2017 - Monthly Archive - Results from #480

06 May

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

2423

4 min read

You Can’t Have Your Cake and Eat It Too

I was waiting in line at the grocery store minding my own business, which is a full-time job these days. I have worked hard over the years to master this “minding my own business.” I have not been all... read more..

06 May

Quotes

Susan Davis

2092

<1min

Quote #1634

"It is not my responsibility in what form God answers my questions for guidance. That, is quite safe in His hands. The only thing that I know is that God is light, and not darkness. Those who trust read more..

05 May

Clean Puns

Susan Davis

2038

<1min

Minute Meal

Yesterday, I ate a clock. It was very time consuming. Especially when I went back for seconds.... read more..

05 May

One-liners

Susan Davis

2272

<1min

One-liner #1187

A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it.... read more..

05 May

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

2307

2 min read

Answered Prayer #2

A voyaging ship was wrecked during a storm at sea and only two of the men on it were able to swim to a small, desert like island. The two survivors, not knowing what else to do, agreed that they had n... read more..

05 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4013

<1min

10 Common Canine Complaints

1. Building mounted fire hose connections are no substitute for a real hydrant. 2. "Why can't I just make an appointment with the groomer to get my nails done? I can do without the shampoo, blow-dry read more..

04 May

Pearly Gates Jokes

Pastor Tim

3825

<1min

You Must Be a Teacher If

You Must Be A Teacher If... ~ You believe the staff room should have a Valium salt lick. ~ You want to slap the next person who says, "Must be nice to have all your holidays and summers free." ~ Yo... read more..

04 May

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

1372

<1min

Cybersalt News - May 4, 2017

Oh look, Chicken Thursday! There was no mailing last Sunday. Grandma Cybersalt and I were away to the AGC West Conference in MacGregor, Manitoba. Besides great preaching, reconnecting with friends a read more..

03 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4038

<1min

Kid Quotes

"Everyone has feelings, except for snakes and principals."- Donna Maria G, age 9 "Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and the world laughs at you." - Rob P, age 8 "If life gives you nothin read more..

03 May

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

3277

<1min

Johann Strauss

Johann Strauss was an avid mountain climber who once waltzed himself into deep trouble. He lost his footing and found himself hanging by his fingertips over a bottomless gorge. Another climber heroic... read more..

03 May

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

2440

<1min

Fellowship

Lonely and alone, discouraged and empty hearted That's when a man needs a brother When the burden is heavy, the load too much to bear That's when a man needs a brother When in despair, and needing s... read more..

30 Apr

Sermons

Pastor Tim

1394

<1min

Alive vs Living

Westside elder, Jarek Bekesza, preaches about how the difference between being alive and living a fulfilled life is believing in and follow Jesus. Listen Online: {audio}podcast/sm20170430-jarek- read more..

29 Apr

Quotes

Susan Davis

2880

<1min

Quote #1633

"My memory is nearly gone, but I remember two things: that I am a great sinner, and that Christ is a great Savior." - John Newton, 1807 read more..

29 Apr

One-liners

Susan Davis

1853

<1min

One-liner #1186

I don't mean to brag, but ... I finished my 14-day diet in 3 hours and 20 minutes.... read more..

27 Apr

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

1337

<1min

Cybersalt News - April 27, 2017

Oh look, Chicken Thursday! While preparing last Sunday's mailing, there was once again an error between my keyboard and my seat. The result was that last Thursday's news was repeated and Sunday's Cy read more..

25 Apr

Funny Pictures

Pastor Tim

47648

<1min

Croc Tan

It's no croc to say that this is a weird tan. We've pretty much all had at least one bad or strange experience with a weird tan line. But this picture shows perhaps one of the oddest ones around. ... read more..

The Top Ten Things Not to Do at Your Child's Performance or Sports Event

25 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4260

<1min

The Top Ten Things Not to Do at Your Child's Performance or Sports Event

10. Try to pep up the dance recital crowd by starting "the wave." 9. Do a halftime trampoline show. 8. With your buddies, spell out your child's name on your chests. 7. Mimic the conductor. 6. Sta read more..

25 Apr

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

3197

<1min

Spanish King Pun

A Spanish King was being attacked constantly by warlords. He called his advisors together and asked them to come up with a solution. One said, "Remember the Greeks and the Trojan Horse?" "Let's find... read more..

25 Apr

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1758

<1min

Identification

A woman went into a hardware store to purchase a bale of peat moss. She gave a personal check in payment and said to the clerk, "I suppose you will want some identification." He replied, without hesi... read more..

25 Apr

Quotes

Susan Davis

3017

<1min

Quote #1632

Imagine if trees gave off WiFi signals, we would be planting so many trees and we'd probably save the planet too. Too bad they only produce the oxygen we breathe. - Unknown read more..

25 Apr

One-liners

Susan Davis

1940

<1min

One-liner #1185

I just did a week's worth of cardio after walking into a spider web.... read more..

23 Apr

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

1408

<1min

Cybersalt News - April 23, 2017

Sunday greetings everyone. There is a new James Snyder devotional on the Cybersalt site today. James has a black eye, which gives rise to this 5th devotional with the word "quandary" in the title, lo... read more..

23 Apr

Sermons

Pastor Tim

1401

<1min

Dessert at Home

Jesus' followers can say no to the immediate gratification of this world knowing that something better is waiting at home in Heaven. Listen Online: {audio}podcast/sm20170423.mp3{/audio} read more..

Black Eye Causes Quandary of the First Order

22 Apr

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

2600

4 min read

Black Eye Causes Quandary of the First Order

Quandaries come in a variety of sizes, shapes and colors. As someone who is somewhat of a connoisseur in this area, I can readily attest to this. However, many do not realize quandaries come in two ca... read more..

22 Apr

Quotes

Susan Davis

2553

<1min

Quote #1631

Individuality: "You laugh at me because I'm different. I laugh at you because you're all the same!" - Unknown read more..

22 Apr

One-liners

Susan Davis

1994

<1min

One-liner #1184

"I never called you stupid; but when I asked you how you spelled Mississippi, and you asked if I was talking about the river or the state, it just kind of caught me off guard." read more..

22 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4187

<1min

Clean Cup

Bill and Doug went into a diner that looked as though it had seen better days. As they slid in to a booth, Bill wiped some crumbs from the seat. Then he took a napkin and wiped some moisture from the... read more..

22 Apr

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

2546

<1min

Culture

A young man, while bringing flowers to a cemetery, noticed an old Chinese man placing a bowl of rice on a nearby grave. The young man walked up to the Chinese man and asked, "When do you expect your f... read more..

22 Apr

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

3648

<1min

Hip Hop Culture

"I'm surprised that the hip-hop culture hasn't caught on with rabbits." read more..

20 Apr

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

1430

<1min

Cybersalt News - April 20, 2017

Oh look, Chicken Thursday! Today's Funny Car Picture on the Cybersalt site reminds us that you can still love the car you've got even if don't have the car you'd love. You'll find "Love Your R read more..