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Lena passed away and Ole called 911.  The 911 operator told Ole that she would send someone out right away.  "Where do you live?" asked the operator.

Ole replied, "At da end of Eucalyptus Drive." The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?"

There was a long pause and finally Ole said, "How 'bout if I drag her over to Oak Street and you pick her up der?"

One woman was bragging to her next-door neighbor about her son, a college student. "Why, our son is so brilliant, every time we get a letter from him we have to go to the dictionary."

"You're lucky," the neighbor said. "Every time we get a letter from ours, we have to go to the bank!"

More Church Bulletins Bloopers

- The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy."

- During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.

- Next Sunday Mrs.  Vinson will be soloist for the morning service.  The pastor will then speak on "It's a Terrible Experience."

- Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing services will be discontinued until further notice.

- Stewardship Offertory: "Jesus Paid It All"

- The music for today's service was all composed by George Friedrich Handel in celebration of the 300th anniversary of his birth.

- Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

- The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m.  The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

- The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success.  Special thanks are due to the minister's daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her.

- 22 members were present at the church meeting held at the home of Mrs.
Marsha Crutchfield last evening.  Mrs. Crutchfield and Mrs. Rankin sang a duet, The Lord Knows Why.

- A song fest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday.

- Today's Sermon: HOW MUCH CAN A MAN DRINK?  with hymns from a full choir.

- On a church bulletin during the minister's illness: GOD IS GOOD Dr. Hargreaves is better.

You know you work in Corporate America in the 90's if:

- You've sat at the same desk for 4 years and worked for three different companies.

- Your company welcome sign is attached with Velcro.

- Your resume is on a diskette in your pocket.

- Your company logo on your badge is applied with stick-um.

- You get really excited about a 2% pay raise.

- You learn about your layoff on CNN.

- Your biggest loss from a system crash is that you lose your best jokes.

- Your supervisor doesn't have the ability to do your job.

- You sit in a cubicle smaller than your bedroom closet.

- Salaries of the members on the Executive Board are higher than all the Third World countries' annual budgets combined.

- You think lunch is just a meeting to which you drive.

- It's dark when you drive to and from work.

- Fun is when issues are assigned to someone else.

- Communication is something your group is having problems with.

- You see a good-looking person and know it is a visitor.

- Free food left over from meetings is your main staple.

- Weekends are those days your spouse makes you stay home.

- Being sick is defined as can't walk or you're in the hospital.

- Art involves a white board.

- You're already late on the assignment you just got.

- When 100% of your time means 20 hours.

- You work 200 hours for the $100 bonus check and jubilantly say "Oh wow, thanks!"

- Dilbert cartoons hang outside every cube.

- Your boss' favorite lines are "when you get a few minutes." "in your spare time," "when you're freed up," and "I have an opportunity for you."

- Vacation is something you roll over to next year or a check you get every January.

- Your relatives and family describe your job as "works with computers."

- Change is the norm.

- The only reason you recognize your kids is because their pictures are hanging in your cube.

- You only have makeup for fluorescent lighting.

- You read this entire list and understood it.