2005 - Monthly Archive - Results from #930

16 Jan

Guest Authors

Pastor Tim

5593

7 min read

A Pardon Free and Clear

Throughout the television program, as I counseled people who called in search of spiritual help and prayed on the air with those who wanted to open their hearts to Jesus Christ, the station manager st... read more..

16 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3536

<1min

Huge Steak

A guy had told all of his friends about the great steak he'd eaten downtown the day before. A group of them decided to head down and see if was really as large and delicious as he was making it out t... read more..

I Hate My Computer and Other Inspirational Thoughts

15 Jan

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

4933

5 min read

I Hate My Computer and Other Inspirational Thoughts

The New Year has not started out very well for Yours Truly. After the first day of the new year, my life went south for the rest of the winter. All I can say is, I hope it has a wonderful winter, and ... read more..

15 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

6059

<1min

Honest Mechanic

I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off, so I was relieved when he told me all I needed was blinker fluid.(Dave Henry)... read more..

15 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3499

<1min

Traffice Warning

As he was driving home from work, a man in a rural community was stopped by a local police officer. The motorist was given a ticket for failing to come to a full stop at a stop sign."Don't I get a wa... read more..

14 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5144

<1min

Who Said That?

If quitters never win, & winners never quit, what fool came up with "Quit while you're ahead"?What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?I thought about how mothers... read more..

14 Jan

The Spur

Marcia Lee Laycock

3862

4 min read

A Change In Name

I was reading a newspaper the other day and noticed something interesting. A fairly well-known ministry has just changed how it refers to itself in advertising. Its full name is no longer apparent. In... read more..

14 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3445

<1min

Roof Chicken

One day a State Trooper was pulling off an expressway near Chicago. When he turned onto the street at the end of the ramp, he noticed someone at a chicken place getting into his car. The driver plac... read more..

13 Jan

Barb's Mantle

Barbara Sanders

4236

3 min read

My Cup Runneth Over

There are many out there who have a 'plate full'; in other words, they have more than their share of the bad things of life. Those families of South East Asia who were hit by the tsunami s... read more..

13 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5724

<1min

Died In The Service

One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex was staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. The seven-year-old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so th... read more..

13 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3551

<1min

Clothing Return

While working in a clothing store, I noticed that people had no shame about returning items that obviously had been worn. One rainy morning I walked in and found a discolored blazer hanging on the rac... read more..

12 Jan

Melva's Devotions

Melva Cooper

6998

3 min read

Overtime

"All of us must quickly carry out the tasks assigned us?because there is little time left before the night falls and all work comes to an end." - John 9:4 (NLT)Basketball has been a large pa read more..

12 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4979

2 min read

Isn't Aging Fun?

Do you realize that the only time in our liveswhen we like to get old is when we're kids?If you're less than 10 years old,you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.How old are you?....... read more..

12 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3407

<1min

ER Reminder

I am five feet, three inches tall and pleasingly plump. After I had a minor accident, my mother accompanied me to the emergency room.The ER nurse asked for my height and weight, and I blurted out, "F... read more..

11 Jan

Cybersalt Shaker

Pastor Tim

7680

10 min read

Let's Give Jane Fonda A Break

In order to understand what I have to say about Jane Fonda, I must first present to you what is circulating around on the net about her. I have it here to set up my comments, not to pass it alon... read more..

11 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5424

2 min read

Quotable Quotes

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when my mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph. --Shirley TempleIf all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, ... read more..

11 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3712

<1min

E-Mail Blessing

E-Mail BlessingPeace be unto you, your computer and the e-mail you receive this day.May the mail you receive not require you to multiply it tenfold or Return it within a limited time frame.May the mai... read more..

The Art Of Balancing The Parsonage Checkbook

10 Jan

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

4639

5 min read

The Art Of Balancing The Parsonage Checkbook

A chance remark by the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage threw Yours Truly into a dismal panic this past week. Believe me, there is nothing pretty about panic in the parsonage. This idle comment turn... read more..

10 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

6379

<1min

Amazing Anagrams

Not strictly humor, but truly amazing....Dormitory = Dirty RoomThe Morse Code = Here Come DotsSlot Machines = Cash Lost in 'emAnimosity = Is No AmitySnooze Alarms = Alas! No More Z'sAlec Guinness = Ge... read more..

10 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3504

<1min

Innocent Question

A prosecuting attorney just could not believe that a jury had found the defendant not guilty.Astonished, he asked the jury foreman, "How could you possibly have found this man innocent?"The foreman re... read more..

09 Jan

Dr. Harold McNabb

4538

7 min read

The Baptismal Vows of Jesus

When I graduated from the Baptist Leadership Training School in Calgary, 1967, before University and theological college, the school yearbook had some caption about us under our photograph... read more..

09 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

8158

<1min

Zack and His Mule

Zack and his mule were walking down the road when one of Zack's friends drove up and offered him a ride to town. Zack got into the truck while his mule ran along behind. The mule was right... read more..

09 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4459

<1min

Cool In The Desert

Two guys met in the middle of the desert. One was carrying a car door, the other an umbrella.The one with the car door said to the guy with the umbrella, "Why are you carrying that umbrella around, i... read more..

08 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5403

<1min

The Vet and The Doc

A veterinarian was feeling ill and went to see her doctor. The doctor asked her all the usual questions, about symptoms, how long had they been occurring, etc., when she interrupted him: "H... read more..

08 Jan

The Spur

Marcia Lee Laycock

4687

3 min read

We Have Been Warned

When I first heard the news about the Tsunami my heart started beating a little faster and my mind immediately started listing the people we know in that area of the world. The list isn't long, but it... read more..

08 Jan

Appreciation Notes

Pastor Tim

9127

4 min read

Tsunami Sermon Feedback

Dear Pastor Tim, I have been on your clean laugh list for what must be over a year now. It remains a blessing to me to open a clean and cheerful email from you every morning. Your site is truly sal... read more..

08 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3333

<1min

Newcomer Court

"Your Honor, I want to bring to your attention how unfair it is for my client to be accused of theft. He arrived in New York City a week ago and barely knows his way around. What's more, he only spe read more..

04 Jan

The Spur

Marcia Lee Laycock

4718

3 min read

Sometimes the Simple Things Touch Us

We woke up to a picturesque Alberta winter scene last Sunday - big flakes of snow had piled themselves up against our windows and doors and they were still coming down when we piled ourselves into the... read more..

04 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3310

<1min

Range Cancelled

At one Army base, the annual trip to the rifle range had been canceled for the second year in a row, but the semi-annual physical fitness test was still on as planned.One soldier mused, "Does it bothe... read more..

03 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3201

<1min

Vacation Report

Christmas Break was over and the teacher was asking the class about their vacations. She turned to little Johnny and asked what he did over the break."We visited my grandmother in Punxsutawney, Penns... read more..