Cybersalt Digest Archive

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Cybersalt News

Oh look, Chicken Thursday!

Grandma Cybersalt and I are back from our trip which was very enjoyable in the easiest parts and blessed in the challenging parts. For one of the Sundays we were away I was invited to preach at Calvary Church, Toronto. Their theme this fall has been "The Heart of a Disciple" and I was asked to speak about perseverance - which I did in relation to persecution.

One of my points in that message was "A persevering Christian knows persecution is a topic used by politicians to woo their vote." I think that's really important for followers of Jesus in the Western world to be aware of, which you can hear more about in today's video share.

However, there is an old Turkish proverb that I read days after I preached that I wished I had known in order to include: "The forest was shrinking but the trees kept voting for the axe, for the axe was clever and convinced the trees that because his handle was made of wood, he was one of them."

I know that in the spirit of the current political the age, voters on both sides of politics will think that proverb applies to the "other side" but generations of politicians of all stripes have promised Christians they will help bring about God's ways in their country, and when you look around they have all failed because the life God calls us to comes about through faith and spiritual renewal - not by law.

Click here to watch the video.

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!

~ Pastor Tim

Ron just got a new sports car and was out for a drive when he cut off a truck driver. The trucker motioned for Ron to pull over.

When he did, the driver got out of his truck and pulled a piece of chalk from his pocket. He drew a circle on the road and told Ron to stand in the circle and not move. He then went to Ron's new car and cut up the leather seats.

When the truck driver turned around Ron had a slight grin on his face.

"Oh, you think that's funny?" the trucker asked, "Watch this." He got a baseball bat out of his truck and broke every window in the car.

When he turned and looked Ron had a smile on his face.

This drove the driver into a rage. He got his knife back out and sliced all the tires. Now Ron was laughing. The truck driver really started to lose it. He went back to his truck and got a can of gas, poured it on the sports car and set it on fire. He turned around and Ron was laughing so hard he almost fell down.

"What's so funny?" the truck driver asked him.

Ron replied, "When you weren't looking, I stepped outside the circle 4 times."

Maybe if we start telling people their brain is an app, they'll want to use it.

"Be a Billionaire!"

and Help

Refugees and

Persecuted Christians

John was furious when his steak arrived too rare.

"Waiter," he shouted, "Didn't you hear me say 'well done'?"

"I can't thank you enough, sir," replied the waiter. "I hardly ever get a compliment."

"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow."

- Melody Beattie

While on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant and resumed their trip. When leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly left her glasses on the table and she didn't miss them until they had been driving about twenty minutes.

By then, to add to the aggravation, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a place to turn around, in order to return to the restaurant to retrieve her glasses.

All the way back, the elderly husband became the classic grouchy old man. He fussed and complained and scolded his wife relentlessly during the entire return drive. The more he chided her, the more agitated he became. He just wouldn't let up one minute.

To her relief, they finally arrived at the restaurant. As the woman got out of the car and hurried inside to retrieve her glasses, her husband yelled to her, "While you're in there, you might as well get my hat and the credit card."

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.

Click here to view this edition online!  

Cybersalt News

Oh look, Chicken Thursday!

Grandma Cybersalt and my travels are going well. Right now she is in Portland Oregon at a conference while I am still in Ontario wrapping up with more time with my parents. Your prayers are appreciated.

Today's video is exactly what you would expect to get if you gathered a lot of people together who have funny laughs: Funny Laughter!
Click here to watch the video.

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!

~ Pastor Tim

I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second-grade classroom a few years back.

When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and experience a little public speaking. And it gives me a break and some 'guaranteed entertainment' Usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it to school and talk about it, they're welcome.

Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very out-going kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater. She holds up a snapshot of an infant. "This is Luke, my baby brother ... and I'm going to tell you about his birthday. First, Mommy and Daddy made him as a symbol of their love, and then Daddy put a seed in my mother's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord."

She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had a video camera rolling. The kids are watching her in amazement. "Then, about two Saturdays ago, my mother starts going 'Oh, oh, oh!'" Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. Ohhhhhhh. "She walked around the house for ... like an hour, "Oh, oh, oh!'" Now the kid is doing this hysterical duck-walk, holding her back and groaning.

"My father called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my mother to lie down in bed like this." Erica lies down with her back against the wall. "And then, pop! My mother had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed ... like psshhheew!" The kid has her legs spread and with her little hands is miming water flowing away. It was too much!

"Then the middle wife starts going push, push, and breathe, breathe. They start counting, but they never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff they said was from the play-center, so there must be a lot of stuff inside there."

Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat.

I'm sure I applauded the loudest.

Last night my girlfriend was complaining that I never listen to her … or something like that.

"Be a Billionaire!"

and Help

Refugees and

Persecuted Christians

"Pi R squared. Nooo! Pie R round, cornbread R square!"

"If life were predictable it would cease to be life, and be without flavor."

- Eleanor Roosevelt

The shipwrecked sailor had spent several years on a deserted island. Then one morning he was thrilled to see a ship offshore and a smaller vessel pulling out toward him.

When the boat grounded on the beach, the officer in charge handed the marooned sailor a bundle of newspapers and told him, "With the captain's compliments. He said to read through these and let us know if you still want to be rescued."

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.

Click here to view this edition online!  

Cybersalt News

Sunday greetings, everyone!

Today's news is that Grandma Cybersalt and I spent yesterday travelling back east to visit my folks. We have arrive safely and ready for some sleep!

Today's video share is an interesting experiment demonstrating learned helplessness.
Click here to watch the video.

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.

~ Pastor Tim 

The new librarian decided that instead of checking out children's books by writing the names of borrowers on the book cards herself, she would have the youngsters sign their own names. She would then tell them they were signing a "Contract" for returning the books on time.

Her first customer was a second grader, who looked surprised to see a new librarian. He brought four books to the desk and shoved them across to the librarian, giving her his name as he did so.

The librarian pushed the books back and told him to sign them out. The boy laboriously printed his name on each book card and then handed them to her with a look of utter disgust.

Before the librarian could even start her speech he said, scornfully, "That other librarian we had could write."

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not too sure.

"Be a Billionaire!"

and Help

Refugees and

Persecuted Christians

A farmer called his pig Ball Point.

Well, it wasn't its real name - just a pen name.

"Even in the trials of life, if we have eyes to see them, we can find good things everywhere we look."

- Joanna Gaines

Can a Vicar ever win?

If he visit’s his flock he’s nosey.
If he doesn’t - he’s lazy or a snob.

If he preaches longer than 10 minutes it’s too long.
If he doesn’t - he can’t be bothered to prepare for services.

If he runs a car he’s worldly.
If he doesn’t he’s always late for appointments.

If he tells a joke he’s flippant.
If he doesn’t he’s far too serious

If he starts the service on time his watch must be fast.
If he’s a minute late, he’s keeping the congregation waiting.

If he takes a holiday he’s never in the Parish.
If he doesn’t he’s a stick-in-the-mud.

If he runs a gala or bazaar he’s money mad.
If he doesn’t there’s no social life in the Parish.

If he has the church painted and refurbished he’s extravagant.
If he doesn’t the church is looking shabby and he doesn’t care.

If he’s young he’s inexperienced. If he’s old he should retire.

But .......... when he dies, there’s never been anyone like him!

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.

Click here to view this edition online!  

Cybersalt News

Oh look, Chicken Thursday!

Grandma Cybersalt and I both had colds this week, but we are grateful for the timing because this weekend we are heading on a trip back east to visit my parents and our daughter and her family. We are already feeling much better and that will make for more comfortable travelling for sure!

Today's video share shows a dog for whom playing dead wasn't good enough. He wanted to play statue!
Click here to watch the video.

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!

~ Pastor Tim

A young man was having some money problems, and needed $200 to get his car fixed and road-worthy again but had run out of people to borrow from. So, he calls his parents via the operator, reverses the charge and says to his dad, "I need to borrow two hundred dollars."

At the other end, his father says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, son, I think there may be a bad line."

The boy shouts, "Two hundred. I need two hundred dollars!"

"Sorry, I still can't hear you clearly," says his father.

The operator cuts in, "Sorry to butt in, but I can hear him perfectly."

The father says, "Oh, good. You send him the money!"

Relationships are a lot like algebra ... have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?

"Be a Billionaire!"

and Help

Refugees and

Persecuted Christians

How can you tell which rabbits are the oldest in the group?

Answer: Just look for the grey hares.

"When I started counting my blessings, my whole life turned around."

- Willie Nelson

You know you are living in the 21st century when ...

. Your reason for not staying in touch with family is that they do not have e-mail addresses.

. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.

. You call your son's beeper to let him know it's time to eat. He e-mails you back from his bedroom, "What's for dinner?"

. Your daughter sells Girl Scout Cookies via her web site.

. You chat several times a day with a stranger from South Africa, but you haven't spoken with your next door neighbor yet this year.

. You check the ingredients on a can of chicken noodle soup to see if it contains Echinacea.

. Your grandmother asks you to send her a JPEG file of your newborn so she can create a screen saver.

. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home.

. Every commercial on television has a web site address at the bottom of the screen.

. You buy a computer and 6 months later it is out of date and now sells for half the price you paid.

. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go get it.

. Using real money, instead of credit or debit, to make a purchase would be a hassle and takes planning.

. Cleaning up the dining room means getting the fast food bags out of the back seat of your car.

. You just tried to enter your password on the microwave.

. You consider second day air delivery painfully slow.

. Your dining room table is now your flat filing cabinet.

. Your idea of being organized is multiple colored Post-it notes.

. You hear most of your jokes via e-mail instead of in person.

. You disconnect from the Internet and get this awful feeling, as if you just pulled the plug on a loved one.

. You get up in morning and go on-line before getting your coffee.

. You wake up at 2 AM to go to the bathroom and check your E-mail on your way back to bed.

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.