Your Source of Cyber Salt for the Cyber World

sign up for free cybersalt today button

  • Home
  • Blogs
    • Archives
    • Ask Juan
    • God's Penman
    • Guest Authors
    • Moving With God
    • Shirley Choat
    • Simply Susan
    • Suneel Barkat
    • Susan Page
    • Totally Tim
  • Entertainment
    • Cartoons
    • Clean Jokes
    • Clean Puns
    • Fun Blog
    • Funny Pictures
    • One-liners
    • Games
    • Pearly Gates Jokes
    • Daily Cartoon
    • Random Jokes
    • Cybersalt Digest Archive
    • Your Turn to Be Funny
  • Inspiration
    • Body of Christ Connection
    • Illustrations
    • Quotes
    • Random Quotes
    • Truth and Reconciliation
    • Videos
  • News
    • Cybersalt News
    • News Feeds
    • Letters
    • Better Computing
  • Support
    • Web Hosting Packages
    • Domain Registration
    • Web Design
    • Login
    • FaceBook Modules
    • Contact Support
    • Our Mission
  • Archive

Cybersalt Digest Archive

The Cybersalt Digest - Issue #3795 - November 25, 2011


Issue #3795


Cybersalt News

You've probably heard about "tryptophan" - that wonderful sleepy ingredient in turkey.  Did you also know it's a turkey multiplier?  The proof is at:
www.cybersalt.org/funny-pictures/turkey-multiplication

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.


Here is today's CleanLaugh

Worst Horse Ever

A jockey is in the parade ring discussing race tactics with the horse's trainer. The trainer tells the jockey that this is the worst horse he has ever seen. It has had 23 races and finished last in every one of them. If it doesn't win today the milkman will be using it for deliveries in the morning.

The jockey mounts up and takes the horse down to the start.

The race begins and the horse is immediately 10 lengths behind the pack. So the jockey gives the horse an sharp thwap on the shoulder.

Nothing.

He then gives him a series of strikes on the rump.

Nothing.

He then gives him two wallops right on the hindquarters.

The horse comes to a sudden stop, turns to the jockey and says "Give it a rest with that whip, will ya, buddy? I have to be up at four in the morning to deliver milk."

Be A
Cybersalt Fan
on
facebook_199x74


Latest Funny Pictures

  • Not Easy Thanksgiving Turkey

  • Thanksgiving Turkey Dreams

  • Purpose Driven Thanksgiving Turkey

  • Brave Heart Thanksgiving Turkey

  • Pittsburgh Penguin Hockey Bird


Want to share this edition of the Cybersalt Digest with your friends?


{forward}Forward via e-mail{/forward}


Here is today's One-liner

One-liner #0770

"Human Relations: For every action, there is a corresponding overreaction."


Here is today's CleanPun

Paul McCartney Song

"I remember that Paul McCartney song like it was yesterday."


Here is today's CleanQuote

Quote #1223

"Be Yourself. Everyone else is already taken."
- Oscar Wilde


Here is today's Illustration

The Deeds Undone

"The Deeds Undone"

It isn't the thing you do, friend, it's the thing you leave undone,
Which gives you the bitter heartache, at the setting of the sun:
The tender words unspoken, to letter you did not write,
The flowers you might have sent, are your haunting ghosts at night.

The stone you might have lifted, out of a dear friend's way,
The bit of heartsome counsel you were hurried too much to say:
The loving touch of a helping hand, the gentle and winsome tone,
That you had no time or thought for, with troubles enough of your own.

These little acts of kindness, so easily out of mind,
These chances to be angels, which even mortals find.
They come in night and silence, each chill reproachful wraith,
When hope is faint and flagging, and a blight has dropped on faith.

For life is all too short, friend, and sorrow is all to great,
To suffer our slow compassion, that tarries until too late.
So, it's not the things you do, it's the deeds you leave undone,
Which gives you a bitter heartache, at the setting of the sun.
- Bertha A. Lawson


The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt

www.cybersalt.org

End of Newsletter

{modify}To Modify your Subscription Click Here{/modify}

The Cybersalt Digest - Issue #3794 - November 24, 2011


Issue #3794


Cybersalt News

Oh look, Chicken Thursday!

It's also Turkey day in the States so happy Thanksgiving everyone.  To help you celebrate, here are an imperial ton of Cybersalt Thanksgiving pages.

www.cybersalt.org/funny-cat-pictures/thanksgiving-warning

www.cybersalt.org/funny-pictures/thanksgiving-turkey-lamp

www.cybersalt.org/funny-pictures/turkey-disguise

www.cybersalt.org/funny-pictures/thanksgiving-news

www.cybersalt.org/funblog/turkey-goes-postal

www.cybersalt.org/cartoons/not-easy-thanksgiving-turkey-cartoon

www.cybersalt.org/cartoons/thanksgiving-turkey-dreams-cartoons

www.cybersalt.org/cartoons/purpose-driven-thanksgiving-turkey-cartoon

www.cybersalt.org/cartoons/brave-heart-thanksgiving-turkey-cartoons

www.cybersalt.org/cartoons/thanksgiving-turkey-bible-cartoons

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.


Here is today's CleanLaugh

Gracie Allen's Classic Recipe for Turkey

Gracie Allen's Classic Recipe for Turkey:

Ingedients:

- 1 large turkey

- 1 small turkey

Cooking Instructions:

Take the two turkeys and put them in the oven.

When the little one burns, the big one is done.

Be A
Cybersalt Fan
on
facebook_199x74


Latest Funny Pictures

  • Not Easy Thanksgiving Turkey

  • Thanksgiving Turkey Dreams

  • Purpose Driven Thanksgiving Turkey

  • Brave Heart Thanksgiving Turkey

  • Pittsburgh Penguin Hockey Bird


Want to share this edition of the Cybersalt Digest with your friends?


{forward}Forward via e-mail{/forward}


Here is today's One-liner

One-liner #0769

Camouflauge Training: No one turned up... Oh wait a minute...


Here is today's CleanPun

My Mother The Car

At the Museum of Television: "It says the 1st episode of 'My Mother The Car' marks the very 1st airing of an auto-pilot."


Here is today's CleanQuote

Quote #1222

"Happiness is not a station you arrive at, but a manner of traveling."
- Margaret B. Runbeck


Here is today's Illustration

Thanksgiving

Thank You, GOD for everything
I've experienced here on earth.
Thank You for protecting me
from the moment of my birth.

And Thank You for the beauty
around me everywhere,
The gentle rain and glistening dew,
the sunshine and the air.

The joyous gift of "feeling"
the soul's soft, whispering voice
That speaks to me from deep within
and makes my heart rejoice.

Oh, GOD, no words are great enough
to thank You for just living,
And that is why every day
is a day for real THANKSGIVING.

- Helen Steiner Rice


The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt

www.cybersalt.org

End of Newsletter

{modify}To Modify your Subscription Click Here{/modify}

The Cybersalt Digest - Issue #3793 - November 23, 2011


Issue #3793


Cybersalt News

The Cybersalt Digest is back.

Thankyou to everyone for your kind words of condolence and prayers for us following Susan's mom's passing on the 12th.  Gladys' funeral was on Saturday so there were no mailings while we travelled and were blessed by some family times and a pause in our regular lives.

For those who are interested, I have finished a memorial page for my late mother-in-law and placed it on one of the lesser known Cybersalt sites - asleepinchrist.org.  You can listen to her funeral, or read through an outline of it at:
www.asleepinchrist.org

There is also a new devotional from Rev. James Snyder on the Cybersalt site today.  James has some interesting theories about the Pilgrim Fathers (and the Pilgrim Mothers too) at:
www.cybersalt.org/gods-penman/give-us-this-day-our-turkey-again

Finally, for those of you to whom it applies

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.


Here is today's CleanLaugh

The Turkey Shot Out Of The Oven

The turkey shot out of the oven
and rocketed into the air,
it knocked every plate off the table
and partly demolished a chair.

It ricocheted into a corner and
burst with a deafening boom,
then splattered all over the kitchen,
completely obscuring the room.

It stuck to the walls and the windows,
it totally coated the floor,
there was turkey attached to the ceiling,
where there'd never been turkey before.

It blanketed every appliance,
it smeared every saucer and bowl,
there wasn't a way I could stop it,
that turkey was out of control.

I scraped and I scrubbed with displeasure,
and thought with chagrin as I mopped,
that I'd never again stuff a turkey
with popcorn that hadn't been popped.

- By Jack Prelutsky

Be A
Cybersalt Fan
on
facebook_199x74


Latest Funny Pictures

  • Brave Heart Thanksgiving Turkey

  • Pittsburgh Penguin Hockey Bird

  • Boat Drive

  • Lumber Spoiler

  • Volkswagen Bug Rug


Want to share this edition of the Cybersalt Digest with your friends?


{forward}Forward via e-mail{/forward}


Here is today's One-liner

One-liner #0768

You know times are tough when you order a burger at McDonalds and the kid behind the counter asks, "Can you afford fries with that?"


Here is today's CleanPun

Cloning Cher

"If they cloned Cher she would be Cher and Cher-alike."


Here is today's CleanQuote

Quote #1221

"God cannot give us a happiness and peace apart from himself, because it is not there. There is no such thing."
- C.S. Lewis


Here is today's Illustration

Couple In 10 Years

The other day I pointed to a couple across a restaurant and said to my wife, "That's us in ten years."

She replied, "That's a mirror."


The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt

www.cybersalt.org

End of Newsletter

{modify}To Modify your Subscription Click Here{/modify}

The Cybersalt Digest - Issue #3792 - November 17, 2011


Issue #3792


Cybersalt News

Oh look, Chicken Thursday!

A few days ago I mentioned that Cybersalt was on Stumbleupon.com, but the link I gave you did not make it easy to find the Cybersalt stumble page so that we could stumble along together (which is not the same as the blind leading the blind).  Here is the link you need to add us to your stumble:
www.stumbleupon.com/stumbler/cybersalt

Today's newly updated funny picture is one any fan of penguins will enjoy - or Penguin fans for that matter.
www.cybersalt.org/funny-pictures/pittsburgh-penguin-hockey-bird

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing. 


Here is today's CleanLaugh

Waiting For A Table

When my husband and I showed up at a very popular restaurant, it was crowded.

I went up to the hostess and asked, "Will it be long?" The hostess, ignoring me, kept writing in her book.

I asked again, "How much of a wait?"

The woman looked up from her book and said, "About ten minutes."

A short time later, we heard an announcement over the loudspeaker: "Willette B. Long, your table is now ready."

Be A
Cybersalt Fan
on
facebook_199x74


Latest Funny Pictures

  • Pittsburgh Penguin Hockey Bird

  • Boat Drive

  • Lumber Spoiler

  • Volkswagen Bug Rug

  • Lawn Chair Jalopy


Want to share this edition of the Cybersalt Digest with your friends?


{forward}Forward via e-mail{/forward}


Here is today's One-liner

One-liner #0767

"The French don't care what they do as long as they pronounce it properly."
- George Bernard Shaw


Here is today's CleanPun

Hood Full of Pigeons

I was driving to work this morning when my car stalled in the damp weather. I was sitting in the car at the side of the highway, contemplating my next move, when a pigeon flew down and landed right in the middle of the hood of the car. It seemed fairly tame, and I soon became fascinated in watching it up close as it strutted around and made cooing noises.

A few minutes passed, and two more pigeons flew in and joined the first bird. Pigeons seem to be attracted by crowds, and soon I was sitting there with a whole hood full of pigeons, all cooing loudly and beginning to change the color of my hood.

Gradually I noticed that the birds seemed to be trying to get my attention, which was unnerving, since I had always regarded pigeons as rather stupid birds. But, sure enough, several of them were dragging a piece of rope around on the hood, and several others were flying out in front of the car and returning to the hood.

All of a sudden, I realized what they were doing, so I yanked open the door and wildly chased them all off.

No way was I going to be pigeon towed!


Here is today's CleanQuote

Quote #1220

‎"There are two ways to get enough. One is to continue to accumulate more and more. The other is to desire less."
- G.K. Chesterton


Here is today's Illustration

Umbrella Impression

A man had finally got around to taking all his broken umbrellas to the repair shop.

Next morning on his way to his office when he got up to leave the street car, he absentmindedly laid hold of the umbrella belonging to the woman beside him for he was in the habit of carrying one.

The woman cried "Stop! Thief!", grabbed her umbrella back and embarrassed the poor man no end!

That same day, he stopped at the repair shop, and received all eight of his umbrellas duly restored. As he entered the street car, with the unwrapped umbrellas tucked under his arm, he was horrified to behold, glaring at him, the lady of his morning's misadventure.

Her voice came to him charged with a withering scorn: "Had a good day, didn't you!"


The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt

www.cybersalt.org

End of Newsletter

{modify}To Modify your Subscription Click Here{/modify}

The Cybersalt Digest - Issue #3791 - November 16, 2011


Issue #3791


Cybersalt News

There is a new entry in the FunBlog today.  It's a humorous presentation about a dangerous cooking problem - deep frying turkeys.  You'll find "William Shatner - Eat, Fry, Love Turkey" at:
www.cybersalt.org/funblog/william-shatner-eat-fry-love-turkey

There is also an updated funny car picture on the Cybersalt site today.  You will find "Boat Drive" at:
www.cybersalt.org/funny-car-pictures/boat-drive

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.


Here is today's CleanLaugh

New Pope

A high school history teacher was discussing the funeral of the Pope with his class. One student asked how they chose the new Pope.

The teacher explained the process, finishing with, "So the Cardinals pick him."

A student in the back of class, asked, very seriously, "Why would they let a baseball team pick the next Pope?"

Be A
Cybersalt Fan
on
facebook_199x74


Latest Funny Pictures

  • Boat Drive

  • Lumber Spoiler

  • Volkswagen Bug Rug

  • Lawn Chair Jalopy

  • Boyfriend's Car


Want to share this edition of the Cybersalt Digest with your friends?


{forward}Forward via e-mail{/forward}


Here is today's One-liner

One-liner #0766

"Where I come from, the valleys are so narrow, dogs have to wag their tail up and down."
- Sam Snead


Here is today's CleanPun

Clock Factory Fire

At the clock factory today there was a lot of second hand smoke.


Here is today's CleanQuote

Quote #1219

"One could drive a prairie schooner through any part of his argument and never scrape against a fact."
- David F. Houston


Here is today's Illustration

Self-Gentleness

One form of gentleness we should practice is towards ourselves. We should never get irritated with ourselves because of our imperfections. It is reasonable to be dis- pleased and sorry when we commit faults, but not fretful or spiteful to ourselves.

Some make the mistake of being angry because they have been angry, hurt because they have been hurt, vexed because they have been vexed. They think they are getting rid of anger, that the second remedies the first; actually, they are preparing the way for fresh anger on the first occasion.

Besides this, all irritation with ourselves tends to foster pride and springs from self-love, which is displeased at finding we are not perfect.

We should regard our faults with calm, collected and firm displeasure. We correct them better by a quiet persevering repentance than by an irritated, hasty, and passionate one.

When your heart has fallen, raise it gently, humbling yourself before God, acknowledging your fault, but not surprised at your fall.

- Francis de Sales, "A Mother's Heart"


The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt

www.cybersalt.org

End of Newsletter

{modify}To Modify your Subscription Click Here{/modify}

  1. The Cybersalt Digest - Issue #3790 - November 15, 2011
  2. The Cybersalt Digest - Issue #3789 - November 12, 2011
  3. The Cybersalt Digest - Issue #3788 - November 11, 2011
  4. The Cybersalt Digest - Issue #3787 - November 10, 2011

Page 263 of 315

  • 258
  • 259
  • 260
  • 261
  • 262
  • 263
  • 264
  • 265
  • 266
  • 267

Cybersalt

Salt in the cyber world.

Clean humour and real encouragement you can share with anyone — your mother, your pastor, your inbox. Collected here for more than twenty years.

Laughs

  • Clean Jokes
  • Funny Pictures
  • Cartoons — The Back Pew
  • One-Liners
  • Pearly Gates Jokes
  • Games

Encouragement

  • Inspiration
  • Quotes
  • Videos
  • Illustrations
  • Blogs
  • Cybersalt News

The Cybersalt Digest

Clean humour and encouragement delivered free to your inbox.

Subscribe free →

Over 5,100 issues. Unsubscribe anytime.

  • Read the archive
  • Send us something funny

© 1996–2026 Cybersalt Consulting Ltd.

Contact Article Archive Privacy Policy Anti-Spam Policy Subscribe