Cybersalt Digest Archive

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Cybersalt News

Oh look, Chicken Thursday!

We got enough snow at Cybersalt World Headquarters yesterday for me to go out and do some shoveling. If you live anywhere that gets enough snow to shovel, you will know the frustration of clearing the end of your driveway only to have the city snowplow bury it again when it passes by.

So there I was, standing at the end of my driveway when I saw the plow coming down the road. I decided the operator had probably already suffered enough abuse from end-of-the-driveway shovelers that morning, so I planned on waving and smiling as he passed by. As he approached I put my gloved hand in the air to give him a wave, but I noticed he wasn't paying an attention. However, right when he got up to me I could tell he noticed me out of the corner of his eye - standing there with my hand up towards him. I really hope he also saw I was smiling! 

Today's video share is of a three-year-old who plays the piano better than I do. I actually don't play the piano, but that doesn't change the fact that it's painful that a three-year-old can!
Click here to watch the video

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.

~ Pastor Tim 

In a hat shop a saleslady gushed: "That's the hat for you! It makes you look ten years younger."

"Then I don't want it," retorted the customer.

"I certainly can't afford to put on ten years every time I take off my hat!"

I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.

"Be a Billionaire!"

and Help

Refugees and

Persecuted Christians

Read a fascinating book I just got from the Discovery Channel.

"Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Centipedes".

It's good reading, but about 60% of the book is footnotes.

"Pay attention to your patterns. The way you learned to survive may not be the way you want to continue to live. Heal and shift."

- Dr. Thema Bryant-Davis

People who do lots of work...
make lots of mistakes.

People who do less work...
make less mistakes.

People who do no work...
make no mistakes.

People who make no mistakes...
get promoted.

That's why I spend most of my time sending e-mails & playing games at work.

I need a promotion.

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.

Click here to view this edition online!  

Cybersalt News

Sunday greetings, everyone!

Wow, is it every cold at Cybersalt World Headquarters! My dad has a saying for how cold it is, but like a lot of sayings that dad's have. I can't print it here, lol, but trust me, it really is that cold!

Today's video share has me rethinking my strategy about keeping mice out of the house (not that I have any complaints about Grandma Cybersalt!)
Click here to watch the video.

Enjoy the rest of today's digest!

~ Pastor Tim 

Losing weight is the number one New Year's Resolution.

The problem is, hardly anything works.

Well, I found this one diet that will absolutely shed the pounds.

Read it and see if you don't agree. It works for my two-year-old.

Miracle Toddler Diet! Guaranteed Results!

People are always on the lookout for a new diet. The trouble with most diets is that you don't get enough to eat (the starvation diet), you don't get enough variation (the liquid diet) or you go broke (the all-meat diet). Consequently, people tend to cheat on their diets, or quit after 3 days.

Well, now there's the new Toddler Miracle Diet. Over the years you may have noticed that most two-year-olds are trim. Now the formula to their success is available to all in this new diet. You may want to consult your doctor before embarking on this diet, otherwise, you may be seeing him afterwards. Good Luck !

DAY ONE:

Breakfast: One scrambled egg, one piece of toast with grape jelly.
Eat 2 bites of egg, using your fingers; dump the rest on the floor.
Take 1 bite of toast, then smear the jelly over your face and clothes.
Lunch: Four crayons (any color), a handful of potato chips, and a glass of milk (3 sips only, then spill the rest).
Dinner: A dry stick, two pennies and a nickel, 4 sips of flat Sprite.
Bedtime snack: Throw a piece of toast on the kitchen floor.

DAY TWO:

Breakfast: Pick up stale toast from kitchen floor and eat it.
Drink half bottle of vanilla extract or one vial of vegetable dye.
Lunch: Half tube of "Pulsating Pink" lipstick and a handful of Purina Dog Chow (any flavor). One ice cube, if desired.
Afternoon snack: Lick an all-day sucker until sticky, take outside, drop in dirt.
Retrieve and continue slurping until it is clean again.
Then bring inside and drop on rug.
Dinner: A rock or an uncooked bean, which should be thrust up your left nostril. Pour Grape Kool-Aid over mashed potatoes; eat with spoon.

DAY THREE:

Breakfast: Two pancakes with plenty of syrup, eat one with fingers, rub in hair.
Glass of milk; drink half, stuff other pancake in glass.
After breakfast, pick up yesterdays sucker from rug, lick off fuzz, put it on the cushion of best chair.
Lunch: Peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
Spit several bites onto the floor.
Pour glass of milk on table and slurp up.
Dinner: Dish of ice cream, handful of potato chips, some red punch.
Try to laugh some punch through your nose, if possible.

FINAL DAY:

Breakfast: A quarter tube of toothpaste (any flavor), bit of soap, an olive. Pour a glass of milk over bowl of cornflakes, add half a cup of sugar.
Once cereal is soggy, drink milk and feed cereal to dog.
Lunch: Eat bread crumbs off kitchen floor and dining room carpet.
Find that sucker and finish eating it.
Dinner: A glass of spaghetti and chocolate milk. Leave meatball on plate. Stick of mascara for dessert.

Enjoy!

My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that’s the law.

- Jerry Seinfeld

"Be a Billionaire!"

and Help

Refugees and

Persecuted Christians

My wife made me join a bridge club.

I jump off next Saturday.

"Holy joy lies in the habit of murmuring thanks to God for the smallest of graces."

- Ann Voskamp

A little boy is gone to school one day and while he is gone, his cat gets killed. His mother is very concerned about how he will take the news.

Upon his arrival home, she explains the tragedy and tries to console the boy saying, "But don't worry, the cat is in heaven with God now."

The boy replied, "What's God gonna' do with a dead cat?"

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . . 

I must confess I heavily lean towards being a workaholic; I just love working and keeping myself busy.

Years ago, I discovered that the busier I am, the less liable I am to get into trouble. No matter the trouble, I just don’t like it.

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.

Click here to view this edition online!  

Cybersalt News

Oh look, Chicken Thursday!

It looks like winter is actually going to make an appearance at Cybersalt World Headquarters this year (as in this winter.) The forecast is a stormy and chilly one, with the temperatures predicted to go as low as -9 Celsius over the next 6 days.

I was hoping to not have to blow the water out of our lawn sprinkler system this year, but today I relented and did so because that little bit of work is much better than the lot of work that would be required to fixed burst lines when they froze.

Today's video share is of a rick slide at Niagara Falls. It took place some time ago, but the "old timey" way the story was covered is part of the fun.
Click here to watch the video

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.

~ Pastor Tim 

~ Old telephone directories make ideal personal address books. Simply cross out the names and addresses of people you don't know.

~ When reading a book, try tearing out the pages as you read them. This saves the expense of buying a bookmark, and the pages can later be used for shopping lists.

~ Fool other drivers into thinking you have an expensive car phone by holding an old TV or video remote control up to your ear and occasionally swerving across the road and mounting the curb

~ Drill a one-inch diameter hole in your refrigerator door. This will allow you to check that the light goes off when the door is closed.

~ Avoid being wheel-clamped by jacking your car up, removing the wheels and locking them safely in the car until you return.

~ Avoid parking tickets by leaving your windshield wipers to "fast wipe" whenever you leave your car parked illegally.

~ Take your trash can to the supermarket with you so that you can see which items you have recently run out of.

~ No time for a bath? Wrap yourself in duct tape and remove the dirt by simply peeling it off.

~ Expensive hair gels are a con. Marmalade is a much cheaper alternative, but beware of bees in the summer.

~ Avoid cutting yourself while clumsily slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

I am so busy doing nothing… that the idea of doing anything – which as you know, always leads to something – cuts into the nothing and then forces me to have to drop everything.

- Jerry Seinfeld

"Be a Billionaire!"

and Help

Refugees and

Persecuted Christians

At the hospital where I work, the quality of meals offered in the employees' cafeteria is a true source of aggravation.

Once I watched two young surgeons approach the serving line.

After reading the posted menu and looking over the dishes displayed, one doctor turned to the other and remarked, "Well, no doubt about it, this calls for a culinary bypass."

Then they left to hurry five blocks west to Katz' Deli.

The Work of Christmas

When the song of the angels is stilled,
When the star in the sky is gone,
When the kings and princes are home,
When the shepherds are back with their flock,

The work of Christmas begins:

To find the lost,
To heal the broken,
To feed the hungry,
To release the prisoner,
To rebuild the nations,
To bring peace among people,
To make music in the heart.

- The Mood of Christmas by Howard Thurman

Trying to come to the aid of his Father, who was stopped by an officer for speeding, the lil' tyke piped up:

"Yeah? Well, if we were speeding, so were you!"

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . . 

On New Year’s Eve, The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage and I were celebrating in our living room with some hot apple cider.

We wanted to end the year together. At our age, with so many children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren, that’s a tough agenda. We love all our family, but sometimes it is just good to be by ourselves.

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.

Click here to view this edition online!  

Cybersalt News

New Year's Eve greetings, everyone!

As Earth spins out the old year, and spins in a new year, Susan and I want to thank you again for being a part of our lives through the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter and PearlyGates list. We are praying that 2024 will be a year of success for you.

Even more so we pray that God, who holds our spinning world in His hands, will fill your heart and soul with the abundant life he longs for all of us to have.

Today's video share is the reply of my annual year end live stream where I look back on what my business and personal goals were for 2023, and are for 2024!
Click here to watch the video.

Enjoy the rest of today's digest!

~ Pastor Tim 

A few days after Christmas last year, my six year old son and I were talking.

He asked, "Mom, is there a Santa Claus?"

"Well, what do you think?" I asked him.

He replied, "Well, my Playstation that I got and my gift from Santa were wrapped in the same kind of wrapping paper."

He thought for a minute and said, "I'll tell you what ... you and Dad can go on buying me presents and let's just forget we ever had this talk!"

Sun to Earth, on the night of 31st December: “Let’s have another round, shall we?”

"Be a Billionaire!"

and Help

Refugees and

Persecuted Christians

A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

"Kindness, kindness, kindness. I want to make a New Year's prayer, not a resolution. I'm praying for courage."

- Susan Sontag

I prepare to meet the New:
Old Year! a parting word that's true,
For we've been comrades, you and I --
I thank God for each day of you;
There! bless you now! Old Year, good-bye!

~ Robert Service

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . . 

If confession is good for the soul, I must confess here, I have not been successful at everything in my life. Oh yes, there are a few things I have been successful at, which I won’t mention right now. But many things I have failed to succeed at.

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.