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Cybersalt News
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
There was no mailing last Sunday. A big chunk of my Saturday (when I write the news and line up the next edition) went to errands and shopping, tidying the house, and then picking up Grandma Cybersalt at the airport later in the evening. It's a lot of pressure taking care of Susan's favourite person while she is away!
Today's video share is a cool one about shapes of constant width.
Click Here to Watch
~ Pastor Tim
Information Assistance
"Information. Can I help you?"
"I'd like the number of the Theater Guild, please."
"One moment, please." Pause. "I'm sorry sir, I have no listing for a Theodore Guild."
"No, no. It isn't a person. It's an organization. It's Theater Guild."
"I told you, sir. I have no listing for a Theodore Guild."
"Not *Theodore*! *Theater*! The word is *theater*.
T-H-E-A-T-E-R!"
"That, sir, is NOT the way you spell Theodore."
One-Liner #1867
Remember, if you lose a sock in the dryer, it comes back as a Tupperware lid that doesn't fit any of your containers.
"Be a Billionaire!"
and Help
Refugees and
Persecuted Christians
Cabbies
A cabbie is a fare-minded person.
Quote #2302
Clint Eastwood, 94-year-old actor legend, formulated one of the most important lessons of his life so far for the young generation:
"Don't look for luxury in watches or bracelets, don't look for luxury in villas or sailboats! Luxury is laughter and friends, luxury is rain on your face, luxury is hugs and kisses.
Don't look for luxury in shops, don't look for it in gifts, don't look for it in parties, don't look for it in events! Luxury is being loved by people, luxury is being respected, luxury is having your parents alive, luxury is being able to play with your grandchildren. Luxury is what money can't buy."
- Clint Eastwood
Envy, Jealousy, Selfishness
A man was having trouble getting his neighbor to keep his chickens fenced in. The neighbor kept talking about chickens being great creatures, and as such they had the right to go where they wanted.
The man was having no luck keeping the chickens out of his flower beds, and he had tried everything.
Two weeks later, on a visit a friend noticed his flower beds were doing great. The flowers were beginning to bloom.
So the friend asked him how he managed to keep the birds away. "How did you make your neighbor keep his hens in his own yard?"
"One night I hid half a dozen eggs under a bush by my flower bed, and the next day I let my neighbor see me gather them. I wasn't bothered after that."
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Susan Page writes . . . .
Great Questions
- photo by Susan PageJesus is the expert when it comes to asking questions. His questions have a way of drawing out the truth from His respondents. One of the questions Jesus asked during His ministry was … “What do you want Me to do for you?” Isn’t that just the most awesome question?
We can put our imaginations to work as we read the stories laid out in Scripture. Take for example when Jesus called His first disciples.
Read moreThe Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
While waiting in line at the bank, a friend developed a very loud case of hiccups. By the time he reached the teller's window, the hiccups seemed to have worsened. The teller took my friend's check and proceeded to run a computer verification of his account. After a minute she looked up from her terminal with a frown and said that she would be unable to cash his check.
I had my patience tested; I'm negative.
Stop, drop, and pass the rolls!
"If your plan is for 1 year, plant rice.
I heard a story years ago which, I hope, will bring a lot of comfort to those who are taunted with the "if you had more faith..." issue.
Thanksgiving Forecast Turkeys will thaw in the morning, then warm in the oven to an afternoon high near 190F. The kitchen will turn hot and humid, and if you bother the cook, be ready for a severe squall or cold shoulder.
The older I get, the earlier it gets late.
"Thanksgiving was never meant to be shut up in a single day."
A 4-year-old boy who was asked to return thanks before Thanksgiving dinner happily obliged.
For some people, getting old is a real challenge. And it probably is for many people, but it hasn't been too much of an issue for me.
* The patient before you was a goat.
I remember being able to get up without making sound effects.
The math department felt they weren't getting enough students registering as math majors, so they made a commercial and aired it on prime time--1 o'clock, 2 o'clock, 3 o'clock, 5 o'clock, 7 o'clock, and 11 o'clock.
"Life is all about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship's kitchen."
My husband, Lawrence, had offered to give the toast at the wedding of his longtime friend Theo. They had shared many happy, and foolish incidents, and as the day approached, there was much speculation as to which events Lawrence was going to reveal.
Differences Between Men & Women
When I say, "The other day," I could be referring to any time between yesterday and 15 years ago.
A man went into his psychiatrist's office and said:
Rushing to work, I was driving too fast and as a result was pulled over by the highway patrol. The state trooper noticed that my shirt had the name of a local high school on it.