"When I was a youngster," complained the frustrated father, shaking his head, "I was disciplined by being sent to my room without supper. But our son has his own color TV, phone, computer and CD player."
"So what do you do when your son misbehaves?" asked his friend.
"I send him to our room!"
Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at Calvary Memorial Church in Racine. Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.
PRAYER & FASTING CONFERENCE: "The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals".
Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 p.m. in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again" giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
"Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands".
Next Sunday is the family hayride and bonfire at the Fowlers'. Bring your own hot dogs and guns. Friends are welcome! Everyone come for a fun time.
Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.
The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been cancelled due to a conflict.
The sermon this morning: "Jesus walks on the water". The sermon tonight:
"Searching for Jesus".
Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
The "Over 60's Choir" will be disbanded for the summer with thanks.
The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.
The Pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.
Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on "It's a terrible experience".
Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.
Our young daughter had adopted a stray cat. To my distress, he began to use the back of our new sofa as a scratching post. "Don't worry," my husband reassured me. "I'll have him trained in no time."
I watched for several days as my husband patiently "trained" our new pet. Whenever the cat scratched, my husband deposited him outdoors to teach him a lesson.
The cat learned quickly. For the next 16 years, whenever he wanted to go outside, he scratched the back of the sofa.
A goober had just bought a new sports car and was out for a drive when she swerved unexpectedly and cut off an eighteen- wheeled trailer truck. The driver was very angry, and motioned for her to pull over. When she did, he got out of his truck and asked her to get out of her car. She did and he then pulled a piece of chalk from his pocket. He drew a circle on the pavement and told the goober to stand in the circle and not move.
He then went over to her car and slashed its leather seats with a knife. When he turned around, she had a slight grin on her face. So, he said, "Oh you think that's funny? Watch this!" He got a baseball bat out of his truck and broke every window in her car! When he turned again to look at her, she had a smile on her face. He got even angrier. He got his knife back out and sliced all her tires.
Now she was laughing! Then, the truck driver really started to lose it He went back to his truck and got a can of gasoline, poured it on her car, and lit it on fire! As the car burned, he turned around again, and saw that she was laughing so hard she was about to fall down!
"What's so funny?" the truck driver demanded! The goober replied, "When you weren't looking I stepped outside the circle four times!"
While at the mall, I saw an elderly couple holding hands while they were walking. As they approached, I commented on how romantic it was.
He replied, "We have been holding hands when we go out in public for over thirty years. I have to. If I let go, she shops."
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
