Cybersalt Digest Archive

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Cybersalt News

Sunday greetings, everyone!

I was paid a very nice compliment by a client this week. They said, "You are absolutely A-1 in our book! Thank you so very much for all your hard work! We aren't your only clients, but you make us feel as though we are!"

That client is usually very effusive when they thank me for work I have done, but those words were on a different level and really made me feel good about myself and my company. It was a reminder to me how we all have the power to make a difference in the lives of others by being grateful and encouraging.

Last Sunday's video share was of a pianist playing "Flight of the Bumblebee" on a tiny little piano. Now you may not have thought it was a tiny piano, but after seeing the organ in today's video, you will at least agree that piano was tiny!
Click here to watch today's video.

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.

~ Pastor Tim 

Q: My Etch-A-Sketch has all of these funny little lines all over the
screen.
A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: How do I turn my Etch-A-Sketch off?
A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: What's the shortcut for Undo?
A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: How do I create a New Document window?
A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: How do I set the background and foreground to the same colour?
A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: What is the proper procedure for rebooting my Etch-A-Sketch?
A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: How do I delete a document on my Etch-A-Sketch?
A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: How do I save my Etch-A-Sketch document?
A: Don't shake it.

Want to know what worry really is? A waste of time.

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Persecuted Christians

Washable: What a cowboy does very carefully

“One hundred religious persons knit into a unity by careful organization do not constitute a church any more than eleven dead men make a football team.”

- A. W. Tozer

Pa and Ma were at church, and as they were leaving the minister said, "Pa, I wish we'd see you here more than twice a year!"

Pa said, "Ya, I know, but at least we keep the ten commandments."

The minister said, "Well, that's good you keep the ten commandments."

And Pa said, "Ya, Ma keeps six of 'em and I keep the other four…"

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . . 

If you had the opportunity to speak to the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage, she would probably tell you that one of my strengths is forgetting. I'm not sure how far into the subject she would get.

When it comes to forgetting, I am outstanding on the back lawn, and my expertise in this area is beyond description.

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.

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Cybersalt News

Oh look, Chicken Thursday!

I have a question for you that probably sounds like something your mother once asked you, "If 244 people jumped off a bridge would you jump too?" In today's video share you will see that at least one person would.
Click here to watch the video.

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!

~ Pastor Tim

When my mother was called for jury duty, she felt confident of her ability to answer the questions asked of prospective jurors.

As a young attorney, I had filled her in on what to expect.

Asked about the occupations of family members, Mom answered, "My son is a lawyer."

As a follow-up, she was asked if she had ever used the services of an attorney.

"Only to mow my lawn."

Most people are shocked when they find out how bad I am as an electrician.

"Be a Billionaire!"

and Help

Refugees and

Persecuted Christians

It rained so hard here last night our whole town flooded.

The entire city was taken by storm.

"Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are."

- Will Ferrell

Wanting to be married, a couple came to the county courthouse in Virginia where I work. But they accidentally walked up to the offices where hunting licenses are sold.

"We're from out of state," said the prospective groom. "Can we get a license?"

The clerk replied, "No, but I can give you a three-day permit."

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . . 

Living in the country, our family did not have a television in our home. Unfortunately, most people in our neighborhood did not have a television. That was just normal.

Somehow we managed to entertain ourselves without TV, and of course, we did not have the Internet then. How we got along without Facebook and cell phones is more than I can remember.

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.

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Cybersalt News

Sunday greetings, everyone!

Thanks to Cybersaltine, Linda F, for catching that the student in the item "Gullibiity" started out as a she and ended up as a he. I wasn't sure which to correct so I Googled some of the facts in the piece and found it was freshman Nathan Zohner, a 14-year-old student at Eagle Rock Junior High School. The item in question has been updated!

I showed today's video share to Grandma Cybersalt, who is a gifted piano player and teacher, and she exclaimed, "Crazy!" I asked, "Only young people can do that, right?" She agreed.
Click here to watch today's video.

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.

~ Pastor Tim 

Collards is green
my dog's name is Blue
and I'm so lucky
to have a sweet thang like you.

Yore hair is like cornsilk
a-flapping in the breeze
Softer than Blue's
and without all them fleas.

You move like the bass,
which excite me in May.
You ain't got no scales
but I luv you anyway.

Yo're as satisfy'n as okry
jist a-fry'n in the pan.
Yo're as fragrant as "snuff"
right out of the can.

You have som'a yore teeth,
for which I am proud;
I hold my head high
when we're in a crowd.

On special occasions,
when you shave under yore arms,
well, I'm in hawg heaven,
and awed by yore charms.

Still them fellers at work,
they all want to know,
what I did to deserve
such a purdy, young doe.

Like a good roll of duct tape
yo're there fer yore man,
to patch up life's troubles
and fix what you can.

Yo're as cute as a junebug
a-buzzin' overhead.
You ain't mean like those far ants
I found in my bed.

Cut from the best cloth
like a plaid flannel shirt,
you spark up my life
more than a fresh load of dirt.

When you hold me real tight
like a padded gunrack,
my life is complete;
Ain't nuttin' I lack.

Yore complexion, it's perfection,
like the best vinyl sidin'.
despite all the years,
yore age, it keeps hidin'.

Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie
with a RC cold drank,
we go together
like a skunk goes with stank.

Some men, they buy chocolate
for Valentine's Day;
They git it at Wal-Mart,
it's romantic that way.

Some men git roses
on that special day
from the cooler at Kroger.
"That's impressive," I say.

Some men buy fine diamonds
from a flea market booth.
"Diamonds are forever,"
they explain, suave and couth.

But for this man, honey,
these won't do.
Cause yo're too special,
you sweet thang you.

I got you a gift,
without taste nor odor,
more useful than diamonds...
IT'S A NEW TROLLIN' MOTOR!!

I'm gonna spend Valentine's Day with my ex... Box 360.

"Be a Billionaire!"

and Help

Refugees and

Persecuted Christians

Archaeologists will date any old thing.

"We wrong those near us in being independent of them. God himself would not be happy without his Son. We ought to lean on each other, giving and receiving - not as weaklings, but as lovers. Love is strength as well as need."

- George MacDonald, The Landlady's Master (aka: The Elect Lady)

Wanting to be married, a couple came to the county courthouse in Virginia where I work. But they accidentally walked up to the offices where hunting licenses are sold.

"We're from out of state," said the prospective groom. "Can we get a license?"

The clerk replied, "No, but I can give you a three-day permit."

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . . 

I will be the first to confess that I love my coffee, especially in the morning. When anybody asks how much coffee is enough, I usually say, “Just one more cup.”

My day cannot get started until I’ve had a sufficient amount of coffee. If I don’t have enough coffee when I meet somebody, they will look at me and say, “Have you had your coffee today?”

I respond by saying, “Well, not enough.”

I haven’t always been a fan of coffee. If I am obsessed with coffee, I will have to blame The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage for this. She is the one that introduced me to coffee, and here I am.

When I was young, I hated the coffee my parents had. I tried tasting it a couple of times, and it really was awful, almost like mud. How they were able to drink that coffee is beyond me.

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.

Click here to view this edition online!  

Cybersalt News

Oh look, Chicken Thursday!

I don't know which is the most amazing thing about today's video share - the size of this train layout, the number of glasses used to play this song, or the amount of work this must have taken to pull off! You be the judge when you watch "Model Train Plays Music" even though the Guinness World Records people have already judged it.
Click here to watch the video.

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!

~ Pastor Tim

Chuck Rogers, a self employed marketing consultant, has won his company's 'Employee of the Month Award' for a record 23 months in a row. Said Rogers, "I began the award program nearly two years ago when my psychologist and business coach suggested that I needed to create a company plan for maintaining employee moral and building self-esteem."

Rogers, who works alone from his home office, has received 100% of the votes for the 'Employee of the Month Award' since its inception. Said Rogers, "It feels really good every time I win the award. I am always surprised and flattered when the winner is announced. But the best part is that I get to use the special parking spot set aside for the winner. It is right next to the house. You can't imagine what a benefit that has been!"

250 pounds here on Earth is only 94.5 pounds on Mercury. I'm not fat, I'm just not on the right planet.

"Be a Billionaire!"

and Help

Refugees and

Persecuted Christians

If you're sharing an apartment with a sheep and a cow could you consider them as your ruminates?

"Sir, my concern is not whether God is on our side; my greatest concern is to be on God's side, for God is always right."

- Abraham Lincoln

Did you know that a simple "HELLO" can be a sweet one?

I received one recently from a friend through an e-mail. Here's what it said:

The word "HELLO" means:

H = How are you?

E = Everything all right?

L = Like to hear from you

L = Love to see you soon

O = Oh, and don't forget to write......

So, HELLO ...........!

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . . 

For a long time, The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage has accused me of talking in my sleep. I never believed her and just thought she was joking. At least, I thought it was a joke.

One time she accused me of that and said, “Why do you talk so much in your sleep at night?”

Thinking this was a platform for jokes, I said, “That’s because, during the day, I don’t have any opportunity to talk.” Then I flashed her one of my signature smiles.

She didn’t throw any smile back but stared at me for a few moments with that stare that went right through my body.

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.