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Cybersalt News
Oh Look Chicken Thursday - and happy 25th anniversary to the Cybersalt Digest!
That's right, today is the 15th anniversary of the sending out my first newsletter. That first edition went on September 28, 1998 through an email list I created and named "Pastor Tim's CleanLaugh List."
At that time the list was managed through onelist.com, which eventually was bought by YahooGroups. In time, I was unhappy with the lack of control I had over the type of ads that YahooGroups was inserting in my email, so I learned how to host and send out the newsletter on my own.
There is much more history and stories to tell you about how that first newsletter grew into the ministry and business that Cybersalt is today. Unfortunately my plan to put that all together has suffered from a surplus of good intentions and a deficit of time to do so. But, for now, let is suffice to say that I am grateful and thankful to Jesus for the huge blessing all things Cybersalt have been in my life, and for wonderful blessing you all have been as part of Cybersalt! Grandma Cybersalt and I appreciate every one of you!
If you would like to read the first joke sent out on that day, here is the link:
www.cybersalt.org/clean-jokes/brave-firefighters
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.
~ Pastor Tim
Check that Address!
Mr. Johnson, a businessman from Wisconsin, went on a business trip to Louisiana. He immediately sent an e-mail back home to his wife, Jennifer (JenJohnson).
Unfortunately, he forgot his wife's exact e-mail address and the e-mail ended up going to a Mrs. Joan Johnson (JJohnson) of New Jersey, the wife of a preacher who had just passed away. The preacher's wife took one look at the e-mail and promptly fainted.
When she was finally revived by her daughter, she nervously pointed to the message, which read: "Arrived safely, but it sure is hot down here."
One-Liner #1776
(How to politely tell someone they are not very bright.)
Wisdom has always been chasing you, but you have always been faster.
"Be a Billionaire!"
and Help
Refugees and
Persecuted Christians
Boat Names
A boating magazine ran a contest for clever boat names. The following names reeled in the honors:
Brace Yourself (owned by an orthodontist)
Sir Osis of the River
Aqua Seltzer
Out to Launch
Watertight Alibi (owned by a lawyer)
Meals on Reels
The Merri Yot
and, from a landscape contractor, Yard Buoy.
Quote #2211
"Our prayers may be awkward. Our attempts may be feeble. But since the power of prayer is in the One who hears it and not in the one who says it, our prayers do make a difference."
- Max Lucado
Move Your Mind Forward
Whatever you dwell upon in your mind, you give power to. So of course it makes sense to focus on what you want rather than what you don't want. Yet there are many ways in which the things you don't want can sneak into your thinking.
Worry and doubt focus your thinking on what you don't want. Rather than worrying about the bad things that might happen, direct your actions toward making positive things happen.
Complaining can also get your mind sidetracked into thinking about what you don't want. What do you complain about? The things you don't like. Rather than complaining, take action. Action moves you toward what you do want.
Anger is one more way to get your thinking negatively directed. Rather than getting angry about what you don't like, use that energy to give you determination for what you want to achieve.
Keep your mind positively focused on the good things that life can offer. Those things will grow stronger and more abundant in your world.
- Author Unknown
"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."
- Philippians 4:8
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . .
Memories Can Be So Memorable
In growing older, I noticed a strange phenomenon. The older I get, the more I forget. I remember things that happened in my youth and the pressure of those memories is, are they true, or am I just making them up? I have nobody to verify those memories.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
Seven year old Johnny had finished his summer vacation and gone back to school.
We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it's fun to not be able to open that drawer.
Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused his dentist's Novocain during root canal work?
"The opinion of 10,000 men is of no value if none of them know anything about the subject."
An irate subscriber stormed into a newspaper office waving the current edition, asking to see "whoever wrote the obituary column."
A judge enters the courtroom, strikes the gavel and says,
My superpower is holding on to stuff for years and throwing it away exactly one week before I need it.
A doctor had just delivered twins. They were a boy and a girl. The head nurse brought them out for their father to see. He could hardly believe his good fortune. The girl baby had a pink blanket wrapped around her and the boy baby was enclosed in a blue blanket.
"If speaking kindly to plants helps them grow, imagine what speaking kindly to humans can do."
1. If I like it, it's mine.
So after winning the game, I decided to throw the ball into the crowd like they do on TV ... apparently, it's unacceptable in bowling.
A lawyer sent an overdue bill to a client.
"Every man is guilty of all the good he did not do."
Once there was a little boy. When he was three weeks old his parents turned him over to a baby-sitter.
Upon retirement, my life changed in few ways. I'm still as busy as before; I just don't get a paycheck for being busy. Nothing has changed that much.
"Hello, hello?" shrilled a spinsterish voice over the phone. "Is this the SPCA?"
Always order two coffees ... to make your second donut look like it's for someone else. 
A famous treasure hunter went out one day with all of his diving gear to search for a treasure box that was supposed to be on a sunken ship. He swam around for a while and looked where it was supposed to be, but didn't find anything.
My little brother just asked, "Why are people so nice to the people who are about to die?"
As we stood in formation at the Pensacola Naval Air Station, our Flight Instructor said, "All right! All you idiots fall out."
If you ever spent more than five minutes with me, you would conclude that I do not know everything. I would agree 100%.