficial sentimentalities, and amicable philosophical or psychological observations, beware of platitudinous ponderosity. Let your conversational communications possess a compacted conciseness, a clarified comprehensibility, a coalescent cogency, and a concatenated consistency. Eschew obfuscation and all conglomeration of flatulent garrulity, jejune babblement, and asinine affectations. Let your extemporaneous descantings and unpremeditated expatiations have intelligibility and voracious vivacity without rodomontade or thrasonical bombast. Sedulously avoid all polysyllabic profundity, pompous prolificacy, and vain vapid verbosity.
At the beginning of the week, the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage informed me that she and some of her friends would be going thrift store shopping on Thursday.
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
Two youngsters were closely examining bathroom scales on display at the department store.
Went shopping while hungry; now I'm the proud owner of aisle 6.
I have gotten that dreaded furniture disease.
"Mankind invented the atomic bomb, but no mouse would ever construct a mousetrap."
This insurance company's contract with a government agency had just expired, and a technician fielded the call from an agency bureaucrat reminding him that he needed to destroy the agency-provided software.
Sunday greetings everyone - and happy Canadian Thanksgiving, or as we call it up here in Canada, "Thanksgiving."
May your stuffing be tasty,
I don't have grey hair; I have wisdom highlights.
Pessimists are born, not made; their blood type is B Negative.
“Men and women who turn their lives over to God will discover that He can make a lot more out of their lives than they can. He can deepen their joys, expand their vision, quicken their minds, strengthen their muscles, lift their spirits, multiply their blessings, increase their opportunities, comfort their souls, and pour out peace.”
Thank You, GOD for everything
Have you ever had one of those Déjà vu moments? The other week I was in the shopping mall to pick up some items for the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage. She shops so much that I have to help her on occasion.