Monthly Archive

2005

Welcome to our Archives page. On this page you will find a total of 964 of our articles broken down into Months and Years.
Steeple Paint
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
5048
<1min

Steeple Paint

The church steeple in Port Gibson is very high, and was being painted on a rather hot day.  The painter was about half-way down and, as the steeple was widening out, was taking more and more pain... read more..
Perfectly Broken
Rev. Spence Laycock
Rev. Spence Laycock
3696
9 min read

Perfectly Broken

I once had a friend named Harvey, a great big guy that worked with us in the construction and renovation of houses.   Harvey    was really valued because he was crazy with a s... read more..
Get Better Soon
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3417
<1min

Get Better Soon

A retired man who volunteers to entertain patients in nursing homes and hospitals went to Maimonides Hospital in Brooklyn and took his portable keyboard along. He told some jokes and sang some funny ... read more..
In My House, If It's Broken I Bought It
God's Penman
Rev. James L. Snyder
5093
5 min read

In My House, If It's Broken I Bought It

Often a store has a sign with the warning, "You break it, you bought it." This is to keep people from carelessly handling the merchandise. I'm thinking of another sign, which should be posted all thr... read more..
"Not" Working
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4668
2 min read

"Not" Working

Dear Secretary of Agriculture, My friends, Darryl and Janice, over at Jonestown, Oklahoma, received a check the other day for $1,000 from the government for not raising hogs.  So, I want to go ... read more..
Government Car
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3596
<1min

Government Car

As my husband, the county highway commissioner, was driving to the hospital for treatment of his painful leg, he decided to use the valet parking service so he wouldn't have to walk far. Staring at h... read more..
$100.00 Please
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3943
<1min

$100.00 Please

A little boy, who wanted $100.00 very badly, prayed for two weeks but nothing happened.  Then he decided to write GOD a letter requesting $100.00. When the postal authorities received the letter... read more..
Give It Up!
Peggie's Den
Peggie Bohanon
5567
3 min read

Give It Up!

The little girl clutched her play necklace, a fake to be sure, but a favorite.  Her dad, having a planned surprise for his little girl, said, "I have something special for you; open your hand!"&n... read more..
Lemon-Aid
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4836
<1min

Lemon-Aid

A local bar was so sure its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a $1000 bet that the bartender could squeeze a lemon so dry no one could get another drop out.  Many people tr... read more..
Bringing Jesus To Life
The Spur
Marcia Lee Laycock
4086
3 min read

Bringing Jesus To Life

"Double, double, toil and trouble. Fire burn and cauldron bubble." The woman was hunched over, her hands clasped around an imaginary ladle, as she stirred an imaginary cauldron and continued to recite read more..
Rich Uncle
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4554
<1min

Rich Uncle

Two men are talking. One says to the other, "I shouldn't have told my fiancée about my rich uncle."He friend asks, "Why not?"The first man replies, "Because now she's my aunt."... read more..
Bubba's Friends
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4853
2 min read

Bubba's Friends

Bubba was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know.  Just name someone, anyone, and I know them." Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Bubba ho... read more..
Faith and Determination
Pastor Bert Nieuwenhuis
Pastor Bert Nieuwenhuis
5385
16 min read

Faith and Determination

The following is supposedly a true story. Shortly after the 911 emergency number became available, an elderly and quite ill lady appeared in a Rochester hospital emergency room, having driven herself ... read more..
Abstract Noun
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4039
<1min

Abstract Noun

"An abstract noun," the teacher said, "is something you can think of, but you can't touch it. Can you give me an example of one?""Sure," a teenage boy replied. "My father's new car." read more..
The friars of Flowers (pun alert)
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
5109
<1min

The friars of Flowers (pun alert)

Some friars were behind in their belfry payments, so they opened a small florist shop to raise the funds.  Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, the rival florist across town t... read more..
One Temptation is as Good as Another
Dr. Harold McNabb
Dr. Harold McNabb
3717
7 min read

One Temptation is as Good as Another

A couple of days ago I arrived at the church in the morning on a beautiful sunny day. Allen Houghton arrived at almost the same time for a meeting we would both attend. "Another meeting", I thought to... read more..
Today I didn't Do It
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
5039
2 min read

Today I didn't Do It

One afternoon a man came home from work to find total mayhem in his house.  His three children were outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn ... read more..
Pilot Pride
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4824
<1min

Pilot Pride

As one of relatively few female airline pilots, I've often been mistaken for a flight attendant, ticket agent or even a snack bar employee. Occasionally people will see me in uniform and ask if I'm a... read more..
Romance Around The Parsonage Fireplace
God's Penman
Rev. James L. Snyder
4316
4 min read

Romance Around The Parsonage Fireplace

There is no greater place for personal reflection than before a fireplace with a cheery fire. Since our parsonage does not have a fireplace, the Mistress of the Parsonage has improvised. She purchase... read more..
Tough Kids
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3477
<1min

Tough Kids

Three little boys were bragging about how tough they were."I'm so tough", said the first boy, "that I can wear out a pair of shoes in a week"."Well", said the second little boy, "I'm so tough, I can w... read more..
After My Heart
Barb's Mantle
Barbara Sanders
4546
3 min read

After My Heart

Valentine Day is upon us again . I reflect back to the time when my husband and I were dating. We started dating in March, so we missed that year's Valentine Day. And, when the next year's Valentine D... read more..
Work Show and Tell
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3311
<1min

Work Show and Tell

Stopping to pick up my daughter at kindergarten, I found out that the topic of show and tell that day had been parents' occupations. The teacher pulled me aside. Whispering, she advised, "You might ... read more..
You Light Up My Life...or Don?t Darken my Door!?!
Peggie's Den
Peggie Bohanon
4338
3 min read

You Light Up My Life...or Don?t Darken my Door!?!

The title says it all--it's either all or nothing for the Valentine lovers or ex-lovers preparing to celebrate - or un-celebrate Valentine's Day on its way to the USA. You either catch the fever and k... read more..
Country Tunes
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3565
<1min

Country Tunes

My wife and I were browsing in a crafts store when I noticed a display of country-style musical instruments. After looking over the flutes, dulcimers and recorders, I picked up a shiny, one-stringed ... read more..
A Little Imagination
The Spur
Marcia Lee Laycock
4928
3 min read

A Little Imagination

What do you imagine? A better job, a better house, more money, perhaps a vacation in the South Pacific? We all let our imagination run away with us from time to time. Some of our greatest inventions a... read more..
Jericho Walls
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
14706
<1min

Jericho Walls

The new pastor decided to visit the children's Sunday school. The teacher introduced him and said, "Pastor, this morning we're studying Joshua.""That's wonderful," said the new pastor, "let's see wha... read more..
Waking Up Mad
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
5515
2 min read

Waking Up Mad

One day a man took the train from Paris to Frankfurt.  When he got in he said to the ticket man: "Sir.  I really need you to do me a favor, I have to get out of this train in Mannheim, but I... read more..
My Cloud of Witnesses
Guest Authors
Pastor Tim
5336
5 min read

My Cloud of Witnesses

One of my heroes is someone I've never met. Perhaps you've heard of her--Gladys Aylward. Her story has been told in a popular biography, a film starring Ingrid Bergman, and a BBC "This Is Your Life" f... read more..
Sermon Sub
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3252
<1min

Sermon Sub

A minister was called away unexpectedly by the illness of a close family member. He entrusted his new assistant with filling the pulpit. The Pastor's wife stayed home. When he returned, the ministe... read more..
Cake Baking for Mom's of Small Children
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
6386
2 min read

Cake Baking for Mom's of Small Children

Cake Baking for Mom's of Small Children Preheat oven, get out utensils and ingredients. Remove blocks and toy cars from table. Grease pan, crack nuts. Measure two cups flour. Remove b... read more..
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