Cybersalt Digest Archive

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Cybersalt News

Pastor "Attacked" in ChurchSunday greetings everyone!

You may have noticed that when one of you shares something with me, which I turn around and share here, I usually change your first name or last name to an initial when giving credit. I do this primarily for privacy reasons, and also because I know most people don't want to be publicly associated with me.

But today, I'm going to mention Cybersaltine, Pastor Phil White, fully by name because he deserves our support after sending this video of him being "attacked" in church - and his  name also fully appears in the video, so duh!

Now, for those of you who are squeamish, don't worry, the video is not graphic. And to tell the truth, it seems like Phil enjoyed this attack. He actually seems kind of desperate for any kind of attention or activity in his sanctuary.

The way he handled this situation makes me wish I could visit his church. I like to think that if I did, he would invite me back to his house for lunch afterwards for a time of good food and company - during which I would excuse myself and sneak into his closet and steal some of his killer ties! Seriously, check out some of his other videos because he's got the tie thing down!

Click here to watch the video.

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!

~ Pastor Tim

I understand the fix a local hunting guide got himself into.

His party became hopelessly lost in the mountains and they blamed him for leading them astray.

"You told us you were the best guide in Colorado!" they asserted.

"I am," he said, "but I think we're in Wyoming now."

Overweight: Living beyond your seams.

"Be a Billionaire!"

and Help

Refugees and

Persecuted Christians

"Forgive me Father, Pastor, Vicar, Padre, Priest ... for I have synonymed."

- Curier Black | Inheritthemirth.com 

"Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer to call it selective participation."

- John Silver, Black Sails

A young, new preacher was walking with an older, more seasoned preacher in the garden one day. Feeling a bit insecure about what God had for him to do, he was asking the older preacher for some advice.

The older preacher walked up to a rose bush and handed the young preacher a rosebud and told him to open it without tearing any of the petals. The young preacher looked in disbelief at the older preacher and was trying to figure out what a rosebud could possibly have to do with his wanting to know the will of God for his life and ministry. But, because of his great respect for the older preacher, he proceeded to try and unfold the rosebud while keeping every petal intact . . .It wasn't long before he realized how impossible this was to do.

 Noticing the young preacher's inability to unfold the rosebud without tearing it, the older preacher began to recite the following poem:

It is only a tiny rosebud
A flower of God's design;
But I cannot unfold the petals
With these clumsy hands of mine.

The secret of unfolding flowers
Is not known to such as I.
GOD opens this flower so sweetly,
Yet in my hands, they die.

If I cannot unfold a rosebud,
The flower of God's design,
Then how can I have the wisdom
To unfold this life of mine?

So, I'll trust in Him for leading
Each moment of my day.
I will look to Him for His guidance
Each step of the Pilgrim's way.

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . . 

We had a long, hard week with problems and difficulties that took time to solve, if they even were solved. It is quite interesting to me that when I solve one problem, two other problems appear. I think they’re all waiting in line.

In particular, one day was rather difficult and zapped both of us of energy. I ordered a new desk for my office, and there were so many problems getting it delivered that I almost gave up. Along the way the desk was damaged and they returned it back to the store without even telling us. We had to reorder it all over again and wait for it. But then it came. Problem solved.

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.

Click here to view this edition online!  

Cybersalt News

Oh look, Chicken Thursday.

Today's date is very lean in it's use of numbers - namely 0, 1, and 2. It is 21/01/2021. In military time, this evening at 21 seconds after 9:21pm it will be 21:21:21 21/01/2021!

Speaking of 21's, thanks to Cybersaltine Greg M. for pointing out that I was still using the year "2020" in the Cybersalt News title. It's not that I was trying to live in the past (even though January 2020 was a great month for me with a trip to Spain, Gibraltar, and Jersey.)

Rather, for the last 51 weeks of the each year, I start a new news item by making a copy of the previous Thursday or Sunday's article. That's 102 repeats, which form quite a habit to suddenly notice with all the busyness and changes that come with the first week of a new year.

And as any of us who have been nuns knows, some habits are very hard to get out of. I know that's a real groaner, so I'm going to 23 skiddoo!

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.

~ Pastor Tim

10. He's distracted by cats chasing his mouse.

9. SIT and STAY were hard enough; CUT and PASTE are out of the question.

8. Saliva-coated keyboards refuse to work.

7. Three words: carpal paw syndrome.

6. Involuntary tail wagging is a dead give-away that he's browsing www.purina.com instead of working.

5. The fire hydrant icon is simply too frustrating.

4. He can't help attacking the screen when he hears "You've Got Mail."

3. It's too messy to "mark" every Web site he visits.

2. The FETCH command isn't available on all platforms.

1. He can't stick his head out of Windows XP.

Marriage is like strong horseradish; you can praise it and still have tears in your eyes.

"Be a Billionaire!"

and Help

Refugees and

Persecuted Christians

“Low carb diets really go against the grain.”

"God does not give us everything we want, but He does fulfill His promises, leading us along the best and straightest paths to Himself."

- Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Part of my job as a 911 dispatcher is to interrogate callers who are in various states of panic so I can send the appropriate emergency equipment.

One day a woman called to say that a family member had fallen and needed to go to a hospital.

After finding out where she lived and assuring her that the paramedics would arrive shortly, I asked her, "Do you know what caused the fall?"

"No," the woman nervously replied. "What?"

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.

Click here to view this edition online!  

Cybersalt News

Sunday greetings everyone!

I visited my friend's farm, yesterday, to fix one of his computers. After all the bits were once again "biting" and the bytes were once again "byting," we spent some time outside in his yard catching up on things. While we talked I enjoyed the chickens, dogs, and sheep which were milling about after following him down the hill from the barn. They were totally at peace around him.

Brian doesn't usually have sheep on his farm so after a while I figured it was a good time to get closer to them and check them out. However, after taking one little step towards them it was clear they weren't as fascinated with me as I was with them and they moved away - and at a good pace I might add.

Although I was disappointed to not be able to get closer, I certainly wasn't hurt or mad because they spend much more time with Brian and know him. Also, one of the many things I learned in my 28 years of pastoring local churches is that at any time sheep will just move on because I took a little step they didn't like. So this wasn't my first rodeo (if you catch my drift.)

Of course, the irony is that it is Brian who is going to kill them one by one and feed them to his family. Maybe I will ask Brian to let me know when he's going to kill the next one so I can be there and when the bellwether moment of clarity comes I can say, "How do you like me now?!!"

Like I said, lol, this wasn't my first rodeo.

Today's video share features two different creatures of timidity: a deer and a harpist.
Click here to watch the video.

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!

~ Pastor Tim

"Dad," said Little Johnny, "I'm late for football practice. Would you please do my homework for me?"

The father said irately, "Son, it just wouldn't be right."

"That's okay," replied Little Johnny, "but you could at least give it a try, couldn't you?"

The perfect gift for a wife who has everything - a husband who can pay for it!

"Be a Billionaire!"

and Help

Refugees and

Persecuted Christians

“When the clock factory caught fire, second hand smoke was everywhere.”

"Not ... GOD IS loving, holy, just, sovereign, wrathful, merciful, etc. as attributes, but GOD IS LOVE, wholly holy in essence, expressed through his ruling, justice, wrath, grace, mercy, etc."

- Bruxy Cavey

A mother was telling her little girl what her own childhood was like.

"We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods."

The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in.

At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . . 

I have learned in my life, and probably just one thing: things have a way of catching up with me. I can't get away with anything.

It's not that I don't try. There were a few times when I've come pretty close to getting away with something, but it didn't turn out the way I hoped.

One example stands out. Last year someone hacked into the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage’s bank account and purchased a case of wine for around $700. It took her a few days to see this in her bank account. When she saw it, she immediately went to the bank to dispute it.

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.

Click here to view this edition online!  

Cybersalt News

Oh look, Chicken Thursday!

Yes, I know that's a goat, lol.

Remember last week when I shared a dash cam photo from Cybersaltine Raduoos? After emailing him to make sure he had seen it in the mailing, he replied and included this picture.

My comment back was, "Lol, thanks for the picture of Satan's goat!"

He responded with the story behind the picture and I enjoyed it so much I though you would too:

When I was a meter-reader for the power company, the best part of my job was dealing with dogs. But this particular meter was inside of a pen with a dozen goats. When I would enter, they would all run to the opposite side and stare at me. Merlyn kept coming closer and after two years, would come all the way up to me and want to be scratched between the horns. The other goats would stay back, yelling; “Are you crazy? Get away from that human!” But Merlyn didn’t listen.

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.

~ Pastor Tim

There's a man trying to cross the street. As he steps off the curb a car comes screaming around the corner and heads straight for him. The man walks faster, trying to hurry across the street, but the car changes lanes and is still coming at him.

So the guy turns around to go back, but the car changes lanes again and is still coming at him.

By now, the car is so close and the man so scared that he just freezes and stops in the middle of the road.

The car gets real close, then swerves at the last possible moment and screeches to a halt right next him.

The driver rolls down the window.

The driver is a squirrel.

The squirrel looks the man in the eye and says, "See, it's not as easy as it looks, is it?"

There's one thing about being bald - it's neat!

"Be a Billionaire!"

and Help

Refugees and

Persecuted Christians

Did you hear about the elevator operator who rode to the basement to pick up Dracula?

He went down for the Count.

"Although the threads of my life have often seemed knotted, I know, by faith, that on the other side of the embroidery there is a crown."

- Corrie ten Boom

In the middle of one of Henry Ward Beecher's most potent political speeches, a member of the crowd gave a perfect imitation of a cock crowing. While the audience roared with laughter, the speaker gave no sign of annoyance, but he removed his watch and studied it while the noise died down.

"That's odd," Beecher said at last. "My watch says it's ten o'clock, but there can't be any mistake. It must be morning, for the instincts of the lower animals are absolutely infallible."

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.