Customer: Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!
Waiter: Don't worry, sir. The frog should surface any moment now.
A guy is taking a walk and sees a frog on the side of the road. As he comes closer, the frog starts to talk.
'Kiss me and I will turn into a princess.' The guy picks the frog up and puts it in his pocket. The frog starts shouting, 'Hey! Didn't you hear me? I'm a Princess. Just kiss me and I will be yours.' The guy takes the frog out of his pocket and smiles at it and puts it back. The frog is really frustrated. 'I don't get it. Why won't you kiss me? I will turn into a beautiful princess I tell you!' The guy says, 'Look, I'm a computer geek. I don't have time for girls. But a talking frog is cool.!'
Little Johnny wanted to go to the zoo and pestered his parents for days. Finally his mother talked his reluctant father into taking him.
"So how was it?" his mother asked when they returned home.
"Great," Little Johnny replied.
"Did you and your father have a good time?" asked his mother.
"Yeah, Daddy especially liked it," exclaimed Little Johnny excitedly, "especially when one of the animals came home at 30 to 1!"
In a restroom at IBM's Watson Center, a supervisor had placed a sign directly above the sink. It had a single word on it:
"THINK"!
The next day, when he went to the restroom, he looked at the sign and right below, immediately above the soap dispenser, someone had carefully lettered another sign which read:
"THOAP!"
Twas the night of Tax Day, and all thru the house,
Every creature was whirring, even the mouse.
The floppy was placed in the disk drive with care,
In certainty Saint Silicon soon would be there.
The chips were nestled All snug in their sockets,
Their RAM filled with visions of STARWARS and ROCKETS.
And Mamma in her kerchief and I in my cap
Had just settled down for a long ev'ning's rap,
When out of the drives there arose such a racket,
I raised up my fist, right ready to whack it.
Away to the printer I flew like a flash,
And I swore that I'd change my brand of hash!
More rapid than junk FAX these tax forms they came,
And it booped and it beeped and it called 'em by name:
Now Form 1040! Now Form 1065! Now Schedules A and D too!
On! Form 1120! Form 4562!! Form 1098!!! Form 8362!!!!
To the top of the ladder,
To The Top of The Heap!
Just go away, Go Away!
I gotta sleep.
As stray bits which down the cable do fly,
When they meet with the processor, soon go awry,
So up the tab all these taxes they flew,
With a surtax and threats of penalty and interest too!
Now it may be some virus was having its yucks,
But the total was over 87 kilobux.
So she read all the Pubs, and she said, "What the heck!"
Then we signed all the forms, and we wrote 'em a check.
And crossing her fingers and blowing her nose
And giving a nod, from her chair she arose.
She ran to her van, to the key gave a twist,
With a spray of gravel, she shook her fist,
And I heard her exclaim as she roared out of sight--
"I think in Paducah they'll postmark it midnight."
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
