There was a gentleman in the hospital bed next to me. He was covered with bandages from head to toe.
I said to him, "What do you do for a living?"
He said, "Well, I used to be a window washer."
I asked, "When did you give it up?"
He replied, "Halfway down."
This lady surprised a burglar in her kitchen. He was all loaded down with the things he was going to steal. She had no weapon and was all alone. The only thing that she could think to do was quote scripture. So she holds up a hand and says: "ACTS 2:38!!!"
The burglar quakes in fear and then freezes to the point that she is able to get to the phone and call 911 for the cops. When the cops arrive, the burglar is still frozen in place. They are very much surprised that a woman alone with no weapon could do this. One of them asked the lady: "How did you do this?"
The woman replied, "I quoted scripture."
The cop turned to the burglar: "What was it about the scripture that had such an effect on you?"
The burglar replied: "Scripture! What scripture? I thought she said she had an ax and two 38's."
Meteorological experts predicted a massive flood that would destroy the world.
The Pope went on worldwide TV and said, "This is punishment from God. Prepare to meet your maker."
The president went on TV and announced, "Our scientist have done all they can. The end is near."
The mayor of Seattle came on and said, "Due to inclement weather, this year's Seafair Parade will be moved to the top of Queen Anne Hill."
One night at McCord Air Force Base, I was dispatched to check out the security fence where an alarm had gone off. The fence was at the end of the base runway.
When I got to the scene, I found a raccoon was the culprit, so I ran around and flapped my arms to scare the animal away.
Suddenly an air-traffic controller came over the public-address system and announced loudly,
"Attention to the airman at the end of the runway. You are now cleared for takeoff."
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
