Cybersalt Digest Archive

Cybersalt News

Oh look, chicken Thursday!

Can you hear that screaming? If you can, it's probably list member Liberte H. who is almost out of his tree waiting to find out what Chicken Thursday is. Unfortunately Liberte and other CT wonderers are going to have to wait a few more days because my plans for the big reveal - which undoubtedly will leave many devastatingly disappointed because nothing can live up to that much excitement (see "honeymoon" in dictionary) - are dependent upon the fixing up of a for-years broken part of the Cybersalt site. It's very close, though. Really.

Speaking of trust, since the war on terror has been on for just under 10 years, it seems nobody trusts anyone anymore. See what I mean at:
http://www.cybersalt.org/funny-dog-pictures/dog-customs-puppies

Enjoy the rest of today's digest.

chicken Thursday chicken Thursday chicken Thursday chicken Thursday chicken Thursday chicken Thursday chicken Thursday

Here is today's CleanLaugh - "Living History Museum"

Marv took his family to visit a living history museum, which included seeing houses and stores that were more than one hundred years old.

After they entered an old one-room schoolhouse Marv pointed to a desk that had an empty hole for an ink bottle.

"What do you think this hole was for?" he asked his kids.

His twelve-year-old son Martin replied, "It's a Coke can holder."

Today's CleanPun

"Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie. "

Today's One Liner

"May thy ball lie in green pastures ... and not in still waters."

Today's CleanQuote

"Everywhere I go, I am asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that it doesn't stifle enough of them."
~ Flannery O'Connor

Today's Illustration - "Caught in the Act"

Featured Illustration items are well suited for introducing or illuminating a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

Catching her in the act, I confronted our 3-year-old granddaughter, "Are you eating your little sister's grapes?" I demanded.

"No," she innocently replied, "I'm helping her share."

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.

Pastor Tim pastored at Westside Bible Church, Victoria, British Columbia from November 1996 to October 2017.

Cybersalt News

We've all heard of the headless horseman. Here is a picture of the headless horse man!
http://www.cybersalt.org/funny-pictures/horse-tree

Enjoy the rest of today's digest.

Here is today's CleanLaugh - "Clumsy Ad Copy"

- No matter what your topcoat is made of, this miracle spray will make it really repellent.

- We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.

- For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.

- Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.

- Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.

- Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.

- Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again.

Today's CleanPun

"I'm going to the dentist today: HOPE I DON'T COME BACK ALL CAPS!"

Today's One Liner

“The key to success is sincerity. Once you can fake that, you’ve got it made.”
~ Jean Giraudoux.

Today's CleanQuote

"It is the daily grind that gives a person polish."

Today's Illustration - "Born Salesman"

Featured Illustration items are well suited for introducing or illuminating a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

I learned a lesson in marketing from a man who bought an old boat, a trailer, and a motor from me. "Thanks," he said as he loaded them up. "I'm planning to resell them."

Good luck, I thought. I had been trying to get rid of them for months. But when I ran into him a few weeks later, he'd sold everything.

"How did you manage that?" I marveled.

"I took out an ad: 'Heavy-duty boat trailer with free boat.' When the buyer came to get it, I asked if he had a motor. He said no. I told him I happened to have one in my garage. Bought that, too."

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.

Pastor Tim pastored at Westside Bible Church, Victoria, British Columbia from November 1996 to October 2017.

Cybersalt News

The digest is back after a great long-weekend with friends visiting from Chile. More on that in the near future.

In the meantime, if the movie "Sound of Music" had some marine life in it, it might have gone a little like this:
http://www.cybersalt.org/funny-pictures/walrus-call

Enjoy the rest of today's digest.

Here is today's CleanLaugh - "Husband Chair Feedback"

A young man was sitting next to me in one of the two "husband chairs" in a ladies' clothing store.

After 30 minutes and five outfits, the fellow's wife came out of the change room again.

He looked at her and immediately said: "That looks good on you. Get that one."

"Honey," she replied, "this is what I was wearing when we came in."

Today's CleanPun

"Bacteria: They're the only culture some people have."

Today's One Liner

"According to the Academy of Incomplete Research, 9 out of 10."

Today's CleanQuote

"Diplomacy in Leadership: The art of letting someone else have your way."

Today's Illustration - "Sons-in-Law and Daughters-In-Law"

Featured Illustration items are well suited for introducing or illuminating a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

Congratulating a friend after her son and daughter got married within a month of each other, a woman asked, "What kind of boy did your daughter marry?"

"Oh, he's wonderful," gushed the mother. "He lets her sleep late, wants her to go to the beauty parlour regularly, and insists on taking her out to dinner every night."

"That's sounds lovely," said the woman. "What about your son?"

"I'm not so happy about that," the mother sighed. "His wife sleeps late, spends all her time in the beauty parlour, and makes them eat take-out meals!"

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.

Pastor Tim pastored at Westside Bible Church, Victoria, British Columbia from November 1996 to October 2017.

Cybersalt News

Oh look, chicken Thursday - and I am happy to report something has fallen into place so I will soon be explaining chicken Thursday!

Do you worry your kids will dent or scratch your car when you loan it to them? Perhaps the following might be a solution:
http://www.cybersalt.org/funny-pictures/car-promise

Enjoy the rest of today's digest.

Here is today's CleanLaugh - "Great Exercise Program"

Here's the exercise program I'm using to stay in shape this year. You might want to take it easy at first, then do it faster as you become more proficient. It may be too strenuous for some.

AS ALWAYS, CONSULT YOUR DOCTOR BEFORE STARTING ANY EXERCISE PROGRAM!

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Okay, that's enough for the first day! -whew-

Today's CleanPun

"Cosmetics are a woman's way of keeping a man from reading between the lines."

Today's One Liner

"A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries."

Today's CleanQuote

"Courage is fear that has said its prayers."

Today's Illustration - "Good Vocabulary"

Featured Illustration items are well suited for introducing or illuminating a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

Stressing the importance of a good vocabulary, the teacher told her young charges, "Use a word ten times, and it shall be yours for life."

From somewhere in the back of the room, came a small male voice chanting, "Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda."

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.

Pastor Tim pastored at Westside Bible Church, Victoria, British Columbia from November 1996 to October 2017.