I plead contemporary insanity.
One-liners
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Self-Annihilating Sentence:
A good system can transform complexity into chaos.
Self-Annihilating Description
Not having to get there is as good as a day in the country.
Self-annihilating Description
From here on down, it's uphill all the way.
Self-annihilating Command
Men, women, and children first.
Self-annihilating Command
Authorized parking is forbidden!
Self-annihilating Command
Ignore this sign!
If everything goes perfectly, something's wrong.
The only attitude I trust is skepticism.
While these results may seem rather trivial, their importance cannot be underestimated.
Is it time for your medication or mine?
Home-Schooling Update:
My child just said, "I hope I don't have the same teacher next year."
The Five Symptoms of Laziness:
1.
The next time your wife gets angry, drape a towel over her shoulders (like a cape) and say, "Now you're SUPER ANGRY!" Maybe she'll laugh; maybe you'll die.
Whoever decided a Liquor Store is more essential than a Hair Salon is obviously a bald-headed alcoholic.