Cybersalt Digest Archive

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Sunday greetings, everyone!

We have a new community being built in a huge, decommissioned gravel pit that Cybersalt World Headquarters looks over from on top of a hill. As more and more houses below are completed over the years, more and more are decorated with lights at Christmas. The other night, Grandma Cybersalt observed that it was like living living next to a Christmas village. Well, she actually said it was like *having* our own Christmas village, but we try not to be feudal in relation to our neighbours so I'll stick to the fact we live next to them!

Today's video share is a relaxing presentation by the "Opium Bubble Man." Don't worry, only the bubbles get high.
Click here to watch the video.

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.

~ Pastor Tim 

Dear Friend,

This perfectly delightful note is being sent on paper I made myself to tell you what I have been up to. 

Since it snowed last night, I got up early and made a sled with old barn wood and a glue gun.  I hand-painted it in gold leaf, got out my loom, and made a blanket in peach and mauves.  Then to make the sled complete, I made a white horse to pull it from DNA that I just had sitting around in my craft room.

By then, it was time to start making the place mats and napkins for my 20 breakfast guests.  I'm serving the old standard Stewart twelve-course breakfast, but I'll let you in on a little secret: I didn't have time to make the table and chairs this morning, so I used the ones I had on hand.

Before I moved the table into the dining room, I decided to add just a touch of the holidays.  So, I repainted the room in pinks and stenciled gold stars on the ceiling.  Then, while the homemade bread was rising, I took antique candle molds and made the dishes (exactly the same shade of pink) to use for breakfast.  These were made from Hungarian clay, which you can get in almost any neighborhood Hungarian craft store.

Well, I must run.  I need to finish the buttonholes on the dress I'm wearing for breakfast.  I'll get out the sled and drive this note to the post office as soon as the glue dries on the envelope I'll be making. 

Hope my breakfast guests don't stay too long.  I have 40,000 cranberries to string with bay leaves before my speaking engagement at noon.  It's a good thing.

Your Friend,
Martha Stewart

P.S.  When I made the ribbon for this typewriter, I used 1/8-inch gold gauze.  I soaked the gauze in a mixture of white grapes and blackberries which I grew, picked and crushed last week just for fun.

I always tell my kids that if you fart on Santa's lap, he's required by North Pole law to bring you two of everything you ask for.

- Abe Yospe @Cheeseboy22

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How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?

Nothing. It was on the house.

“Christmas is built upon a beautiful and intentional paradox; that the birth of the homeless should be celebrated in every home.”

-G. K. Chesterton

The teacher was trying desperately to get three twelve-year-old boys to act out the part of the three kings, but with little success.

When they got to the crib where the pretend baby was lying, each boy in turn showed awkwardness and embarrassment. The teacher, too, was growing more and more frustrated as she tried and tried again.

"This time," she said, "As you come and look at the baby, say something - the kind of thing people say at home when they see a baby."

The first, and the second boy just couldn't get it right.

Then came the third boy and, looking into the crib he said: "O, isn't he like his father!"

"He that has seen Me has seen the Father also." - John 14:9

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.

Click here to view this edition online!  

Cybersalt News

Oh look, Chicken Thursday!

I dropped by our daughter's the other day to pick up a pair of slippers that Grandma Cybersalt had left there earlier in the day when she was helping out with the grandkids. While I was there my son-in-law invited me to see his latest toy. Of course, I was keen to see his latest purchase, which turned to be a 3D printer.

I've been considering getting a 3D printer to play around with, but right now I don't have the brain bandwidth to learn something new. After all, it's all I seem to do everyday in my work so if I am going to play with something new it needs to use a different part of my brain.

When/if I do get a 3D printer someday, I think it would be fun to print up a shape like those appearing in today's video share. Of course I will also have to print up a strobe light to achieve the same effect as these "Strobe Animated Sculptures Invented by John Edmark."
Click here to watch the video.

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!

~ Pastor Tim

Boy! Are Australians ever keen for writing "'Twas the Night Before Christmas" variations. Kevin Clark wrote the following one from scratch after getting a few different versions from the CleanLaugh list several years ago.

So, thanks for the new material Kevin - debuting on the CleanLaugh list even!

"Yet another Night before Christmas"

'Twas the week before holidays and on my PC
200 emails for me to see.
I got so excited, I fell off my chair -
Somebody loves me, somebody cares.

But, I should have remembered what happened before;
It was the same as last year. Only this time there's more.
I had 200 emails, each with the same theme
It was all way too much, I could almost scream.

Every new message had the same first line
"'Twas the night before (whatever)" for the 200th time.
It seems that each year the creative juices flow,
But after hours of typing there's nothing to show.

So we try to remember and suddenly recall
The only Christmas Rhyme that's known to all.
"I'll write a spoof" we say to our self
As we grab the thesaurus from the dusty bookshelf.

We write about leftovers that we eat for a week;
We write about shopping and our poor aching feet.
There's Christmas in Texas and building the toy house,
All sent to cyberspace at the click of a mouse.

So how about, this year, we do something strange.
We stop sending emails and talk for a change.
Talk to friends or strangers if you like.
Say, "MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT."

By Kevin Clark, Copyright 2003

Holiday lights should be festive, while at the same time not encouraging aircraft to land.

- Charles Lake

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There's nothing I want more this Christmas than your presents.

"The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of deep darkness a light has dawned."

- Isaiah, the prophet

Most Holy & Majestic Father,

There's so much "hype" around Christmas time. I have to admit that I enjoy all the jolly jingle and festive frolic as much as anyone. But, Lord, as I enter into the fast-paced season ahead, help me walk slowly and quietly.

Let me stop and listen to the angels sing of the greatest news ever told!

Let my heart, mind and soul join the chorus, "Glory in the Highest!! The Messiah has been born!"

Among all the bright sparkling lights and cheery holiday tunes, let my spirit travel once again toward Bethlehem to honor and worship Jesus, my King, The Prince of Peace, the Lord of Hosts, Mighty Counselor, Son of God, the Lamb. All Your love, mercy and power somehow made flesh in the tiny form of a humble baby born in a manger. Let me worship the only One who is able to take our sin away and reconcile men and women with God once again!

Amen

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.

Click here to view this edition online!  

Cybersalt News

Sunday greetings, everyone!

With the return of the season of advent, Cybersalt World Headquarters is once again full of Christmas jazz music while I work. I think I have already discovered what is going to be my favorite new find of 2022. 

Today's video share is that new find. I hope you enjoy, "Star of Wonder / We Three Kings by Kurt Elling."
Click here to watch the video.

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.

~ Pastor Tim 

The strict and unsmiling manager noticed that the suggestion box was missing from the wall beside the time clock. He began to ask around to see who knew what had become of it.

"You!" he yelled at one of his employees. "Where's the suggestion box?"

"I don't personally know, Sir," the employee responded.

"But the office gossip is that it's under your desk, wired, and ticking."

A perfectly managed Christmas correct in every detail is a sure sign of someone who hasn't enough to do.

- Katherine Whitehorn

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If you're mad at someone, first let him sit in your car, and then you can belt him.

Human beings are not born with self-control. We have to learn what to do with the mad that we feel. Learning to control ourselves is a long, hard process. It happens little by little. In fact, it is something we work on all through our lives.

- Fred Rogers

A king had to leave for a long journey, and he wondered who he should leave in charge of his kingdom while he was gone.

One day when he was out riding alone, a woman appeared in the mist. "Soon you will find the one you seek," she said. She waved a hand, and suddenly the king found himself in the simple clothes of a common woodcutter.

The king was puzzled, but he rode on.

A few minutes later he saw a boat in the lake with six noblemen. A storm was coming, and the boat was in danger. Jumping in the water, the king swam out, climbed into the boat, and helped the noblemen row safely to shore.

He heard a voice, "One of these men will be your next counselor. Invite all of them to dinner at your hut in one week's time."

The king, who still appeared to be a mere woodcutter, did so. The noblemen all promised they would come.

Back at his palace and looking like himself, the king heard the woman's voice again. "Call all those noblemen to your castle and invite them to dinner in one week's time."

Puzzled, the king did as commanded. In one week, five of the noblemen showed up, but the sixth was missing. Furious, the king commanded his guards to search the kingdom for the missing guest.

In a short time, his guards dragged the sixth nobleman to the palace and pushed him down before the king's throne. "Why did you not come with the others for my dinner party?" he demanded.

"Sire," said the nobleman, "I beg your forgiveness. But I had already accepted an invitation to dine with a woodcutter this same night. I couldn't accept your generous offer. I am sorry."

The king stood up. "You would rather dine with a mere woodcutter than with your king?"

"Sire, I gave my word. What else could I do?"

The king suddenly smiled. "I am pleased. You kept your promise, even at the risk of my anger. You are the man I have been looking for to take care of my kingdom in my absence."

The nobleman became the king's trusted counselor, and ruled wisely while the king was on his travels.

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.

Click here to view this edition online!  

Cybersalt News

Oh look, Chicken Thursday - welcome to December!

There was no mailing last Sunday. After a fun day of driving up island to take in a granddaughter's dance recital I rushed home to do a final cleanup before heading to the airport to pick up Grandma Cybersalt. However, her flight was delayed and by the time we got home I was out of steam to put the digest together. 

Speaking of steam, today's video share is of the "The FIRST Steam Motorcycle in the World." If you have one of these, I highly recommend you be very careful to keep your exhaust away from its!
Click here to watch the video.

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!

~ Pastor Tim

I had to go on a business trip the day after my honeymoon, so I decided to purchase a gift for my new wife.

At an airport gift shop, I found a coffee mug imprinted with the words, "I love you" inside a beautiful red heart. Confident the mug would please my wife, I asked to have it wrapped.

She beamed when I gave it to her at dinner that night, but her face fell when she saw the writing on the back of the mug.

It read, "Grandpa."

"I don't exercise; if God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor."

- Joan Rivers

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Have you heard the latest amoeba pick up line?

Well, those little cells just sidle right up to another and they say,

"Hey, baby, after they made you they threw away the mold."

Sometimes you have to let go of the picture of what you thought life would be like to find joy in the story you are actually living.

- Rachel Marie Martin

"I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book."
- Groucho Marx (1890-1977)

"Television: chewing gum for the eyes."
- Frank Lloyd Wright (1869-1959)

"Television is to news as bumper stickers are to philosophy."
- Richard Milhous Nixon (1913-1994)

"The problem is not that television presents us with entertaining subject matter, but that all subject matter is presented as entertaining."
- Neil Postman

"Television is an invention that permits you to be entertained in your living room by people you wouldn't have in your home."
- David Frost (1939-2013)

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.