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Cybersalt News
Oh look, Chicken Thursday.
I'm a little unsettled, this chicken Thursday. After giving chickens their own special day for years, I just heard that "Birds Aren't Real!"
You can help me through this difficult time by clicking on the following link, watching the video it points to, and letting me know what you think:
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing - if you can.
~ Pastor Tim
Helpless Creatures
A mother and a daughter are shopping in the mall, when the mother eyes an expensive fur coat.
"This year," she says, "I think that I will buy my present instead of making you and dad shop for me."
The daughter nods in agreement.
"And I think this fur coat would be perfect too," the mother continued.
The daughter protests, "But mom, some poor, helpless creature had to suffer so that you can have this."
"Don't worry Honey," says the mother, "your father won't get the bill for a couple of weeks."
One-Liner #1553
I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.
- Steven Wright
"Be a Billionaire!"
and Help
Refugees and
Persecuted Christians
With Friends Like That
Three dinosaurs stumble across a magic lamp. They rub it, and a genie appears.
"I have three wishes, so I'll give one to each of you," the genie announces.
The first dinosaur thinks hard.
"Alright," he says, "I'll have a big, juicy, piece of meat."
Instantly, the biggest, juiciest piece of meat he'd ever seen appears in front of him.
Not to be outdone, the second dinosaur thinks even harder.
"I know! I'll have a shower of meat!"
Immediately, huge pieces of meat rain down around him.
The third dinosaur, certainly not to be outdone, thinks harder than the previous dinosaurs.
"I've got it!" he cries, "I want a MEATIER shower!"
Quote #1990
"The positive thinker sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible."
- Winston Churchill
Warning Ticket
On a long drive from Virginia, I thought I was traveling at a reasonable speed, but the flashing blue lights in my rearview mirror made me realize that I'd been over the limit. I handed the officer my license and made small talk while my wife dug through the glove compartment for the registration.
"I'm usually very careful about my speed," I told him as my wife handed me the paperwork.
The officer studied it and then gave it back. "Sir," he said gruffly, "this is not your registration."
Apparently I had handed him a warning ticket that I had received for speeding in South Carolina.
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
When my sister Andrea got married, she asked to wear my mother's wedding dress.
"If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?"
“I heard they finally got King Midas - It was guild by association.”
A mother wanted to teach her daughter a moral lesson.
I don't like saying that, but it is the truth. At this point, I don't know the difference between a habit and a ritual.
Oh look, Chicken Thursday.
My kindergarten-aged daughter suddenly announced just before school that she needed to take a clean tee shirt to class. She told us the teacher was going to iron an anti-drug message on it.
Rice is great when you're hungry and you want 2,000 of something.
“If coffee were blood, I'd be Count Draculatte.”
My wife's family and I were at a Harding University football game. Every time someone carried the ball or made a tackle, the announcer would broadcast who had made the play.
A Swiss guy visited Sydney, Australia, and pulled up at a bus stop where two locals were waiting.
The trouble with opportunity is ...
My son is the manager of a glass and window company and advertised in the paper for experienced glaziers.
One Sunday morning an old cowboy entered a church just before services were to begin. Although the old man and his clothes were spotlessly clean, he wore jeans, a denim shirt and boots that were very worn and ragged. In his hand he carried a worn out old hat and an equally worn out Bible.
There is so much going on around Cybersalt World Headquarters that there really isn't much news to report!
B - You take my breath away
Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and the father of a large family!
A tour guide was showing a tourist around Washington, D.C. The guide pointed out the place where George Washington supposedly threw a dollar across the Potomac River.
After trying a new shampoo for the first time, Morris mailed off an enthusiastic letter of approval to the manufacturer.