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Cybersalt News
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
Tomorrow is Grandma Cybersalt's and my 38th anniversary. We haven't discussed any plans yet, but I think Dairy Queen ice cream may be a good idea. Did you know that if you buy a large ice cream cake and scan the purchase to get points on the Dairy Queen app, the points you get are enough to get 6 free medium blizzards, which would otherwise cost the same as a large ice cream cake? That's my kind of ice cream economy!
Today's video share is a comedy performance that I found quite entertaining: The Umbilical Brothers Teamwork.
Click Here to Watch
~ Pastor Tim
Basic Training
After about three weeks in basic training, my husband's unit was not measuring up to expectations. The sergeant threatened to send them all back three weeks to start over.
Apparently, at least one new soldier was already reconsidering his career choice. As the sergeant's threat hung in the air, an anonymous voice called out,
"How about sending us back FOUR weeks?"
One-Liner #1851
If all the toilets in your house are occupied and you are waiting for on to be free, switch off the Wi-Fi.
"Be a Billionaire!"
and Help
Refugees and
Persecuted Christians
Courtyard Murmuring
On my recent trip to New York, I was walking near a small courtyard and heard voices murmuring. So I looked in and saw an altar with a large zero in the middle and a banner that said "N I L".
White-robed people were kneeling before the altar chanting hymns to “The Great Nullity”, “The Blessed Emptiness”, and “The Big Zero in the Sky”.
I approached one of the white-robed cult members and asked, "Is Nothing Sacred?”
- Stan Kegel
Quote #2286
"In battle you never rise to the occasion, you sink to the level of your training."
- Unknown
Communication, Flexibility, Education
The manager of a large city zoo was drafting a letter to order a pair of animals.
He sat at his computer and typed the following sentence: "I would like to place an order for two mongooses, to be delivered at your earliest convenience."
He stared at the screen, focusing on that odd word mongooses. Then he deleted the word and added another, so the sentence now read: "I would like to place an order for two mongeese, to be delivered at your earliest convenience."
Again he stared at the screen, this time focusing on the new word, which seemed just as odd as the original one.
Finally, he deleted the whole sentence and started all over.
"Everyone knows no fully stocked zoo should be without a mongoose," he typed. "Please send us two of them."
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Susan Page writes . . . .
Ceaseless Praise
- photo by Susan PageIn The Journey, a Music Special by Andrea Bocelli, Andrea clearly states the relationship between music, relationships and his undeniable faith in God. It is a deeply moving presentation that I highly recommend.
If people are attracted to the music or the melody of our lives, they may ask to be introduced to the Master Conductor.
Does our life's symphony draw attention to the One who is leading the orchestra?
Are we in harmony with our Lord and in tune with His Spirit?
Read moreThe Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
Did you hear about the guy that lost his left arm and leg in a car crash?
It's a good day ... the bulb finally burned out on my check engine light!
One of our elders is raising rabbits. They live in a rabbit hutch in his backyard.
"Fear arises when we imagine everything depends on us."
The San Francisco Zoo has an elephant, named Calle. It seems that Calle has a chronic illness which requires daily medication. The zoo people couldn't get Calle to take her dose orally, so a pharmacologist developed a suppository for her.
I have been showing people a picture of my brain for almost a month now. I’ve been having a lot of fun doing it and teasing people by saying, “I have proof that I have a brain.”
I was driving the other day and came up on a VW Beetle with a license plate reading 'BOBS MG'.
The average human walks 900 miles per year and drinks 22 gallons of coffee; this means that the average human gets 41 miles per gallon.
I went on a date the other night with a woman who works at a zoo.
"So many marriages fail because men and women today study their rights before learning about their responsibilities."
There is a mute who wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing one's teeth, he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done.
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine they lay down for the night, and went to sleep.
We thought it was our ability to love that made us human, but it turns out it was actually our ability to SELECT EACH IMAGE CONTAINING A BOAT.
My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing him.
"When I look at myself, I don't see how I can be saved. But when I look at Christ, I don't see how I can be lost."
Several years ago while working at the county jail (where I still work) I was locking down the inmates for the night and one man didn't want to get off the phone. After several attempts to get him to hang up the phone failed, I switched it off.
One thing I have learned in life is that some things do have a purpose no matter how bad they seem at the time. They don’t seem to have any purpose when they happen, but you later discover a significant purpose behind it.
Grandma Susan and I were invited out for a dinner cruise last night. Our friends live on a boat and took us out to a small nearby island where we then anchored and enjoyed a snack dinner of different crackers, cheese, and other yummy food. My favourite was a smoked gouda that I ate so much of that one might say I went charcuterie overboard!
I used to work for a large company, they often did special things for us to make work a little more enjoyable. Below are a string of memos we received over the course of just over 2 months:
Yesterday I was cooking dinner and my son came up to me and said, "Someday I'll work and help you with groceries, bills and house expenses..." My eyes started to tear up - my baby will be 32 next month!
Bill: It's my wife's birthday tomorrow. Last week I asked her what she wanted as a present.
"Live for the applause of nail-scarred hands."
I guess I must have been poking through the cards for an awful long time, lingering from one card to another, because the clerk in the Hallmark store came over and said, "Sir, is there a problem?"