I'm the type of wife that will help my husband look for his chocolate, that I ate.
One-liners
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
My going out clothes have missed me so much; I put them on yesterday and they hugged me so tightly I couldn't move!
When a teenager is watching TV, listening to her music, and talking on the phone, she is probably doing her homework.
“I think it’s wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.”
– Steven Wright
Behind every successful working woman is an enormous pile of laundry!
She has the personality of a dial tone.
Man blames fate for other accidents, but feels personally responsible when he makes a hole-in-one.
Never lend money to a friend; it ruins their memory.
A kiss is a pleasant reminder that two heads are better than one.
More money is now spent amusing children than was spent on the education of their grandparents.
One for the money,
two for the show,
three to get ready,
four to go,
and twenty when you get back for the babysitter.
She suffers in silence louder than anyone I know!
Vacation: What you take when you can no longer take what you've been taking all along!
She drives a vehicle that costs $1,000 a mile ... a shopping cart.
She calls her car "flattery" because it gets her nowhere.